Fast Eddie Friday

I don't have enough fodder for one of my usual long ramblings, so it's Fast Eddie Friday once again. Hang on , here we go, fast and loose.

Turns out the woman who just had 8 babies in California already has 6 kids. She is also fairly young, and from the tone of the news pieces I'm reading, it appears there is no baby daddy in the picture. She lives with her parents. We already know she was taking fertility drugs. So what it seems we have is a young lady who thinks her womb is the proverbial clown car. Of course she is being cheered for not doing selective culling and aborting some of embryo. I'm looking at pics of the family's home which doesn't reek of money, or at least the estimated 2 million bucks it's going to take to raise these 6 pups. The grandfather is an Iraqi, who is about to go back to Iraq and do some contract work to support the kids. Not surprisingly, I'm not one of the cheerleaders for miss Lotta Room in da Womb. Rather than applaud her for not aborting some of the fetus, I wonder why 6 kids she can't raise on her own weren't enough. I'm sure residents of California will be none to pleased once they realize who is going to foot the bill for the 14 kids this single mom who lives with her parents has brought in to the world.

"But I will acknowledge that I would have concerns if I was the friends and family of this young girl. " The Money Line O the Week goes to Drew ( where's my shovel" Peterson. Concerns, really, I can't imagine why anyone would be concerned since Drew's last two wives are as dead as doorknobs. Then again his Fiancee knows all about Drew, so she won't garner any concern or sympathy from me. If she ends up getting planted in the woods too bad. She has the same mindset as the crazy people in China who keep getting mauled after trying to hug a Panda at the zoo, because they look so cute. Yes Drew Peterson does look like the Cowardly lion guy from the wizard of Oz, but that doesn't mean he won't run his new bride through a limb chipper if she burns supper. On a bright note, at least this woman's chances of reproducing are slim since she probably wont be around long. That may seem a little harsh, then again if you try to hug a Panda, you deserve to get your face eaten.

Kelly Roman has brought the wrath of breast feeding moms down upon Facebook. Apparently Facebook deemed her breast feeding photos as obscene and removed them from her page. Women's rights groups are all up in Facebooks face over the conundrum. The photo below is of Kelly's 22 month old daughter knocking back a couple of jugs at Kelly's Tavern. I'm not doctor Spock, so please feel free to set me straight, but there is something unsettling about a kid that size and age nipping at the jug. Let me just say that breast feeding is not obscene, and breasts also known under the more technical term, Milk Cannons, are not obscene. I'm a huge fan of the breast, Im all for breast feeding. That said, I don't think I would want someone I cared about posting such a private moment on the Internet. Consider the fact that the Internet is Creepy Creeperman central. Come on Kelly, pun intended, do you really want a bunch of creepy guys tuggin one off to pictures of you breast feeding your 22 month old child?

I've seen women pull a fun bag, another medical term, out in public so the little one could sup. Yes it's perfectly natural to breast feed, it's a good thing, nothing to be ashamed of. Urination is also healthy and natural, if I whipped Mr. Happy out at the mall and started pissing in a flower pot, I'm pretty sure it would be a major Fuax Pas. Same goes for Facebook. My point is, calling it natural is one thing, exposing random strangers to it is none to classy, and sorry mommy but it could be deemed offensive by some, not me I'm all for public breasticles, I'm just sayin. Now somebody set me straight, is 22 months a tad old to be breast feeding?

Have a safe weekend, and don't forget; Milk does a body good.

Jihad Baby..................

We all remember the woman who claimed her 4-year-old's baby doll seemed to have a hidden message: Islam is the light. Her name is Rachel Jones and apparently a Jihad has been declared against her family, by Islamic extremist,....... toys. My money is on those freaks from the Island of Misfit Toys , you know, the ones from Rudolph. But back to Rachel Jones. Several months back she buys her kid a talking doll. She then claims the doll said "Islam is the light". She raises a big stink, news people lapped it up like cats to cream. They played a little snip in the middle of a string of simulated baby gibberish, and through David Copperfield like magic they gleaned the 4 word message. So now she is back at it, and this time it's a virtual baby in a Nintendo game. When you bathe the baby, she claims it says, you guessed it, "Islam is the light".

I think she is on to something, but the message sounds like "Is my mommy high?", at least that's what I hear. There is a clip from the news people who are reporting this load of paranoid hillbilly bullshit as fact. Here is the video and story. Shit gets deeper. Mom is now worried about her sons talking toys. I expect mom Rachel will be on the news next week accusing Hasbro of promoting homosexuality through the don't ask don't tell, GI Joe with the kung fu grip. Pull his dog tags and you get Judy Garland singing over the rainbow, not to mention the thinly veiled, clearly fetish inspired Frogman outfit.

What makes the story so priceless is that this woman clearly believes her children's toys are some insidious attempt by Islamic radicals to brainwash her toddler. You know as well as I do that this kooky broad sits for hours at a time, playing the same string of gibberish coming from the toy until she finds just the right spot where the message is concealed. Crave Entertainment is the maker of the the baby game, they also have another popular game, and one that I haven't heard any mention of, it's called The Bible Game. Knowing that kind of makes the whole Jihad for babies thing seem a little thin, which is why WTHI in Terre Haute didn't report it, or judging from their chicken little journalism, even bother to look in to Crave Entertainment. All the reporter said was that Crave didn't return her call. Clearly the news stations reporters and news director got their journalism degrees at the Acme school of Readin, Cyfurin, and Writin. Either that or they are pandering to an audience they perceive as gullible and scared shitless of their own shadows.

The reporter Jessica Hayes is catching a little heat from the literate, non retarded faction of their viewing audience, which probably is outnumbered 10 to 1 by the people who believe that two unrelated toy makers, one based out of Japan, the other in California, are in cahoots with Islamic extremists. The hack reporter doesn't seem to think it's a stretch that this one woman in Bug Tussle Indiana just happened to purchase two completely unconnected toys, that just happen to contain the exact same hidden Islamic messages. These two unrelated toy makers put the same message in two different toys. Sounds about right, since we all know that Japan is a hot spot for Islamic extremists. I'm sure that in the weeks to come, the baby will go from taking virtual baths to flying a virtual plane in to a virtual building, thereby converting 4 year olds near and far in to baby Bin Ladens.

And now we sit back and wait for the thousands of nut job parents who will all clamber aboard the crazy train because their kid has these toys, and they really do say Islam is the light. I've got a suggestion for the Mother of Fear Rachel Jones, stop buying your kids toys that talk. I'd suggest buying them some books, and Lincoln logs. That way they can learn to read and possibly think for themselves some day, and if that doesn't work out, the Lincoln logs will give them some experience in building a primitive home in the woods where they will be safely insulated from this world fraught with perilous video games and baby dolls. By the way I hear the doll doubles as a dirty bomb when you remove the diaper.

In the meantime Rachel Jones will keep getting high on the paranoia and power of suggestion speedball. It's a hell of a drug.

The long way around the block

Dogs and Homeless People. I can pass by a dozen homeless guys on a dozen different corners every day of the week. I might, maybe, peel off a buck or three and slip it out the window to one of them, maybe. But you put a homeless guy with a dog and I will not only slip em a few bucks, I'll run to the nearest fast food place and pick up their lunch. Just ask this guy and his Saint Bernard, who left me about 15 bucks lighter, dinner included. I've got a theory as to why the added prop of a dog evokes a sympathetic reaction from me and it's pretty simple; I love dogs, at times more than most people. The homeless guy doesn't know that, he is just trying to get a few bucks for some grub and probably booze. The dog is just his companion. But it triggers a reaction in me.

I'll tell you what prompted me to write this; the economy. I'm seeing more and more homeless men and women, posted up on some corner, with a sign that I rarely if ever bother to read. Shit is just going to get worse. Jobs are being lost at an alarming rate with no end in site. The long and short of it is that there will be an increasing number of homeless people who have more in common with you and I ,than they do with the current crop of homeless people. When I say You and I, that doesn't mean we are the same type of people, because we aren't. There is a big difference between most of You, and Me. That difference is a big one, and it's also the reason that many of you take time out to read this blog. You would never turn to crime as a last resort, or you believe you would'nt, which is just as admirable, after all, it's the thought that counts. For most people there will always be other recourse short of stealing or begging. But once someone crosses that imaginary line, it becomes easier to cross again. Doesn't mean it's not wrong, it just is the way it is. That's the difference I'm referring to . That difference is going to determine if homeless guy decides to beg, borrow, or steal for a living.

Here is a purely hypothetical situation. I get thrown out on the street tomorrow. I'm jobless, can't find a job, any job, my family turns their back on me, my girlfriend drops me like a rock. Is there anyone in their right mind that believes I would go stand on a corner begging for pocket change? I wish I could tell you that is exactly what I would do, but it isn't. If my back was to the wall, my ego alone would prevent me from begging. I like to think I would have a moral battle waged inside my head and heart, but in the end, I'd fall of the Felony free wagon. Now that's not going to happen, but if it did, that's what I'd do. It's what I know, I did it for over 20 years, and as a last resort, it's what I'd do, for better or worse. I would feel some guilt, not unlike the guilt of some former drunk who falls off the wagon after 10 years, and much like that drunk, the guilt wouldn't stop me from doing it.

Now my point to this too long post, and it's probably not what you are expecting. With the economy going in the tank, there are a whole lot of guys like me, and a whole lot more that make me seem like Little Lord Fauntleroy, who are going to find themselves in the situation I just gave you. They probably work some menial job, and have managed to keep their noses clean. What happens when they lose that job and find themselves in that suddenly non hypothetical situation? Will they swallow their pride, maybe get a dog, and beg for change? No. Will they revert to the former life of crime? You bet they will. And trust me, it's already happening. With the economy tanking, crime will inevitably rise.

Wayne Cauthen our city manager wants to cut the police departments budget by 12 million dollars. This isn't news, I'm just slow to get to it. This will take 225 cops off the street. Now Wayne gets a pretty fat slice of cake, his contract is well in to the 6 figure range if I'm not mistaken. Maybe Wayne could cut his salary, give till it hurts. After all, thats what he is asking the Police department to do. That's what he is asking every single man woman and child in this city to do. There is one difference, I'm just proposing that the city manager give up some cheddar, a little coin. Wayne wants the police and people of this city to give up safety, security, and in some cases, he is asking people to give up living. That's what is going to happen. People are going to die because of these cuts.

The day they take 225 cops off Kansas City streets due to budget constraints, is the day the Perfect Storm will be born. The bad economy is going to bring bad guys out of retirement, with fewer cops to even out the playing field crime rates will soar in this city. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that divided by 3 shifts, we will be light by 75 cops on the street at any given time. That's 75 cops who won't just happen to be close by when they are needed most. That's 75 cops who wont be there to protect and serve. And why won't they be there? Because our city manager is lazy, he wants to cut every city service across the board, quick, simple and easy. Our murder rate this year was one of the highest in recent history. And the best that our city manager can come up with is to cut the single most important budget in this city, public safety. Wayne Cauthen should have been a Weather Man, they get paid to get shit wrong too.

And thats how we go from a homeless guy to a city manager. The long way around the block.

Answers in The Little Blue.

The first thing that you notice is how barren of life the place looks. Missouri woods in winter tend to be pretty bleak , knowing what took place here makes it seem even more so. The Little Blue River is mostly frozen over, there are a couple of spots where the current is stronger and the ice hasn't completely formed. Standing in the woods as cars cross the bridge overhead, you can't help but wonder about all of the minutiae, what she was thinking, what the little one thought, what made her, no what allowed her to do it. All of the things you don't really want to think about or know, yet can't help but wonder about. Yellow Police tape lays twisted on the ground, more tangled in the bushes. At the base of a big oak, a memorial of teddy bears , a toy penguin, some candles. That's the only evidence of what happened here that still exists.

Lecletia J. Hardy, 26, and her child, Lailah, not yet two years old, spent their last moments on this earth right here along the banks of the Little Blue. Lecletia had a choice, she could have backed out, changed her mind, saved her child, but she didn't. She offered up her baby to the icy water, and then herself. While more information about the woman has been scarce, eventually, inevitably, some news source will reveal more. They will interview family and friends, maybe they already have and I missed it. Someone will say she was a wonderful person, a doting mother who cherished her child above all else, it's just a matter of time. Maybe Lecletia was all of those things, but the moment she took her child's life it became a moot point. That single horrific irreversible act forever seals who she was.


This would usually be the point where I go on a rant and point out the obvious that most don't want to get in to, but I'm going to leave that alone for once. It can't be undone, and the family and friends are left to deal with the aftermath. Normally I don't have a problem saying what I think, even if it hurts feelings or offends. It's easy to rail about some spoiled Florida mother who kills her child, or whatever whack job I decide to pick on. Even if its someone locally, I usually don't have any qualms about knockin em around a little. The difference this time is that I went to the spot where it happened. When you stand under that bridge, the hard bleached out grass crunching under your feet, the trees barren, the Little Blue river the only color other than the bridge, and the stuffed toys, it suddenly seems real.

I had Max with me, the few minutes we spent there had made him cold, he refused to take a single step back up the hill. I cussed him, then picked him up, and started up the hill with just his head sticking out of my coat. When I reached the top of the hill a car pulled over and a black woman in her 20's walked over to the railing and looked over. She looked at me, a middle aged, bald headed white man, with a Yorkie sticking out of his coat, I'm sure she thought I was crazy. I mumbled something about it being a horrible thing, or something equally stupid and awkward, got in my car and drove away.

If you were waiting for some resolution to this story, or a moral, you're probably going to be disappointed. I drove over there with the intention of taking a few pictures. I expected some crime tape, cigarette butts, maybe EMT debris. What I didn't expect was the stuffed animals around the tree, or the young woman who made me instantly self conscious and feeling guilty even for being there. I won't pretend to understand the why and how of it all. The only thing I can say with any certainty is that the answers, if any where to be had, are forever lost in the icy water. The people who loved little Lailah and her mother despite it all, those people will be the caretakers of those unanswered questions, they will spend the rest of their lives wondering why.

The Grotto.........

When you approach the Grotto that sits flanked by Pine trees, the first thing you notice is that it's quiet. Even with the midday traffic flowing past from Broadway and Linwood, you can hear the cars, the noise, but it seems muffled somehow. You walk up to the little altar, Mary is directly in front of you, perched atop the nave, to your left is a statue of the other Mary?, her face broken off. The stone alter is lined with candles, Faith, Superstition, all in the eye of the beholder, what is certain is that the candles are comfort and consolation to someone. The crucifix, Christ broken not by the sins of the world, but the hand of the uncaring, cruel, and thoughtless. Red wax streaks down the figures body thick like blood. The head met the same fate as the other Mary. A yellow A inside a circle is sprayed at the base of the alter.

When I first walked up to the Grotto, there were two men surveying the damage, talking to one another. We exchanged a few words, the standard, "Wow, that's a shame". One of the men tells me that the police are writing it off as the work of some drunk bum or wild kids. The guy says "It oughta be a hate crime". He goes on to say if it had happened at a black church it would have been. I just nod my head, not wanting to go in to a long debate on the difference. The two men walk away, as an old couple comes up the stone walk while I'm snapping a couple of pictures. The little lady stops short, not wanting to get in the way. I tell her I'm done, you go ahead. She and the old man, who I assume is her husband, approach the little shrine, I see her hand go up , even with her back to me I know she is covering her mouth, a universal reflex when an older lady sees something upsetting. The old man just looks down at the ground, shakes his head. I feel like an intruder, so I leave. I'm going back up there in a couple of hours, after dark. I'm curious to see what it looks like.

I pulled over to the parking lane on linwood road. A bright light casts shadows across the jagged stones, candles flicker, traffic slips past. The news is reporting eleven incidents of vandalism. Best I can tell this incident at the Redemptorist Catholic Church is by far the worst in terms of the impact it has had on peoples lives. My previous post, a couple of days prior to the vandal striking at the grotto, was half rant, half wise ass. I tossed around digs on Anarchists, but this isn't the work of an Anarchist, they don't really exist in this city. The person or persons doing this have shown their true colors, they aren't concerned with making a political statement, anarchy has nothing to do with this. The motive behind it all is one dimensional, it's just a game, a way to get the adrenaline flowing, a cheap thrill.

The result in this instance has touched more than a few lives. From the old couple to the countless people who come here to light a candle and offer up a prayer, the question is surely repeated over and over, Why? The answer is really simple, it isn't about anarchy, or making a political statement, it's just some freaks idea of fun. Whoever it was didn't stop to think about the impact, didn't really care one way or the other. They were just bored, it's a game. I can only imagine the impact this has and will have on the people who managed to find some solace , some comfort in the ritual of prayers and candles, in this little spot in midtown. I'm not a believer, but I come from a long line of them, so I know what something like this means to the devout. From the old white people who have spent a lifetime offering up their prayers and confessions, to the younger and poorer Mexicans who light the tall glass candles that line the small shelf below the now broken Christ, they have all been touched, victimized, by the vandalism.

You don't have to be a believer to appreciate this place. I've passed it hundreds, probably thousands of times, I never realized the little grotto was even there. I'd wager most in midtown were just as unaware as I was. We all have something that gets us by, for many it's religion. I'm not so arrogant in my disbelief to discount the importance of someones faith. I saw it first hand in my Grandmother who never missed a Sunday in church. Her entire life was centered on her belief in God. The people who come to this grotto are just as convinced as my Grandmother that God and Church are the answer . It's not up to me or anyone else to discount or make light of that faith. Even though I've been guilty of that very thing on more than a few occasions. I hope they catch this punk or punks. The sad thing is the crime won't be a felony, it won't be a hate crime, it will end with a fine and unsupervised probation, if anyone is ever even caught and charged. In the meantime the people who come to this little piece of heaven in midtown will keep coming, keep lighting candles, continue to offer up prayers to their God. They will even say a few for whoever did all of this.

***Crime Scene Kansas City has a map showing where all 11 incidents have taken place, and more on the story.***

Anarchy for Idiots.

Kansas City's generic Anarchists are at it again. Apparently one or more of the unwashed, black turtle neck and beret wearing ass clowns have defaced another of our statue/memorial thing-a-ma-bobs.. Let me just go on record and say they best cut that shit out, we take our statues serious around here. I've never understood these "pseudo rebel" types wasting their time and spray paint on a mid size Midwestern city. Then again, maybe they are just small time stink pickles in the sewer of radicals. Anarchists and other douchey types, like Critical Mass are by and large just a bunch of over privileged college twits who have no real identity independent of Daddy's bank account, or they are 30 something creepy types who pretend they are over privileged college kids, in order to crack the hemp panties of the patchouli drenched chicks 15 years their junior. I mean, what do a bunch of white middle class 20 and 30 somethings have to rebel against? It's not like they are repressed or down trodden.

These clowns annoy me on a number of levels, but Ill try to contain it to a couple or three. The latest "Act of Rebellion" was to spray paint either the Anarchy symbol, or Atom Ants logo on the Pioneer statue in penn valley park. They also wrote stop the genocide on it as well. At the risk of adopting a tough guy swagger I just want to say that Kansas City Anarchists are pussies. They are as soft as medicated cotton balls, they wouldn't bust a grape in a jelly factory, and if they did they would run from the juice. You chuckle heads are like the Bad News Bears of Anarchy. You spray painted your symbol on a Little House on The Prairie statue, WTF?

Well today is your lucky day. Normally I would just write a series of punch lines and derisive remarks, slap up a couple of pics of unkempt goof balls in tight black clothes, and call it a day. But much like Jules , "I'm in a transitional period, and I don't want to hurt ya, I wanna help". If you guys are ever going to get any credibility among the other Beret wearers of the world, you are gonna have to step up your game. Here are my suggestions to put you on the fast track to becoming A list Anarchists, or a one way ticket to Patchouli oil heaven. Either way, somebody wins!
1. Stop spray painting lame shit like Pioneer Ladies and Subdivision Entrances. I suggest you scour the city and look for signs that other folks have spray painted. If you see something that looks like Hieroglyphics in dayglo orange on the side of a building, run over there and paint your symbol over it. Then stand around like you own the place. Ignore those guys all crabbed out on the corner, they don't mind. They may spray you with automatic weapons fire, but at least you died for THE CAUSE. At the very least, deface city hall or the P&L district. That will show THE MAN you are serious.
2. Bathe, Bathe, Bathe. Lather, Rinse, and Repeat. Look, nobody is going to sympathize with you when you smell like ass, sage, and sour milk. I know it's all part of the contrived look, the dark clothes, the code names, yes I'm talking about you Dark Jackal, you to Captain Crunch. A poor fashion sense is one thing, a fear of deodorant is another. You can't be stealthy like ninjas if the cops can smell you coming. Clean it up.

3. I think you guys need to start filming your acts of revolution. Nothing says seriously crazy and not to be fucked with , like someone filming their crimes. Camcorders aren't cheap, so you may have to forgo buying those checkered Chuck Taylors and that Black Henry Rollins T shirt, but no cause is without sacrifice. And lose the bandanna masks, it reeks of the Klan, another pussy move that anarchists and Klansmen have in common, lack of balls, thus hiding the face.

4. Last and most important, Stop tearing up shit in midtown. I know as sure as I'm sitting here, ensconced in my recliner upholstered in murdered cow hide, that you punks live around here. Criminal rule number ONE, and yes you are criminals, lame ones but criminals ; Never shit where you eat. More importantly never shit where people who might put a foot in your ass eat. Midtown people love Midtown. Even our winos and crack heads will pull you up short for defacing Midtown property. In case nobody informed you numb skulls, the Bourgeois Cake and Steak crowd lives on the other side of the state line, probably in the same biege subdivision as your alcoholic fathers and Oxycodone addled, Pilate's instructor blowin, mothers. Go home and run amok, besides Kansas prisons aren't nearly as harsh as Missouri prisons, so you might escape coming out with your colon hanging out like a tail. Stay clear of Olathe, most Olathians are Missouri ex-pats with guns.

Okay, I think that just about does it. I hope I've helped. Here lately I've been taking some flack for being a negative Nelly. I'm really working on cleaning up my image, so helping you crazy kids has helped me as well. I trust my critics will give me credit for being a kinder gentler MM. If not, then the standard "Blow Me" applies.

***disclaimer*** after making patchouli wise cracks, I'm certain at least a couple of my readers will tell me they wear it. I didn't mean YOU, I'm sure it doesn't smell like sweat and black pepper on You. Who am I kidding, it really doesn't smell good.

***Double Disclaimer**** I am in no way implying that all JoCo Soccer Moms pop pills and give mouth hugs to Pilate's instructors. That was just a witty generalization. Not all Soccer moms take Pilate's.

Midtown Miscreant's Pre Inaugural Address.

Got an umbrella handy? Good, you are going to need it, I'm about to piss on the parade. Tuesday history will be made again, another footnote in a long line of recent footnotes. Barrack Obama will take his oath and assume the office of President of The United States. In my lifetime I can only recall one president being greeted with such high hopes and great expectations, Jimmy Carter. I think we know how well that went. There is not a whole lot of difference in Obama and Carter as far as politics go, which is neither a slam on Obama or an endorsement of Carter's four years and out. In both cases the success of either mans presidency isn't determined by the level of opposition or criticism from the right. It is the supporters of Obama who will be his downfall should he fail to live up to their expectations. I hate to burst bubbles here, but the high level of expectations placed on Obama will guarantee he will only play 4 and out, just like Carter.


Carters supporters and the Democratic party turned on Jimmy like sharks devouring one of their own , and if expectations for Obama's first four years aren't lowered to a realistic level, he will meet the same end. If that happens, and I hope it doesn't, it won't be Obama's fault, it wont be because he failed miserably, it will be the fickle loyalty of people who have their own agendas, rather than the greater good. So here is a list of people who would be well advised to get their heads out of the clouds, drop the jelly beans and cotton candy, and step away from the unicorn.
Gay people, if you supported Obama because you believe he will eventually back Gay marriage, I hate to burst your bubble, but it ain't gonna happen. If you haven't figured that out by now, you will, and when you do, rather than act like injured brides left hanging at the altar, ask yourself this; Despite his opposition to gay marriage will you be better off under his presidency than say a conservative, like Palin or Huckabee? And before anyone threatens to scratch my eyes out, I'm all for gay marriage, it's just not going to happen on a federal level, ever.


Black folks, if you supported Obama because you believe it will automatically right history's wrongs in this country, if you believe the ridiculous notion that he will start doling out reparations money, or special favors by virtue of race, well you are wrong. We've come a long way baby, but at the end of the day, money controls this country. Money begets power, and the big money in this country is still white money. You would have a better shot at special favors if you courted the government in China. I believe we will see more social justice, we will see more help for the poor, and better chances for minority children to get a better education, all very much needed in a country that spends so much helping the world while ignoring it's own. Just don't make any plans on how to spend those reparations checks on that McMansion in South Leawood.


There is a long list of special interest groups, from Environmentalists to Unions, who naively believe that this is their guy. They foolishly believe that Obama will single handily change the way this government runs. If these folks don't temper their expectations, if they don't get a firm grasp on reality, Obama will be up to his ass in alligators , and the republicans will take control again after his first and only term.

Hey I'm not saying that people shouldn't be fired up, they should, Obama's swearing in is a big deal and should be celebrated as such. The thing is, and I honestly believe this will prove to be the case; better than 1/4th of Obama's supporters will have turned on him by the middle of his first term. Change. Change. Change. Like a mantra, that word has been repeated over and over, like a Bad Finger 45 with the turntable set to repeat. The first hundred times you hear it , it sounds really good. By the millionth time it just sounds annoying. Right now, as of this minute, the only thing that has changed in this country, is that we will soon have our first Black President. From here on out, change will come slowly, painfully, if it comes at all. The president Elect is taking over at one of the worst times in the last 100 years or more, perhaps not THEE worst, but pretty close. If he is competent, and I believe he is, Obama will focus on the big picture, the economy , Iraq, and Afghanistan. Everyone else can take a number for the next 4 to 6 years, he may or may not get around to you, but it wont be anytime soon. There has never , ever been a president in the history of this country who fulfilled all of his campaign promises, and there never will be. In between the promise and it's fruition, shit happens, things fall to the wayside. For some reason a large section of society believes Obama will break the streak, and while it's a nice sentiment, it ain't exactly reality.

My opinion, the most important one to me, is that Obama has all the makings of either the greatest president in my life time, or the biggest disappointment. The outcome will be determined by the willingness of Obama's supporters to put aside their own agendas and special interests for the greater good of the country. The jury is still out on that one, ask me again next year. Despite my less than rosy outlook, I really hope President elect Obama has a good run and begins to right the ship. I wish him Godspeed. Believe it or not, I am hopeful, I'm just not ready to call it a done deal.

**** My opinions aren't always met with cheers and confetti. Read for yourself here.****

Little Adolf Hitler gets a new bunker bed.

There is a whole lot of debate going on right now over the decision of New Jersey Division of Family Services decision to remove Adolf Hitler Campbell, 3, and his younger sisters JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, 1, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, 8 months, from their home. The DFS people insist that it has nothing to do with the names the degenerate parents burdened these kids with. So far the most informative article can be found on ABC. The loudest dissent comes from people concerned that the government is infringing upon the liberties of these two dirt bags. Keep in mind that neither of the parents work, they both sponge off the state. Daddy has the house decorated with Nazi memorabilia, and both mom and dad are crazy as shit house rats. The debate swirling around is really a moot point, since the state denies they took the kids based on their names. Still it begs the question should the kids be removed from their bunker based on the names. Are the names a form of abuse, and if so does that over ride the parents rights to free speech? I say Yes on both counts. Saddling a child with a name that is synonymous with the mass annihilation of entire bloodlines is abuse. Knowing that the child will face a lifetime of ridicule and ostracising based upon that name is abuse. You can't hinder someones right to "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness ", and claim protection under the first amendment. And if you think being named Adolf Hitler won't ruin this kids life, then you are as crazy as his parents.

Why would anyone become a teacher?

Parents of 65 students who failed to earn a passing grade in math, are raising hell over a letter sent to them by the teacher. She blames the mass failure, only 3 students passed, on behavior in the classroom. The parents are offended and pissed off that their children are being blamed for failing and bad behavior. They are offended by the "TONE" of the letter. These are the same parents who will blame everything and everyone under the sun for their own neglect and failure as parents. If a teacher touches their kid on the shoulder to remove him from the classroom, they will sue. They don't want an outsider disciplining the child, all the while refusing to do it themselves. They get pissed off at an educator and ignore the fact that their kids listen to rap music that glorifies all of societies ills. Guess what, I'm siding with the teacher on this one. That probably comes as no great surprise, given I have a history of pointing the finger at parents who don't do their job.

What I find telling is not that these parents are up in arms because their kids can't grasp remedial high school math, but because they are offended at being held to account through the actions of their children. It's always easier to blame the teacher, or the police, or anybody other than the people who are really to blame. I was hell on wheels from about the 4th grade on. I fought, got suspended, was constantly truant, a general disruptive force in the classroom, and a mean spirited little prick. My 5th grade teacher in an act of desperation, sat me at the back of the class and allowed me to read, ignoring the rest of my studies, so long as I shut up. Was it Mrs. Wagners fault that I was beyond her reach? Of course not, it was my fault and my parents by proxy since they were the authoritative voice in my upbringing. None of that means my parents were bad people or didn't love me, it just means they didn't control me despite their efforts. But I was an exception, most kids are salvageable, with guidance they can excel.

The school in this instance, made the teacher apologize and eat her words to placate the parents. In doing so the Ruskin School officials and the parents have done a huge disservice to this teacher and to the students. Maybe the solution will be to run out and buy some drums and bongos and turn the math class in to a cultural awareness seminar or some other silly bullshit that school districts tend to do when they don't have the back bone or where with all to do their job, which is to teach the children in their charge and to back the teachers charged with educating these little brats. It's really a good thing for kids to be aware of their roots, their cultural history, etc. , but if they don't know a square root from Roots, they will be left behind in the adult world.

I'm sure Ill catch some flack over the tone of this post and the fact that the majority if not all of the parents and kids are African American, while I am so white I'm almost clear, like that ever stopped me. Ruskin schools share several common threads with the Kansas City school district, the majority of the students are minorities, they don't back their teachers, they blame the teachers rather than the out of control students and ineffective parents, and they graduate barely functioning semi literate kids. If you want to know why there is an overabundance of ill educated, irresponsible, often criminal, African American youth, you need look no further than the schools and the parents. The parents want to blame their children's short comings on the world, on everyone but themselves, and the schools in this city are more than happy to placate the parents by pushing these kids through the system and out of their hair in as few years and with as little effort as possible.

Considering the fact that the number one cause of death for young African American males is Young African American Males, taking in to account the disproportionately large number of young African Americans in prison,considering the stats that tell us education is key to leading a productive life, maybe, just maybe, the parents and the schools should demand more. And by demand more, I mean, demand more from their children, and themselves, rather than lay blame at the feet of the people who honestly want to help. Rather than blame the teacher, or bitchin to channel 5 about some perceived insult, how about backing her up. How about taking some of that blame, how about teaching your child to be accountable. Either that or young Jimmy can look forward to a life filled with minimum wage jobs, prison food, or an untimely death. Young black and Latino kids already have the cards stacked against them, yet the parents keep dealing from the bottom of the deck, refusing to hold the kids and themselves accountable. Those kids deserve better, as do we all.

disclaimer*** Before someone has a knee jerk reaction and schools me on all of the wonderful people doing wonderful things for wonderful kids, I'm not talking about YOU. This commentary is directed at the parents in the story, and the like minded parents and school officials who perpetuate the sub standard education of kansas city schools, which have one of the highest drop out rates in the nation. You on the other hand, I'm sure your kids are perfect***

Thanks to Tony's Kansas City where I came across this story.

I wouldn't wear that coat around the jail.......

You know how you can just take one glance at someone and instantly don't like em ? Come on we all do it, we just don't all admit it. The instant I saw this nimrods pic on Crime scene KC, I didn't like him. After reading his story and then looking him up on Case Net I'd like to slap the taste out of his smarmy pie hole. His name is Edward D. Tseona, age 18, of Hughesville, MO, and there is more to young Edward than his Uber Douche Bag appearance. Edward was racing another car in his BMW and killed an innocent guy who was just trying to go home. The victim Gregory L. Hawley, age 50, of Independence was one of the founders of the Steamboat Arabia Museum in Kansas City's River Market area. He left behind a family including three children.

While tragic, the story isn't really uncommon, and to be honest I wasn't going to even comment on it. Then I read this comment in the Crime Scene KC section;

" Even though this story is shockingly sad, both parties were being irresponsible. Not wearing a seat belt is just as stupid as driving your car too fast.
To all the people that are calling Edward a brat and scum, I know Edward personally, and he is a very nice young man who works very very hard, and would never hurt anyone intentionally. While it was stupid for him to race, I think that living with the guilt for the rest of his life would be the hardest things of all. My deepest sympathies to Hawleys family and friends."

There is actually a whole dialogue going on in the comment section of this linked article, the debate; is the victim to blame for his death because he wasn't wearing a seat belt. Are you kidding me? That's like blaming a shooting victim for not wearing a Kevlar vest or for having the audacity to go out after dark. Just when I think I've heard it all, some moron blames the victim and takes up for the idiot who killed him. There has always been a surplus of mouth breathers who choose to blame the victim. She dressed like a whore, He shouldn't have been in that part of town, She ran with the wrong people, in other words they were asking for it. Now back to this Fast and Furious, little sisters coat wearing, pointy side burned, ass hat.

Contrary to what his supporter in the stars comment section says, Eddie is not a very nice boy who works hard and would never hurt anybody. Eddie just got a slew of tickets on New Years Day, 20 over the limit, no insurance, unregistered vehicle, just to name a few. He has eleven cases on case net, everything from driving infractions to taking game illegally. Is he John Dillinger, no of course not. Is he a good kid? Not by my definition. Best I can tell he is a self entitled little prick who robbed the Hawleys of a loved one, and deprived the victim of his life.

Judging from his smug expression he is none too upset over what he has done. Just look at the face, the eyes, there's nothing there, no regret or guilt or shame. Just a fucked up haircut and and a coat that looks like it belongs in the Jr's department.

Yeah I know, he is young, it could have happened to anybody. How many of us could have killed someone, or our kids could have, or.....blah blah. Outstanding argument, try telling it to the dead mans children.

You can find a very thoughtful first hand account by someone who was holding the hand of Mr. Hawley as he spent his last minutes on this earth. Go Here.

Bad seeds and the imaginary line........

We like to check up on old friends and people we knew back when. Most of you probably check Face Book, or My Space, or maybe Reunion.com. I check Dept of Corrections Inmate search pages and the Obituaries. While doing that very thing this weekend, I ran across a couple of guys I knew pretty well, one was a guy I considered a friend or as close as my old life allowed. The other guy I was anything but friends with. We will get back to these two in a minute.



People read some of the things I say and feel compelled to straighten me out, question my motives, point out where I'm wrong, and that's a good thing. I'm not knocking anyone for disagreeing with me, I will always welcome those comments and respect the opinions even if they differ from mine. Lately I've received some comments and a few emails taking me to task for my narrow views about young people who commit some pretty atrocious acts. The basic theme has been a lack of compassion on my part. A recent example would be the girl who decided to drown her newborn in the toilet. I got two emails calling me a hypocrite, an idiot, and a misogynist. I'll cop to the first two, but women have been busting my plums all my life and I'm still a fan. Some others felt that the baby killer wasn't totally to blame for what she did, that her environment and parents were culpable. The gist being that she wasn't born a killer, circumstance made her one. Now back to those two guys in the first paragraph.



I met Tony about 6 months in to my bit, he was a tall, awkward kid from Springfield Missouri. I'm pretty sure he was doing his time for auto theft. He was one of those guys that could still go either way when he got out. I always figured he would get out, get a job, raise his kids and be none the worse for his experience. Unfortunately I was wrong. I found him on the Missouri dept. of Corrections website. He is in the Crossroads in Cameron serving a life sentence. Seems he was out for a few years and became a chemist and consumer of his own product. On Google I found an appeal he filed which gave me a little more info. Long story short he took a shot at a cop and that's all she wrote.

The second guy I knew back in the 80's, and already knew he was locked up. Kevin is serving a federal Life sentence for murder and an ongoing criminal conspiracy or Rico act. The reason I stumbled upon him was because he is still filing appeals even though he has been locked up since 1990. His appeal is here. Kevin had a short career as a professional boxer, maybe 10 fights. He got his start in tough man competitions, which he won a few of. He was always a mean spirited prick, so he fell naturally in to his role that would earn him an all day long life sentence. He ended up killing a big time weed dealer. The details of his crime are in the appeal and its worth a read just for the back stabbing that goes on between the cast of characters. The long and short of it is that Keven killed the dealer so his boss wouldn't have to pay him. Keven's boss also tried to get another guy to kill Keven after he killed the dealer to make it look like a drug deal gone bad. High drama, and a good example of the snakes that populated the drug business.

Both of these guys came from decent families. They were both average or better intelligence. They both committed reprehensible acts. The thing is they made choices, one tried to shoot a cop and one killed someone for 10 grand.They had something in them that bypassed that small voice that tells us dont do it, that taking a life isn't like taking a car or beating up a guy for not paying his drug debt. Much like This Guy who I knew and wrote about, the live of others was something to be traded for their own gain. We like to explain away the really horrible shit that people do by blaming it on environment, poor parenting, poverty, lack of breast feeding , or countless other excuses. Excuses is the key word.

People want to believe that humans are somehow above acting on primal urges, that our humanity prevents us from taking a life simply because it suits a purpose. When they are proven wrong time and again, they fall back on the excuses I listed earlier. These people while well intentioned usually are clueless. They haven't lived with the type of people who place so little value on the lives of others. If they ever brush up on one of these types, if someone kills or harms one of their family or friends the attitude and sympathy suddenly dissolve. The person they once considered a victim of their childhood or mental illness becomes a rabid dog deserving death or life in prison. It's all a matter of perspective.

I've got my own theory. I think some of us are just born bad. Something is missing, the wiring is all fucked up. A battalion of shrinks and social workers cant fix whats broken. There is a line that most of us wont cross, we wont kill just because we can, or because we want to. Some of us can cross that line without hesitation or concern over the consequences. It doesn't matter if the line is crossed at 30 or 16, once its crossed there is no going back, there is no making amends or redemption. Some of us just need to be put away or put down. Both of these guys fall under that category, so did the girl who killed her child. Prison is full of people who would kill you just because, and they also walk among us. It's easy to try to blame it on circumstance and environment until they reach out and touch someone close to you, or you personally. Then all bets are off and the psychiatric theories and compassion disappear.

Must be something in the spaghetti O's.

Babysitter steps on 4 year old boys foot. Four year old tells the babysitter to get out of the family trailer house. Babysitter ignores the tyke, who by the way, ain't hardly bullshittin. Junior heads to the closet, snatches up a shotgun and pops a cap in the babysitters ass. That home alone kid doesn't have a thing on this baby gangsta. What is even better is the boys fathers reaction. Here it is.

As if that wasn't crazy enough, a first grader was sent to the principals office because his pants were sagging. While one of the staff is helping the kid pull his pants up, a 45.cal pistol slips from his waistband slides down his leg, and scares the bejesus out of the people in the office. Cops later arrest the boys father and another scumbag with another illegal pistol. Read that story here.

The only question remaining is which of these tykes would come out on top in a gunfight. Give em a few more years and we may find out. All is not lost however, when these two kids turn out to be as backward and worthless as their parents, there will be a long line of folks who blame it on society, and the usual litany of excuses. You know the drill; Let's lay the blame on everyone else.

Playing the card................

This is a very sad case,” Gallagher told the newspaper. “I think it is particularly tragic that this girl had so little support that she wasn’t able to recognize any other option than what happened.” This pearl of wisdom and compassion comes from Port Angeles Washington Police Chief Gallagher who was commenting on the arrest of a 16 year old girl who " “put her baby face down into a toilet and allowed it to drown for several minutes until it died. Then she threw her son into the trash can outside in a plastic garbage bag.” They also popped her father for Meth and Felon in Possession of a firearm, but back to the statement made by the Chief. There is a common thread that repeats itself from time to time in the media when some young kid commits some incomprehensible crime. People want to give them a pass, remove accountability for their actions and lay it at the foot of the piss poor parent, or society, or poverty, or race, or any one of a countless litany of excuses.

Unlike Chief Gallagher I think it's particularly tragic that this heartless little bitch was able to snuff out the life she just brought in the world as if it were a goldfish she had grown tired of. The fact that her father was a scumbag has zero relevancy. What I find tragic is that she felt murder was preferable over a quick drive to the nearest hospital or police station to give the kid a chance in life, one that she probably got short changed on . I also find it tragic that an increasingly growing attitude in society is to excuse the ever more common atrocities committed by our children. From teen girls killing their newborns, to young inner city thugs who pick up a gun and spray bullets that often find more innocents as their target, society wants to give them a pass, or at least soften the edges of harsh reality by blaming it on some One or some Thing other than the killer.

As the story unfolds we will undoubtedly hear how this 16 year old killer came from an abusive background. The defense will lay the blame at the foot of the dope fiend father, or family services, or MTV, or video games, blame someone or something other than the killer. It's how we roll in this country. Avoiding accountability is a national past time. I believe it is also a contributing factor to the all to common incomprehensible acts committed by our young. It sends the message that you can do anything, and it's not your fault, just play the card.

Being poor, illiterate, abused, having absentee landlords for parents, growing up in the ghetto, being exposed to gang violence at an early age, and assorted other societal ills do contribute to how we turn out. I don't mean to discount any of those factors. They are real, and most people who commit crimes can point out at least one of those factors as contributing to the way they turned out. But once you cross the line, when you rape, or murder someone, those factors just become an excuse, they are no longer relevant. You lose the right to play the " blame it on someone else" card. You just become another scumbag taking up everyone else air.

When good parents go stupid.

A small group of parents in JoCo stood outside a middle school yesterday protesting after district leaders suddenly told their children not to report for class Monday. The best I can decipher it, the kids were in a special needs school and were told they would be going to the regular school, due to an unforeseen high enrollment the parents were told the kids wouldn't be able to attend that school. The parents are pissed, which is a reasonable reaction, so they decided to protest. Someone told the local news stations who came ready with cameras, filmed the protest and stuck it on the news. So far so good right? Wrong. The parents in their infinite wisdom decided to bring at least a couple of the kids along to hold signs while school buses drove past them and the cameras filmed them. I'd like to be the first to congratulate these chowder heads for ensuring that their children will be ostracised, singled out, and ridiculed . Unless JoCo kids are somehow less kid like, they are going to be merciless. Newsflash , kids can be cruel, especially when it comes to another kid being "Different".

When I was a kid, probably in second or third grade, there was this fat kid named Joey Jekyll, his real name. Every day after school he could be found trudging down Oak st heading home. He always walked alone, head down, shoulders hunched over, it was almost like he was trying to draw up and hide inside himself like a turtle. Kids can be pretty fucking brutal when they put their minds to it, so it should come as no surprise that Joey was the target of more than his share of bullying and ridicule. I remember a day when I was walking with a couple of other kids and we crossed Joey's path. One of the boys I was with started mimicking Joey, mocking him. He had this funny voice, sort of like Peter Lorie, the guy who played Igor in the old Frankenstein movies. When kids teased him Joey would always say the same thing " Leave me alone", every word was drawn out so it came out in that nasal voice as Leeeeeve Meeeee Aloooooone. As I write this it dawned on me that those three words are the only thing I recall ever hearing him say.

I usually just laughed along with the others, but never really said or did anything to him myself. For some reason, on that particular day, I decided to join in and mock this poor, fat, lonely kid.
It was also the day Joey decided he had had enough of the bullshit, and he cracked me in the head with his lunchbox. Joey didn't have the typical 1960's era lunchbox with The Monkees or GI Joe decorating the thin metal box. Joey had one of those heavy gauge metal lunch boxes that your dad or uncle would carry. So when Joey dropped the hammer and peeled my melon for me with that lunchbox, it got my attention. It hurt, it stunned me, and when my buddies snickered it pissed me off. By the time the shock of getting whacked in the head by this mild mannered kid wore off, he was a good 20 paces in front of me. With a wounded ego, and the sound of the other little shit heels laughter egging me on, I caught up to Joey, grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. I heard "Leeeeeve Meeeee Alooooone", and then I saw where the tears had left streaks on his pudgy face. The bruised ego was replaced with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I let him go. I never bothered him again, but the damage was done.

So whats my point and why couldn't I make it quicker? My point is these parents have every right to fight tooth and nail for what they believe is in the best interest of their children. What they shouldn't do is drag the kid out in public and parade them around in front of news cameras. They have done more harm than good. If their kids do get moved to the regular school you can bet your milk money they are going to have a tough row to hoe.

Breaking News ! ! ! ! Idaho Russet Potatoes are on sale!!!

I don't recall who coined this phrase about Kansas City, in fact I can't even quote it verbatim but it goes something like "The city with the small town feeling" or some such shit. If you tell someone on the east or west coast you are from Kansas City, you will get the obligatory Dorothy and Toto reference. Even people who hail from KC like to refer to it as a cow town. I generally take exception to that kind of talk, but it's hard to argue the point when the biggest news story O the Day is the opening of a grocery store, or a waiter getting a big tip. Fox 4 has been reporting the grand opening of a downtown grocery store for the past month. With the grand opening taking place tomorrow Fox 4 has run the downtown grocery store piece a dozen times since last night. They did a man on the street interview with some guy who said it was about time they put a grocery store in the downtown area, the 5 minute drive to a midtown grocery was just too arduous. Not to mention he might be accosted by some crazy midtown wino bumming change or asking for a smoke.

My point in all of this is a trend that seems to be taking over of late. The local media seems to be content to serve up fluffy feel good horse shit in place of actual news. Fox 4 for example is more like an infomercial than an actual news source. In a city rife with crime, where murders are commonplace, where the city government is waging a war over an inept mayor and his nut job wife, instead of tending to the business of running the city, is a grocery store opening really the best they can come up with? Tkc linked a story from the Star about a cat killed in a house fire, which is a pretty good example of the direction the local media is heading in. It won't surprise me to awaken some day and find that the Star has been taken over by it's shallow, Valtrex snorting, stepchild Ink KC. Soon the news will be reduced to one fluffy story after the other. We will have to get our news from blogs and the few actual News related sites like Crime Scene Kansas City.

As a side note, Fox just ran the grocery store story, which I refuse to link, for the 4th time in the 20 minutes I've been sitting here pecking this out. I'll be back tomorrow with something a little less boring and it definitely won't be a fluffy feel good thing, I'll leave that to the professionals.