Fast Eddie Friday...

The waldo rapist is big news around these parts. For you out of town readers here is a little rundown to fill you in. Waldo is a middle class area of Kansas City. I grew up on the far south end of Waldo, although they have yet to put up one of those blue signs saying, Waldo, birthplace of Mark Smith the Midtown Miscreant. Waldo is a middle/working class neighborhood, mostly white, relatively low crime. It's a good place to live, although it's not as affordable as it once was when I was a pup. No way a single mother of 3, making a waitress or medical assistant wage could afford a house in waldo today. There have been 4 rapes in the area in the last year, 2 of which took place in the last few weeks or so. The cops believe it's the same creep in all of the crimes. Folks in the area are naturally a little spooked by it all, and the local media is definitely helping to kick shit up a notch or three. The whole thing is reminiscent of the Westport Rapist spree that occurred back in the 80's. Turns out there were 4 rapists that got that title. I was living in midtown then, and I can recall the panic and tension.

Back to the Waldo Rapist. The cops released a sketch of the guy and the following description: Black Male, pockmarked face, smooth deep voice, smells like exhaust fumes, and has really bad breath. The local media is running stories about folks in the area who think they have seen the guy, one resident even believes he gave the suspect some money after some cockamamie story about locking himself out of his house. Most people are assuming the victims were white, myself included, if the rapes occurred around 39th and Prospect, I'd assume they were black. While the race of the victims hasn't been given, it's a fairly safe assumption. So we have a black guy with Barry Whites voice, Edward James Olmos pores, who smells like he has been eating shit sandwiches while standing behind a running car. And we have the police sketch, which rarely ever looks much like the guy they end up catching.


Enter Kansas City's busiest and most controversial blogger, Tony's Kansas City. The title of his post:

BLATANT RACISM MARKS KANSAS CITY'S HUNT FOR THE WALDO RAPIST!!!

Tony contends that white folks in Waldo, business owners in the area, and the Media have shown little concern for crime in the urban core, and are only concerned when crime comes to waldo, or if the victim is white, or a white woman. Naturally he is getting inundated with comments calling him a douche, a racist, an idiot, and some other shit, that is, well, kind of racist. There are two sides to every argument, so let's take a look shall we.
Tony is correct when he says that there is a lack of concern from the general, read white, public when it concerns crime in the urban core. That doesn't exactly make folks in Waldo, or any other majority white area, racist. I haven't noticed any coverage in the African American paper The Call on the Waldo rapes. That doesn't make the paper racist, it just makes them detached from their neighbors. People in Waldo are mostly detached from crime in the urban core as well.


Anyone who reads TKC, and a lot of people do, even though they might deny it, TKC readers know that Tony writes from a minority angle. I mean to say, he sees things through a different set of eyes than your average middle class white person. Doesn't make him racist, although he tends to say things in a way that could lead one to assume he is at times. Hey, I've been called a racist cracker on more than a few occasions myself. I'm not, but you won't ever convince the people who think I am. I'm not here to defend Tony, he's been stirring the soup pot long enough, he knew the reaction his post would garner, which is why he entitled it as he did.
Just as White folks from Waldo are removed from the harsh reality in the urban core, Tony is a little distanced from your average middle class white person in Waldo. He writes from a minority perspective, so he tends to see race and entitlement where it may not be applicable. As much as I like Tony and appreciate his bloggy efforts, and agree with him more often than not, this is one of those times I think he has over reached.


The ongoing slaughter of young black males, by other young black males, is as far removed from the Waldo rapes , as the Gap is from Harold Penners. Just as the Gap and HP's are clothing outlets, inner city crime and the Waldo rapes are both horrific criminal acts. And that's where all similarities end.

Shootings on the east side are as regular as bus stops.
Crime in Waldo, especially violent crime is not nonexistant, but it's not particularly common. That's why people want to live there. It's safe.

People in Waldo are taking a pro active stand against these crimes.
Folks on the east side have also taken a stand, but they also have to contend with a community that in large part refuses to report crimes. Even anonymously, a large part of the African American community refuses to cooperate. There have been multiple shootings on the east side, where dozens of witnesses refused to cooperate.

The difference in the Waldo rapes isn't racial, it's deeper than race. Reporting crime and cooperating with the police in Waldo will get you a slap on the back and a micro brew in a Wornall bar.
Reporting a crime and cooperating with police on the east side can get you killed, maybe get someone you love killed in the bargain. Still it can be done in anonymity, and it just doesn't happen, people won't talk.

The important thing to remember here, be it another black kid gunned down before he is drinking age, or the life altering violation of a rape victim, violent crime in this city hurts everyone in the end. Most of us don't really react to a thing, until that thing touches close to home. I'd be willing to bet that most folks who go on those Breast Cancer Walks never even considered it until they or a loved one was touched by the disease. We all have an "it will never happen to me or mine" attitude. When something does happen, we suddenly have an awakening, a reality check.

Does the media tend to go overboard when reporting a horrific crime in an area not normally affected by crime? You bet.
Does the media adopt a less urgent tone when another black kid takes a bullet? Absolutely.
But that's not the fault of people in waldo, any more than the folks on the east side are to blame for a black guy raping women in Waldo.


The reaction of the Waldo residents and businesses is a good thing, it should be applauded. And not for nothin, but maybe folks on the east side should take note. If there is a bone to pick, it's not with waldo residents. The bone to pick is with a media that takes a more urgent tone depending on where a crime happens. The bone to pick is with a large percentage of folks who never see a thing, turn the other way, and won't be bothered to drop an anonymous tip. The cops can only solve crimes if people cooperate. That's whats taking place in Waldo, and what doesn't take place enough on the east side.

Have a safe weekend. Be sure to make it back in one piece on Monday. I've got a great story in the works.

Man sets himself on fire for his furry friends.

The lengths some animal rights activists will go to in order to further, The Cause, is a hot topic around here. It's an especially hot topic in Portland, where a former Kansas resident doused himself in gasoline, lit himself on fire, and tried unsuccessfully to enter a fur store. Because nothing says commitment like turning yourself into a human fire ball. The man who set himself ablaze was mentally unbalanced, and a perfect target for extremist animal rights activists. Yes I said target. Already the whack jobs are coming out of the woodwork to praise the now dead guy as some kind of modern day Martyr. News reports say that animal rights groups have protested outside Ungar Furs for some time now . In 2007 Shumacher Fur was forced out of business by the same group, or some like minded clowns. Shumacher has a website documenting the ongoing shenanigans of a group of Vegan Hipster Militant Douche Bags, or as I like to refer to them, Adults still living off Mom and Dads money. Click here for the website . In the side bar are links to videos showing greasy hipsters in the nude, and generally acting like 12 year olds. It's a real hoot, I highly recommend it.


While a normal person might take issue with raising animals just for fur, those same normal people would no doubt be appalled by naked hippy types running around on city streets to protest. Keep in mind these are not PETA type naked people, you won't find an Alicia Silverstone or even a Pam Anderson in the videos linked above. These are 20 something women with 60 something fun bags. It's not a pretty sight, but I promise you won't be able to look away. All snarkiness and tit jokes aside, the incident in Portland gives proof to the danger of groups like the Animal Liberation Front, and our own home grown shit heel, Jason Miller. These self proclaimed Vegan Anarchists aren't crazy, they might free some rabbits, or pour cows blood on their heads, but you won't catch one of them imitating a bonfire in skinny jeans. What they do, and where they are truly dangerous is in their rhetoric. They encourage unstable people to do irrational shit. So you get what we got in Portland. A mentally unbalanced guy, committing a clearly insane and irrational act. While Animal Anarchist douche bags cream their skinny jeans and hemp undies over a human fireball, a family in Kansas is left to bury the charred remains on their unstable son.


Let me just state for the record, Fur Farms should be a thing of the past. Raising an animal for just the fur is cruel. A cow on the one hand is going to be eaten anyway, so you might as well use the leather, they make dandy coats and shoes. Raising a mink or a fox on the other hand just so some doofus can run around looking like a good robbery target in his or her ridiculous coat, is in my opinion more than a little fucked up. That said, I'm not going to douse myself in flammable petro products, or run naked through the streets of Kansas City. Lucky you. If it's legal, then anyone should be able to freely wear whatever they choose, without worrying that some patchouli wearer is going to get all up in their koolaid.

Everyone knows you have to be high to eat gubmint cheese.

Five Republican state senators want to crack down on welfare recipients addicted to drugs, by requiring them to submit to a drug test in order to get taxpayer assistance. Sounds reasonable, yes? I mean, we all know that anyone on welfare is just living the high life, watching Judge Joe Brown and Oprah, buying steak and shrimp with food stamps, and smoking copious amounts of high quality weed. Right? Well , not exactly.


Here's the skinny on the proposal. The proposals would only apply to recipients of cash assistance through Temporary Assistance for Needy Families, a federal program administered by the state. So, including food stamps, just how much does a single mother of 2 children get each month? 379 bucks a month, toss in food stamps for a whopping total of 750 bucks a month. Not for nothin, and not that I actually know anything about it, but good weed costs 300 to 400 an ounce. Shits not cheap, even Mexican shwag will run 100 plus an ounce. Toss in liquor and the occasional crack or meth binge, and there is no way in hell a person on welfare can afford to go on drug fueled binges or blaze the chronic 24/7. At least not on welfare money.

Oh snap, there goes this double M doofus on another unintelligible rant.

Hang in there imaginary italicized guy, I'm going somewhere with this.

One of the Republican sponsors of the bill, Stouffer, R-Napton, said taxpayers "are tired of being taken advantage of" by drug-addicted welfare recipients who they believe use their money to buy drugs.
Let's all say it together kids, Pandering to and playing off the fears of your constituency will get you reelected. The people who have proposed this, at first glance, seemingly reasonable measure, haven't produced any hard facts about the number of welfare recipients who abuse drugs, or the prevalence of substance abuse financed by tax dollars. Instead they offer up this bill based on as they call it " what folks believe".


Like most of you I'll admit that I've often assumed that welfare recipients are taking advantage of the system, and I believe, there's the B word again, I believe there is some abuse, that said, Tanf assistance is really about caring not for the adults, but the children of those adults. So lets say we run out and drop urine tests on every family who gets 8 or 9 grand a year in assistance through various programs. Lets assume, based on popular belief, that 1/3 come back dirty. Now lets snatch those bennies from them. So we now have a drug addicted, meth or crack smoking, blunt puffing, single parent with no source of income to feed, cloth, or shelter her 2 kids. If we continue on in our hypothesized belief game, we now have kids who were already living below poverty level, now completely off the grid. And if the parent is in fact a drug addict, where do you think any money is going to go?


My point is, even a shitty system is better than nothing when it comes to putting food in mouths and roofs over heads, especially where children are concerned. If the people trying to pass this unenforceable bill where really concerned, if they really wanted to save their constituency from doling out tax money for public assistance, one would think they would go the route of addressing the underlying causes of the problem. Teen pregnancy, fatherless homes, education.
Rather than address what people believe, which is based not so much on data or facts, but prejudice and hype, maybe we should look at ways to make these women rise above their lot in life. TANF assistance is limited to 60 months. How about limiting it to 24 or 36 months, require the mother to get a GED and some vocational training? How about requiring some form of birth control while on assistance? Maybe if we address the core problems, just maybe the young woman who made some seriously piss poor choices can turn it around. And just maybe she can instill her children with core beliefs and values that will equip them to avoid the pitfalls that lead to the revolving door of poverty and public assistance. Call me a fuckin loon, but we might see a drop in gang violence, street crime, drug abuse, high dropout rates, the list goes on.


We can go one of two routes here. We can try to placate the section of society who thinks folks are living high on the tax payer hog, or we can try to fix the underlying cause of the real problem. For once, this isn't an issue of race. The highest rate of welfare recipients is found in rural areas, more white folks than black. The actual current numbers are hard to find, but as best I can tell it's a 60/40 split white vs black.


You can argue that people on welfare don't want to get ahead, they are content sitting on their collective ass. I'm sure that is a partial truth, in some cases. But really, how comfortable of a life can you be leading at 750 a month? Would requiring single mothers to further their education solve the welfare problem? Not completely, but it's a pretty good start. while we are at it, maybe if we forced the clowns who don't have the sense to slip on a Jimmy cover, to pay for the kids they father and forget, that might also help the problem. Politicians like to pander to our fears, or mistaken beliefs, our ingrained prejudice. It's effective, and it's a whole lot easier than fixing the real problem. When you think about it, both sides of the political coin play a part in the issue. The liberals make it easy to stay poor, and the right point out what deadbeats poor folk are. It's a win win, at least for them.

Fast Eddie Friday...Fast and Loose,

This is only my second post for the week, I wish I had a better excuse than apathy and a shitty work ethic when it comes to this blog, but I don't. What I can do to make up for my absence is try to piss off and offend as many people as possible. I'll do my best.

Speaking of pissing people off, the people who brought us the statue of Liberty, snail eating, pencil mustaches, berets, and horizontally striped shirts, have proven yet again that we saved them from a life of speaking German and eating kraut, only to have them repeatedly bite us in the ass every time we turn around. The United Nations must investigate and clarify the dominant U.S. role in earthquake-ravaged Haiti, a French minister said Monday, claiming that international aid efforts were about helping Haiti, not "occupying" it. And there it is, another smarmy french prick complaining because we had the poor taste to try and help someone out. He isn't alone, Hugo Chavez is right there in agreement with him. When you find yourself aligned with Hugo Chavez, it's time to reassess your point of view. Considering the french once circled the island of Haiti with warships, demanding reparations for slaves they lost during Haiti's independence maybe French Cooperation Minister Alain Joyandet should make like a mime and shut his snail hole. We feed the world with one hand, while they busy themselves biting the other, frankly it gets a little old.

While I'm on the subject of Haiti, I might as well go for a double. Over the weekend, at least 3 of the local TV news outlets ran a continuous loop of a teary eyed group of white folks greeting some newly adopted Haitian kids, who couldn't understand a word they were saying, and were clearly more than a little freaked out over the news crews and strange white people who were passing them around like puppies.

Gee double M, that's a shitty thing to say.

Not really. These people were going on about how it had taken years to get these kids adopted, they chose to give interviews and parade these kids around, so they are fair game. Here's my problem. As best I can tell from the stats to be found on line, there were 10,000 kids in Missouri foster care, half of those were looking for permanent homes, about half of those were African American. In my mind there is something a little twisted in adopting a kid from Haiti, or China, or any country, when we have American kids who need homes and families. When you feel the need to show everyone the great humanitarian you are by parading around in front of multiple news crews with your latest dark skinned designer adoptee, while simultaneously scaring the kids shitless, it makes me think your newly arrived kids are more of a status symbol than a new family member. You want to be Brangelina, you want to show everyone what a great person you are, while ignoring the plight of similar children who were born and bred on U S soil, don't be surprised when some prick like me points out the obvious. I'm not saying they are horrible people, I am saying there is something fundamentally wrong when you go out of your way to import orphans from foreign soil, while we have an abundance of them here at home.

High school rivalries are nothing new. Even though I spent only a few hours inside the halls of Southwest High back in the stone age, I'm no stranger to the fierce dislike one schools student body can have for another. Eggs might end up being thrown, mascots desecrated, and an occasional fist fight might ensue. Word is that Hickman and Ruskin High Schools are going to be combined. Parents and students are none too pleased. They worry that there will be violence. Considering some student was caught with a loaded handgun at Ruskin last week, I'd say the fears are justified. Of course the parents and students are blaming the schools. Considering Ruskin has lost 1500 students over a 10 year stretch, bearing in mind that some punk was caught with a loaded pistol in the school, and taking into account that there was a major brawl between the schools last year, maybe the parents and students should look in the mirror. While the schools are definitely to blame in part for the demise of their districts, there is also a fair share of blame that should be taken on by parents whose children pack guns to school and have major brawls at sporting events. Much like the beleaguered K C school district, Ruskin and Hickman only share partial blame, parents who let their kids run buck wild need to take some heat as well.

Okay, I'm done. Have a safe weekend, see you back here on Monday, or Tuesday, or whenever I get around to it.

Stick to dog stories Gus.........Crime ain't your bag.

There was a time when my favorite columnist at the KC star was C.W. Gusewelle. He would write these heartfelt sentimental pieces about his dogs. I'm a sucker for a good dog story, and Gus was the go to guy for dog stories, he slung em like a street corner crack dealer, a seemingly unending supply of aging bird dogs and long contemplative walks in autumn woods. Now he seems to be headed in a different direction, his latest opus, crime and guns. He should stick to dogs. Not for nothin, but you can't write about crime, toss out a few stats, and leave out the more important ones, and still come away with any credibility.

Gusewelle wrote a Sunday column about registering guns, inner city crime, and prayer vigils. It was probably the worst piece of writing on those subjects I've ever read. The title of the story,

Register guns to take aim at urban crisis.

He starts out with population statistics of big cities, New York and L.A., comparing their per capita homicide rates to Kansas City. He surmises we are a more deadly city. Then he throws out the statistic about handguns being responsible for 90 percent of the murders in KC. Which came as a total surprise to me, I always thought most killings were carried out with potato guns or sling shots. Then he throws out the age group most likely to be killed, 16 to 34. He avoids mentioning race, he goes out of his way to never write one single word that mentions race. He also never bothers to explain how registering legal guns, which are by and large already registered, will reduce the murder rate in the urban core. Normally this would be the point where I ridicule and mock Gusewell, but I'm still in my transitional period, so I'm going to help him out.

I won't bother digging around the FBI crime stats, I don't need to. What Gus didn't mention in his half ass attempt at crime writing, those 16 to 34 year old murder victims are almost exclusively black. Rule number one, if you are going to write about crime, you can't pick and choose which stats to toss in, and which one to leave out. Young black men are overwhelmingly the victims and the perpetrators, of the majority of killings in this city, hell in any city, except maybe Ogden Utah or Marlow Oklahoma. I'm not sure if Gus was trying to avoid offending the African American community, or didn't want to scare his mostly white, mostly aged readers. The latter group by the way is more likely to be killed by someone who is also white.
Gusewell isn't alone when it comes to fear of offending. Just watch the local news, they will run a story about a robbery or killing, maybe a rape. They will rattle off the guys height, weight, what he was wearing, what he drove away in, but they will avoid mentioning what color his skin is. They are afraid of offending, but the description is kind of pointless if you don't know the perps skin color.


Nobody wants to be called a racist, accept maybe Neo Nazis and Klansmen. But you can't write about a subject like the K C homicide rate, throw out some hand picked stats while avoiding the most pertinent statistic, and expect to be taken seriously. Not only is it spineless, it's a disservice to the community as a whole, and more importantly it's an insult to the community who is being hit the hardest. If you happen to be called a racist for stating facts, then so be it, but at least you can say you were honest in your writing. The truth is you won't be called a racist, except by people who read race in to every syllable uttered by white folks. The truth is, the African American community is well aware of who is doing all the killing. Last I checked, there wasn't a gang of JoCo middle managers, riding on the east side in leased starter BMW's, spraying bullets, while wearing non wrinkle dockers and Tom Mcann loafers.


Gus also needs to understand that the majority of guns used in the majority of murders, in any city, are illegally obtained. They buy them on the street, the come from burglaries, drug trades. These guns, the ones that kill that 16 to 34 age group, they aren't being packed by card carrying NRA members. They are illegal weapons, obtained illegally, and carried illegally. Pussy footing around these facts doesn't change them. So say it with me Gus. The majority of the murders in this city are committed by young black men, the victims are more often than not young black men. The guns used to carry out the crime are usually stolen, or obtained illegally. Your common street thug could give a shit where that gun came from, and he has no compunction about killing someone. The problem isn't that guns need to be registered a second time. The problem is the mentality of the people doing the killing.


Some white investment bankers are responsible for the majority of white collar crime. Some young black men are responsible for the high murder rate in this city. These are facts, and facts don't kill people, people kill people, and if you happen to be a young black male in this city, and god forbid you happen to be killed, it's most likely going to be at the hands of another young black male. Stating that fact does not a racist make, dancing around it is shoddy journalism at best, and only helps the politically correct feel a false sense of superiority over everyone else. Stick to what you know Gus. Old Yeller you know, writing about crime, not so much.

Fast Eddie Friday.....Fast, Loose, and Offensive.

The disaster in Haiti is bringing out the best and worst in people. I'm not going to go all Pat Robertson or Rush Limbaugh on you, but I'm also not going to repeat the standard politically correct wringing of the hands commentary. It goes without saying that people are acting all outraged and shocked that Limbaugh and Robertson have spouted some insensitive shit. But lets be real here, these two clowns have made millions saying outrageous shit. Deals with the devil and Jabs at Obama aside, the reaction to the disaster does raise if not questions, at least it makes one wonder at the speed and urgency in which the world has reacted. Here in the U.S. people have donated more than 5 million in 10 dollar increments alone. Major U S corporations have pledged millions. We have Military ships in the area, the rest of the world is rushing to help out. It's a mess over there, I read one article where some pissed off Haitians stacked bodies in the middle of the road as a road block. It's going to get ugly over there. Now don't get me wrong, it's good that people are helping, I'm proud our country is lending a hand, but I've got to ask, how many of these U S companies who are pledging millions helped out during Katrina? How many of the people who have donated that 5 million in record time, also gave so freely and expediently during Katrina? Maybe I'm just looking at the world through smudged glasses, but we seem to be quick to help the world, but here at home, not so much. Lets not forget how long it took to get some water to people in New Orleans. And New Orleans is still a mess today. The U S has pledged 100 million to the Haiti effort, yet we still have people displaced from their homes after Katrina. And how much did all these different companies like UPS, pledge during the Katrina disaster? How many countries rushed to our aid? My point? We rush to rescue the world, but what about here at home? I'm not saying we shouldn't help when disaster strikes abroad, I'm just saying we should be as vigilant and compassionate here at home.


On a brighter note, Larry baby oil Booker is back in the news. Booker is the dry skin sufferer who keeps getting busted for running around swathed in oils and ointments, in various stages of undress. He has been busted 3, count em, 3 times. Twice in front of daycare centers, and another time in Lenexa, where one witness described him as very shiny, he was covered in corn oil that time. Anyway, Booker failed to show up for a probation revocation hearing, a warrant has been issued, and we will see if he manages to slip through local cops grasp for long.


I'm going to have to cut this short, I've got an appointment at The V A med center. I'd just as soon smash my balls with a mallet than to walk in to that giant bacteria frappe, but what can you do. Hopefully nobody will hack up a ball of Ebola on me. Have a safe weekend, see ya Monday.

Way down in the hole.........

Hole time. The prison boss in the Movie Cool Hand Luke called it "Gettin your mind right". I did a 10 day stint in the hole the first year in to my bit. My mind wasn't wrong, and the 10 days never made it more right than it already was. I got in a little scuffle on the handball court, a couple of punches were thrown, the guard in the tower called it in. We played it off, nobody got locked up right away, the disciplinary hearing officer gave us both 10 days to think it over, 3 months after the fact. It wasn't a big deal, just a part of the life. You go in, you while away the hours, you do push ups, you burp the nephew, you try to remember every woman you ever slept with, you read the bible front to back because that's the only book you are allowed, you write long rambling letters if you have someone to send them to, you do push ups, you pace, you burp the nephew some more. Then you are out and it's over, like it never happened.

Going to the hole is the end result of getting caught doing something you shouldn't be doing, or finding yourself in a situation that leaves you a limited set of options. It's a part of prison life, and one you either never experience, if you do you try to not repeat it, or you spend repeated trips there. Unless you are like one of the guys in yesterdays post, hole time is just one aspect of prison, like parking tickets in the free world, a minor inconvenience. If you are smart, you come out of the hole, you do your time to yourself for the most part, you lose yourself in the day to day routine, you get in to a rhythm, you do your bit. Serving time in prison is all about your mindset, and I've always maintained there are 3 different mindsets, how you chose to do the time.

The Convict:
There are guys who are professional convicts. They were piss poor criminals, they got caught more than they got away. You could tell a recidivist convict the second he hit the yard on his latest new arrival. It was like reunion for them. They would walk over to the picnic table where all of the other Cons in their clique sat, the ones they had done multiple bits with. Even the walk, the gait, the posture, gave these guys up as Convicts. They have that certain complexion, covered in blue green ink, the skin grayish white, like old bone, after months of county lock up. Slaps on the back, maybe a little package, couple of matchboxes of weed, some groceries, an old school con welcome home. Within a week, or a day the guy is back in to whatever small hustle he had prior to his brief stint back on the bricks. He would get a new tatt gun, or have his wife mule balloons filled with weed or tar when she came to visit with the four or five kids the guy somehow managed to father in between prison sentences. Prison was home, and they found a modicum of success there, one that eluded them in the criminal or square world on the outside. These were the guys who couldn't be reached, the ones that movie boss deemed needing to get their "minds right". The hard core recidivists, the group the statistics show returning over and over. The reason for a large portion of recidivism, the guys who return over and over, they come back because they want to come back. As hard as that is to wrap your mind around, it's a true story.

The Degenerate:
Dope fiends, persistent DUI offenders, sex offenders, square world guys who maybe decided the wife was worth more dead, but never counted on the hit man they met online being a cop. It's a mixed bag of prisoners who either lived their lives mostly in the square world, and due to a particular vice, be it drugs, greed, or some kind of sex thing, find themselves standing before the bench. You can find these guys over at the bank of phones, they practically lived on them. They believe they are victims, the judge didn't understand, they don't belong here with these other people, these animals. Even when they aren't on the phone with that barely controlled look of panic, they are easy to spot. They look down, they look out of the corner of their eyes a lot. It's called looking out of the side of your neck, like a person who is afraid of dogs won't make eye contact with them, for fear of being bitten. They are walking targets for the first group. The wildebeests with the lame leg caught separated from the rest of the herd.

The Kappa:
No it's not a fraternity. It's a tag, an identifier used by some prison systems. The first group, the Convicts, in a Missouri prison would be identified as Alpha's. When the institution assigns you a cell house they use the Alpha, Kappa, Sigma, system, at least in Missouri, the Feds have a different way of doing the same thing, but for this post, we'll use the Missouri system. You don't put a Sigma, which would be one of the Wildebeests from group 2, in a cell house full of Alpha's. It would be like pricking a hemophiliac with a straight pin a couple hundred times and tossing them in shark infested waters.

Back to group 3, the Kappa. Most Kappa's are career criminals, but with at least some degree of success. They aren't happy to be in prison, they just want to walk the bit down, so they can get back out to the streets. Be it fraud, selling drugs, steal cars, whatever. They don't have a violent history, they don't go out of their way looking for trouble, and they don't consider prison so much a badge of honor but more of a glaring example of a misstep. This group is the least likely to return to prison. They usually realize after one or two stretches in the joint, that the easy money just isn't as easy as it first seemed. The prison administration loves the Kappa. You can put a Kappa in just about any cell house and he won't be a problem. He has no interest in preying on the weak, and he isn't green enough to fall for the thinly veiled traps that cons try to run.

You won't see very many Kappa's growing old in prison. For the most part they hang up the old career and go straight after the first bit or two. A 45 year old Kappa in prison is rarer than a black guy at a Nascar race.

The Sigma's are either doing lengthy stretches in protective custody, or shuffling to the med line for some psych drugs to deal with the day their incessant phone calls home are no longer answered, their names only coming up at mail call when the letter is marked returned to sender, the red stamp image of a finger pointing at them from the envelop addressed in their own writing.

The Alpha's, the cons, they keep coming back until the judge has had enough, gives them more time than they can possibly do. Forced retirement, the criminal world equivalent of a trailer park in Flagstaff or a condo in Florida. They'll hold court, year after year, at some picnic table bolted to concrete. The blue green ink blurring and bleeding together, until it looks less like individual tattoos and more like the mark of Cain. They'll die in a cell, or the prison infirmary, skin the color of old bone and blue green ink.

It's Double M's Prison Week....................

I was reading an article about Tamms, a maximum security prison in Illinois, and a convict named Jerico Smalley. This isn't going to be one of those tales of the wrongly convicted guy who spent half a lifetime in the can, wrongly convicted. Smalley was convicted back in the 70's of blowing a cab drivers leg half off during the commission of a robbery. The cabbie survived, but he lost his leg.
Smalley has spent the last 12 years of his bit in supermax, in a SHU program. That means 23 hour lock down, never leave your cell minus chains. I don't know about Tamms specifically, but most solitary confinement units, the shower is either in your cell, or they roll it in front of your door.
The article reported claims by mental health professionals that such confinement makes the inmate go crazy. Since Smalley earned his stint in the SHU by assaulting guards, inmates, and anyone else within his reach, it's a little tough to find much sympathy for him. He has gassed guards several times. Being gassed means you get piss and shit thrown in your face. Gassing someone will generally get you beat everywhere including the bottoms of your feet, and given the disease potential, I'd say that's a fair call.


Tommy Silverstein is another convict who has been in solitary confinement for decades. Silverstein committed 4 murders while in prison, one of those was a guard. Silverstein is on a no human contact order. Guards don't speak to him other than to give him instruction. Here is a good article on Silverstein. Reporters and bleeding hearts will tell you the system is to blame for the behavior of these guys. The irony is, that the same folks defending the Silversteins and Smalleys of the penal system, don't have to deal with them on a daily basis, and if they did, they would probably be walking around wiping poop soup out of their eyes. Guards and convicts alike will tell you that prison is dangerous enough without having a Hannibal Lecter running around stabbing people in the face.


I knew guys in the joint who passed their time by raising hell. They constantly filed lawsuits, complaints, went on hunger strikes, flushed their sheets down the toilet flooding their cells, and generally made their own lives miserable in the process. They would disappear for a week, or three, and come out of the hole ready to do battle again. But they knew their limits, they pushed the envelop, but only so far. They weren't crazy, just bored or belligerent. The prison guards who read this blog, at least two that I know of, will agree with me, I'm sure.


There is a new type of convict coming to our federal prisons, Terrorists. Most of these Jihad douche bags will end up at ADX Florence in Colorado. This link will take you to a page full of links and articles on the terrorists who are already calling Florence home. I'm still working my way through it all. There is some good stuff to be found there, if this type of thing interests you. I've always been of the opinion that convicted terrorists would be well under control inside the confines of ADX. Now I'm not so sure. So give this stuff a look if you are so inclined, I'll be back tomorrow with a new prison post. Because it's Prison Week here at Midtown Miscreant.

The King and I.......Pass the Percodan

Elvis would have been 75. I was a fan of the later Elvis, the bloated, drug addled, self parodying Elvis. As you can see the King was alive and well on Hollywood Blvd back in 05 when I paid him a fin for this photo. Sure he looks shorter, and possibly mixed with Asian or Filipino, but that shit was just a ruse to keep from blowing his cover. The thing about the King, his history seems to have repeated itself. How so MM? Well I'll tell you how so. Micheal little smokies Jackson, that's how so.
Both started out wildly talented, all American, idolized by many. They fell victim to their own fame, Elvis got fat and high, Jackson got white and high. Elvis was banging Priscilla when she was underage, Jackson had a taste for underoo clad boys. Elvis married Priscilla, Jackson married her and Elvis daughter, though you'll never convince me he peeled her panties. They both doped themselves to death, and the world blamed the doctors rather than the two dope fiends. Elvis still has millions of now middle age and older women who swoon at the mention of him, and who will call you out your name if you slander the King. Jacksons fans will repeat that same loyalty in the future.

So here is a happy birfday to the King of Rock n Roll, or whatever.

Fast Eddie Friday....Something fishy this way comes...

You know how you'll hear something, details on the news about a crime, and shit just doesn't sound right? Here's a good example. Last night a snowplow driver got shot while taking a break. While I'm kind of pissed over the shitty roads of late, I think bustin a cap in a guys coveralls is a bit harsh.
Here is where shit Just Doesn't Sound Right, NBC 41 and Fox 4, just reported that the driver told police he won't press charges, claims he" doesn't want to accuse the wrong person". Wait, shit gets deeper. The police are investigating if the shooter is part of a group of men who robbed a convenience store a 90 minutes earlier and just north of the incident with the snowplow driver.

Three robbers — one holding a shotgun and wearing a black bandanna over his face — barged into the Express Mart about 1 a.m. The fourth robber stood guard outside the front door.

The shotgun robber ordered the clerk to the floor and demanded cash, “Newports and Hennessy.” The clerk put the money, cigarettes and liquor in a bag as another robber stole beer from the cooler.

So let me get this straight, someone shoots you, a complete stranger, for no apparent reason, and you respond by saying you don't want to prosecute? Look for more to come out of this one. And don't even get me started on the retards who rob a place for a little cash, some Newports, and Hennessy. I won't go off on the stereotype that these douche nozzles just perpetuated. I'm surprised they didn't just make it a tri -fecta and take an XXL magazine and Blunt Wraps.

Anywho, back to this Uber conscientious plow driver. Not for nothin, but when you are shot for no reason, refusing to press charges doesn't make much sense. I'm not saying the guy is lying..fuck it, the guy is lying, something is going on. And before you start calling me out, saying the guy is traumatized, or spooked don't waste your breath, it's bullshit. Maybe if the cops already had the suspects and trial was looming, but you don't get shot and refuse to cooperate from the git go unless you are dirty, or know who shot you.


There is no shortage of speculation over the recent Independence church raid. Was it a cult, was there some sexual hi jinks, child porn ring, terrorism, you name it, someone is putting it out there. Here is what I know, and round cheer, that's all that really matters. The pastor Lloyd Sartain is a convicted felon, felony DUI and an agg battery case to be exact. They found guns. This clown will be doing his preaching inside a federal prison. There is a huge misconception about felons and firearms. People think they can own guns after parole, they can't. People think they can own shotguns, black powder guns, they can't. A felon in possession of a firearm, be it a hand cannon, or 1700's squirrel musket, if caught, you are federally fucked. End of story. 120 months, flat, no parole, no passing go.

What is interesting, and a little disturbing about this case is the Jackson County sheriffs statement that they are tickled shitless over the Internet response. Apparently the comments in related articles are filled with all kinds of incriminating allegations. I would hope for the sake of actual justice, the county will have something a wee bit stronger than anony comments. Whatever is going on at that church is yet to be determined. What is certain, if they found guns on Sartains property, he can french kiss the baby goodbye.

So that's it for this week kids. Stay safe, warm and between the yellow lines. See ya monday.

How did Noah do crowd control on the ark?

I was sitting here perusing my hate mail, enjoying a magically delicious bowl of Lucky Charms, with bananas, because I'm health conscious like that, when out of nowhere a Golden Retriever scratched me across my grill. Blood and Lucky Charms don't really go too swell together, gives em a slightly coppery taste. I sat back in my custom fitted leather recliner, or as I like to call it, The M M Command Center, and I surveyed my surroundings. Three, count em, 3 dogs, one loud ass Cockatiel, and a mostly patient girlfriend, who at the time was singing off key because she was cleaning the house and listening to god knows what on her MP3. It dawned on me, I'm kind of like Noah, minus the big ass boat, the messages from God, and the advanced 800 or 900 years of earthly experience. Okay on second thought, I'm nothing like Noah, besides I've got issues with the whole Ark story anyway.
The bird,Oscar is shrieking,Gracie the Golden, is dragging Maggie the Maltese across the floor by her tail, Max the Yorkie is managing to bogart the entire foot rest on my recliner, and the girlfriend is doing her best American Idol rejects rendition of either Jay Z's 99 Problems, or Ava Maria, it's hard to tell.



I resist the urge to reach for the Medical Hippy Lettuce, I never bong and blog, besides I've got to be on my toes up in this joint or else one of you kind readers will point out some grammatical error or call me a douche bag and wish me death by guilt, or something. I'd go outside and do something productive, but I was out there earlier shoveling snowdrifts away from the mailbox and making a path for the Postman, and frankly it's too fucking cold and windy for planting tulips under the tundra.

Back to Noah. Lets just say for argument sake he managed to cram all these animals, from every continent on the planet, into his big ass Cannen Cruiseliner. How did he manage to get all of their minds right? I'm still trying to break the Maltese from licking the microfiber on the couch, I've got to drape a preventive sheet across the sofa or it will end up soaked in dog saliva.
The Golden, only a puppy, will shred any paper product she can get her teeth on, turning an envelop into micro scraps in under a minute, and the bird will not shut its fucking seed hole. Max for the most part is laid back, and only goes on pillow pissing sprees if left home. We buy new pillows like most people buy toilet paper. So I question Noah's sanity if he actually let G to the O to the D, talk him into such a hair brain scheme.


Yesterday the Golden got hold of my cellphone. I highly recommend UT Starcom cellphones, they can take a lickin, and a chewing, and still work. As evidenced by the dental impressions on my own. Look, there is no way, no how, that Noah could have controlled all of those animals. The dogs would have been chewing up his stone tablets, and birds don't look down before they drop an aerial stink pickle. All things considered, I'm going to have to call shenanigans on the 2 of every animal on the boat story. If you were looking for a resolution in this post, or some profound message, you are going to be disappointed. The bird is circling the dining room, and as you may recall, Max ate the head off of the remaining birds former cage mate.
I gotta go.

Uncle Ed Muscare gets five years..

A Lakeland Florida judge handed down a five year sentence to Ed Muscare for repeatedly failing to comply to his restrictions and the rules of his probation and parole. It's no big secret that I had a hand in drawing attention to Muscare, and I haven't pulled any punches when it comes to my opinion about sex offenders. My initial reaction, I'd be lying if I said I thought the punishment fit the crime. I don't, in fact I think the judge went overboard. Five years is tantamount to a death sentence for a a 77 year old man. I'm assuming he will have to serve a pretty big slice of that nickle. While I don't think he should have walked away unscathed, five years seems pretty harsh. There was a moment when I felt a little guilty, felt some sympathy for Muscare. I think it was the line he offered the court about seeing that his dogs were taken care of that got to me for a second.

Then there is the reality of Muscare's actions. He violated nearly every condition of his release, after being told to stop posting videos, he had someone else do it. He stood before the bench and told them he didn't do anything wrong. Never mind that he failed to register as a sex offender, forget that he moved out of state failing to notify either the state he left or the state he moved to.

"I feel in my heart I did nothing wrong."

Those were the words that bought him a fresh nickle in the joint. That's the same mindset that allowed him to commit sexual battery on at least one child. When you can convince yourself that something wrong is right, that is the mindset which makes you a danger. Fans of Muscare, and he has thousands, will fail to see the reasoning behind the admittedly harsh sentence. They won't bother to look beyond the creepy, goofy, old guy posting harmless videos. They will downplay or totally deny the lasting effect upon the victim of Muscare's original crime. They will naively call his crime a mistake. Not unlike their youtube idol, they will make shit right in their own mind. The truth is, people who molest children, the animals who rape women, they never really lose that urge. They may learn to control it through fear of prison, but it's always there, and that is why guys like Ed Muscare , harmless as he may appear, must be kept on a tight leash. Ironically one of the driving forces behind Ed's downfall wasn't me, not really. All I did was put a little information out on this blog, and through a short interview on Fox 4. The thing that brought Muscare to his present fate, his fans and his buddy who continued to post those videos after Muscare was told to stop by the authorities. I believe the Judge probably spent some time perusing the comments, realized that Muscare's followers were in large part young, impressionable, and many under age. I think he was able to put 2 and 2 together and realized that Ed could potentially reach out to some of his more impressionable fans. I also believe that the Judge got more than a little annoyed over Ed trying to work around the order to cease posting videos and using the Internet, by having a friend post them.

In the end, I just helped to get the ball rolling, it was his friends and fans, and his need to draw attention to himself, along with his inability to play by the rules, that cost him his freedom.

Want fries with that fit?

Somebody get that bitch a Happy Meal!! STAT!!!!
The crazy Midtown Kansas City goodness starts at about 55 seconds in to the video. The KCPD is looking for this gentle flower, who snapped, crackled, and popped like a giant rice crispy in the Mc D's on Linwood and Main. If you see this woman, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT, attempt to apprehend her. Get crossways with this woman and you'll be eating a steady diet of Mc Shakes until they unwire your jaw. I suggest luring here to the Central patrol division via a trail of fries.

I found this gem by way of Crime Scene Kansas City. Thanks James Hart.

Back in the saddle again...One more last chance..

After an extended hiatus, I'm back . To be honest, I needed the break, keeping you rubes entertained is more than a little demanding. So, this first post of the New Year is going to be a recap/ where are they now, type of thing. I've spent a couple of days reading back through my own stuff and doing a little follow up on some of the cases I have commented on in the past. Let's see where they are now.

Billy Blood, sounds like a pirate, and may or may not ring a bell with you. Blood is a female by the way, who left an illegal pistol unattended in her purse. Four year old Angelina Jimenez found the pistol and died as a consequence. You can read my original post here. As you can see from her mugshot Blood was really tore up over the whole situation. Maybe that smile was unintentional, or maybe she had a premonition on the outcome of the case which caused a four year old child to cease to exist. Blood received probation according to case net. As of this writing she appears to still be violation free.


Lionel R Henderson ring a bell? I didn't think so, but it will after you read this. Henderson is one of two men charged in the murder of Ashley Thomas and her unborn child, Thomas was in her ninth month. Here is what you probably did not know, Henderson was on probation at the time of the killing. Granted he hasn't been convicted of the crime, that said it's interesting to note that Henderson was originally given a suspended imposition of sentence in a tampering case, he violated that probation several times, and even after two violations he was given shock time, and back on the bricks in 120 days. What does that mean? It means if he was one of the killers, he would have been serving his sentence and not killing pregnant women at the time the crime was committed. The second man charged in the murder, Calvin A Boswell, was out on bond at the time of the murder. Again according to Case Net, Boswell was on probation from a 2005 Tampering case, he violated his probation no fewer than 5 times. In 2008 he was given two years, but it appears the sentence was never carried out, as the last entry shows he was on bond in late 2008. Point being, had both of these shit heels been locked up after screwing the pooch numerous times, a young woman and her unborn child might be alive today.

And the hits just keep coming. Our very own former children's show/late night creep, Edward Muscare is still in the news. Ed is still cooling his heels in a Florida jail, but he is giving interviews, and bemoaning the plight of the registered sex offender. His you tube fans are still supporting the Mr Creepy Creeperman, despite his conviction for failing to register as a sex offender, despite the fact that he moved out of state without informing the authorities, and despite his repeated violations while on parole and probation. I take some small pleasure in knowing that it was yours truly who had a hand in Ed's current situation. You can argue that Ed has served his time, you can claim he is harmless, and you can rail at the system for making sure Ed walks the straight and narrow. What you can't argue, is that Ed Muscare had no problem committing sexual battery on a 14 year old boy, which makes him a pedophile, and as such he is subject to certain stipulations and rules. If he wanted to live out his life in peace and quiet, he should have followed the terms of his parole, thereby avoiding a second felony of failing to register. He would have been free of the restrictive terms ordered under his second felony probation. The Lakeland Florida judge will hand down a decision tomorrow.


So whats my point? Glad you asked. My point is the courts seem to have no problem giving second , third, or fifth chances, to folks who have shown nothing but contempt for human life, the welfare of children, or the conditions of their release. Billy Blood is responsible for the death of a child, she walks freeas we speak. Henderson and Boswell, may have murdered a woman and her unborn child, if that proves to be the case, the courts have a hand in those deaths, they allowed these guys to go free after countless violations of their probation and parole. Ed Muscare, sits in a jail because he refused to abide by the conditions of his release on several occasions. We imprison more people in this country than anyone else on the globe, maybe we aren't locking up the right people, or maybe we are just too forgiving.

Will be back up and running tomorrow........

Sorry for the delay...............