Chicago will be safer after the Presidents speech or How to blow smoke up the ass of America. Pick a title.

Today the POTUS will surround himself with children. Children who we are to believe took it upon themselves to write the White House, because lets face it, who among us didn't write the president at some point during their childhood? Liberal anti gun folks will sit in front of their televisions, eyes brimming with tears as they hang on every word that rolls from Barry's lips. Newtown ,Aurora, Gabby Giffords, and Columbine will be referenced repeatedly. A bloody mantra. When it's all over, not a single life will have been saved. We won't be any safer. We WILL be even more divided as a nation. Those who support any and every thing Obama proposes will pat themselves on their collective back. They will stroke their fragile egos. They will assure themselves that THEY are the better people. They CARE.  They are what is GOOD and RIGHT in this country. They will go about their lives never questioning why their concern, their collective outrage, doesn't or hasn't to this point, extended beyond the rare mass shooting to the ever present and ongoing daily violence that plagues this country.

Meanwhile, here in the real world, people will continue to die. Chicago will continue to be more dangerous than Iraq or Afghanistan. Blood will run through the streets of every major and minor city in the nation. The president probably wont mention Chicago, even though he began his swift rise to power in Chi town. He owns a home there. A home that will continue to be protected by Secret Service agents for the remainder of Obamas life or at least as long as he owns it. We chortle derisively at the mention of armed guards in schools, but never utter a sound at the hypocrisy of protecting an unoccupied house with armed guards. 

African Americans who voted for Obama simply because of his ethnicity won't bother to question why the killings of mostly white children has drawn such a dramatic response while their own children die at the hands of one another as regularly as a clock ticks. They will praise the administration for taking a stand against the hoardes of hillbillies who legally own guns, who never commit a single crime. Their world won't be any safer in the inner city. They still won't sleep in front of windows, or sit on their porches late of a summer evening.
They will mistakenly believe that new gun laws that restrict law abiding Americans from protecting themselves somehow makes the world a safer place. They won't question how. They will just blindly and stupidly believe. The next day or the following hour, another of their young will lay bleeding out on cold concrete. Nothing will change.

In Kansas City, St. Louis, Chicago, or any other city, African Americans will continue to die in disproportionate numbers, at  their own hands. They won't be killed in mass shootings while in school. The predators who rule their streets and instill fear in their lives will continue the business of killing. and business is booming. The liberal left will cheer the President for his brave action. They will high 5 one another. They will swell with pride for being  good and decent, forward thinking folks. They will go back to their suburban lives, in their idyllic neighborhoods, and quicker than you can say Chai Latte with Soy Milk, another family in the urban core will bury another child.

Gun violence in this country isn't about who has the most bullets, the fastest firing pistol, or the most guns. Gun violence in this country is overwhelmingly about gang violence, a lack of value on human life, and a culture that celebrates sociopaths. Violence in this country cannot be placed solely on any single race or subculture. However, a disproportionately small percentage of society is responsible for an equally disproportionately high percentage of death and violence in this country. Until people develop the stones to speak on it, nothing will change. But at least folks can feel good that Obama cares about rare mass shootings, even if he has ignored the deaths of young black boys who  look like his own son, if he had one. Nothing political about that. Nothing to see here. Move along and stay clear of windows.

Fast Eddie Friday...Looking at the bright side through rose colored night vision goggles

In the aftermath of a stinging and shocking defeat it's easy to be depressed. I'll admit its been as tough of a week for me as it has been for many of my fellow Old Angry White Dudes and the barefoot and pregnant gingham prairie dress women who love us , lest they get beat with a stick. As 200 hundred of you loyal rubes are aware, I'm an eternal optimist.  I ALWAYS look at the bright side of life. So I've taken it upon myself as an old angry white guy to point out the top 5 reasons you should be glad Obama won the election.

5.  We are going to be a slimmer nation. Lets face it, we are some fat sombitches. Why else would the first lady have spent the last 4 years telling us to eat our peas and do some jumping jacks. Remember when you were starting out on your own? You left the nest, got that shitty studio apartment, and lived on ramen noodles and bologna? You were lean and mean right? Well as the economy tanks and jobs disappear, so to shall the days of cake and steak. You fat bastards are going to finally get those pesky pounds shed.

4. Comic relief. Laughter is the best medicine. We have 4 more years of Biden. If we are really lucky he might run in 2016.  I can feel you smiling at the computer screen right now.

3. The Ron Paulers and Tea Party people are saying they are going to take over between now and 2016. Hey, nothing says shits and giggles like isolationist foreign policy and tricorn hats. ;)  I'm sure the people who voted for Obama because Romney was going to cut entitlements are gonna love these two groups of "real conservatives". 2016 is in the bag!

2. We can finally declare racism dead! Sure there were all those "I'm gon riot if Romneys wins, or I'm gonna assasinate Romney if he wins" tweets. I was a little worried, I've gotta admit. But the media and the Secret Service is all over that shit, or at least the single anti Obama facebook post where some white woman called Obama the n word.

1. If shit starts to get dicey in the middle east fear not. Potus will just stroll in with his sharp crease and sing a few bars of  "My Girl". Lets face it nothing soothes and calms like the Temptations. Maybe he can challenge Ahmadinejad to a pickup game of horse or a round of golf. Winner gives up their nukes. Fear not, Obama has a hella 3 pointer.

In the words of Lil Orphan Annie and Jay Z, "It's a hard knock life" but at least we can all go to hell in a hand basket, or maybe one of those kick ass Chevy Volts. 

Steady and Solid gets trumped by Shallow, Stupid, and Stubborn.

A million years ago I was a kid spending long hot summers with my maternal grandparents in Oklahoma. At 5, 6, or 7 years old, the world was my oyster even if that world was confined to red sandy dirt, goat head stickers hiding in the grass, waiting for  the bare feet of a young boy, and a sweetly eccentric grandma who smoked Lark cigarettes in a chicken coop. Those were good days. Plenty of bad shit would weave it's way in and out of the ensuing years, but for a few summers things were good. Innocent. My Grandfather was typical Okie stock. Honest, hard working, quiet, solid. Big Smith bib overalls , a denim shirt, wellington boots, a hat outdoors and a bald pate untouched by the sun indoors. He read the paper, watched the news, and on Sundays it was Lawrence Welk and maybe Ed Sullivan. He was the first man I recall admiring,was in awe of. By the time I was 13 or so, a few years prior to his death, well on my way to wild,  my grandpa seemed boring, dull, my admiration dead and done. Most of you know the rest of the story. Reformatories, prisons, wasted years. I haven't set foot in that red Oklahoma dirt in 25 years or better.

Fast forward to now.

If you were to look around you at any given moment of the day chances are you wouldnt see guys cut from the same cloth as my Grandfather.  They aren't standing in line at Starbucks or Panera waiting for their bean sprout and free range chicken panini. They are busy plowing a field or shaping a piece of wood into something useful. The rest of the world is busy trying to keep up with the latest trend or pissing themselves at the effete vision of what passes for the modern, according to Hoyle man. Today its all style, flash, and bullshit.  Steady and solid is looked upon with disdain and derision. Somehow we lost our way. What once mattered when taking the measure of a man has changed.

I'm probably going to ramble too long, but stick with me and I'll get where I'm going.

My Grandfather was a commercial roofer. Hot tar, hot enough to burn you to the bone, mopped onto flat roofs in oppressive Oklahoma summer heat. He employed about a half dozen men cut from the same cloth as himself. Steady. Solid. None of them, including my Grandfather Delbert, graduated high school. They grew up during the depression, school was a luxury their families could ill afford. Everyone worked or everyone starved. Delbert left behind his childhood before it had run it's course. He built a small business. He supported 4 children and a wife. He employed those other like minded men who in turn supported families of their own. I guess you could say Delbert was a hero of sorts, at least that's how I see him in retrospect. In reality he was the rule of his time rather than the exception.

Delbert has been dead and gone for more than 35 years. If he were alive today he would be a minority. a working class white man who believed in God, family, his country. He believed a mans worth hinged on his usefulness, his contribution, his labor. Values that are mocked by the ruling class today. His values, lack of proper education, his anglo roots, his home in fly over country, all would brand him as a hick and probably a racist one to boot. Liberal shit heels from the east and west coasts, along with their lesser lap dog compatriots here in the midwest, hold nothing but contempt, fear, and loathing for men like Delbert.

And here is where I was heading, like it or not. And some of you won't.

The country made a decision a couple of days ago. Try to rebuild what once made this country strong, or stick with the newest new deal. Hard often painful sacrifice, or a giant nest of  angry little birds with their beaks open, demanding to be fed and cared for long after they should have left the nest. Over half the country chose the latter. The media and liberal Americans derided and villified the candidate who built a fortune, saved businesses, cared for his family and complete strangers. A good and decent man. Steady. Solid. Boring by todays standards. They chose instead a modern day definition of a man. Vain, arrogant, lacking humility when it was called for, and full of it when it was least required. This country and a good share of it's people, chose style and bullshit over steady and solid. We lost. We ALL lost.

Now the arm chair quarterbacks, political pundits, and more than a few Tea Party zealots have begun to pick through the bones. Romney was just Obama in white face. He wasn't far right enough. The proof is in his loss. Or so they say.  I say the loss was inevitable because the standard by which we measure and admire a man has become two polar opposites. One the one hand is the weak spined metrosexual who believes we are a country that needs to pay for it's success. Offering alms for the sin of being a great nation.  On the other hand is an uncompromising and angry rabble who stupidly believe that they can bend a majority to capitulate to their all or nothing mentality. Steady and solid have left the building. Stupid and stubborn have taken up residency.

Drifting down the river of denial in a douche canoe....

Lately it takes a lot to get me wound up. The constant and steady barrage of stupidity in the world knows no limits. I've grown jaded, or numb, or just lost the desire to point out that we are surrounded by wobble heads, nimrods, shit heels, and mouth breathers. They walk among us, and while I hold out hope that. we the normal ,still out number, they the clueless, I gotta be honest they are gaining ground. Fast.


Remember Code Pink? The loons who dress up in giant vagina suits and protest anything they deem unfair to the portion of our society who are lucky enough to have Who Haa's. Not for nothin, but if I'd been born with one of those I'd never bother leaving the house.I wouldn't even  need cable or a playstation.  So the Code Pink chicks apparently decided that bitching and moaning over the possibility of paying for their own 9 buck birth control, while noble and proactive just wasn't enough. They planned to sally forth into the world and go global, fix some shit in a third world country. Someplace like Fuckedupistan or Bedrock.  Naturally when a group of  angry feminists and the eunuch men who love em decide to take their show on the road, they choose a place that will be receptive and welcome them with open arms. Pakistan . About three dozen code pinkies are headed toward Pakistan’s militant / Taliban controlled  tribal belt to protest U.S. drone strikes.

“I’m hoping that what (the protest) will show is that the Pakistani people and American people and even the people in the tribal areas want peace,” said Joe Lombardo, a U.S. activist from Delmar, New York.

In response the Taliban has promised to scatter vaginas, both varieties, real and wearable, all over the countryside .

Last  Saturday, a statement from a Taliban faction in eastern Pakistan warned that militants would welcome the protesters with suicide bombings.“We ask the brave people of Waziristan not to side with the gang of Jews and Christians – otherwise their fate will be terrible,” the Punjabi Taliban said in the statement. I'm going to assume that these tards came to their senses or got side tracked doing a reading of the Vagina Monologues for a couple of Bedouin camel herders.  I'd hate to hear the protestors had their empty heads separated from their vegan bodies.

 Truly I would.

But there is a rub, and here it is. These Code Pink people and others of their ilk will go out of their way to "save" those who neither need or want saving. Either at home or abroad. These rescuers of the oppressed. These champions of the down trodden. Never mind that most of the people in these tribal regions would just as soon decapitate these self anointed saviors. A group of super liberals that stand for everything that those being rescued are against. Meanwhile here in their own country, these vagina suit wearing, Sandra Fluke loving, socialist leaning nut bags, posses no limit of vitriol and unbridled hatred for their fellow Americans who dare to hold values that run contrary to their own.

Arab spring goes colder than winter.............

It seems like only yesterday. The media and politicians from both sides of the aisle were fawning over the freedom fighters and discontented youth in Eqypt and Lybia. They were fighting the good fight. They weren't riotous anti American Islamist extremists. Surely the 200 or 300 scumbags who savagely raped and assaulted reporter Lara Logan were thugs from  the Egyptian regime and not the peaceful protestors...Never that. Ms. Logan said later  “What really struck me was how merciless they were. They really enjoyed my pain and suffering. It incited them to more violence.” When reports started to trickle in that Lara was just one of many women raped by mobs in Egypt it hardly made the news. The constant thread running through the media and Washington regarding the Arab spring has been one of valiant youth vs. tyrannic dictators. It was all about democracy. The good fight. When video surfaced of Gaddafi being sodomized with a knife right before being mysteriously shot in the head, ooops, you didn't hear much about the brutality or mindset of the rebels. When U S servicemen foolishly recorded themselves pissing on dead bodies of men who wanted them dead, there was no lack of outrage, no shortage of coverage.

We never really vetted the rebels, the protestors, the brains behind the mobs. The Muslim  Brotherhood runs the show in Egypt and have called for more  peaceful  protests. We lost 4 Americans on 9/11 in Lybia and our allies in Egypt are calling for more protests against us, for a film that has not been seen by the majority of the people who are so enraged and offended over it. The response from our Secretary of State Clinton? Disbelief  that someone we helped liberate would seek us out and murder us. We have apologized profusely, over and over, to Muslims across the globe. Meanwhile at the recent DNC the killing of Bin Laden was touted 20 plus times. We have been taking out radical Islamists with drone attacks on unprecedented levels. Don't get me twisted, I'm okay with that. They need killing. That said, you can't kill these pricks and expect no retaliation.

I was listening to NPR yesterday. They had one of their experts on discussing the recent attacks on our embassies. She went on and on to assure us that this was the work of extremists that hijacked the peaceful protest. So we are to believe that there is a difference between the vast majority of the protestors and the few bad apples scattered amongst them. We deal with them and applaud them as if they were San Fran Liberals protesting for the right to breast feed in public or picketing a chicken joint. We go out of our way to disavow any connection between the mobs at our embassy gates and the animals who seek to harm us during these peaceful protests.  They  are one and the same. They always have been and always will be.

"We love death. The U.S. loves life. That is the difference between us two."
Osama bin Laden

There is a parable most of you have probably heard in one variation or another.  A Scorpion asks a frog to give him a ride across a lake.  The frog says no way, you'll sting me if i let you on my back. The' scorpion promises he wont harm the frog, he just needs a lift across the water because he can't swim. So the frog agrees. Halfway across the lake, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog can't believe it. Just before they both drown the frog asks why the scorpion would seal both of their deaths by that sting. The scorpion replies, it's just my nature.