Anatomy of a con man...Harold ( oops my bad) Camping

I've mentioned a time or two in previous posts that I wanted to be a Preacher when I was a kid. My maternal Grandmother, the now infamous, at least on this blog) Clara, was a big follower of Televangelists. She was a big fan of Oral Roberts. No Granny jokes about the Oral thing. Myself I preferred Jimmy Swaggert. Dude could cry on cue, real tears and everything. this was prior to him getting ratted out by some hooker. Jimmy wore a big ass gold watch, a couple of pinkie rings, and suits that never went anywhere near a rack, unless you count the hookers.  I've always contended that regardless of my upbringing, family life, or any of the fucked up shit that may have marked my early years, I was destined to be what I was. What I was, was a not real great guy, a pox on society, and the bane of a few bankers existance. Looking back, I figure Jimmy Swaggert was my earliest criminal influence. Even as a pup, I could smell Jimmy's bullshit from a mile away. At the same time, I couldn't help but be impressed that he was able to hoodwink so many rubes. His church was huge. His followers in the millions.

One of my first hustles was going door to door with a green bean can that had a fake handwritten label on it that said UNICEF. One of the neighbors ratted me out after they got wind of me taking the neighborhood crazy cat lady down for a few quarters. Memory is a little clouded with time, but if I recall correctly, moms was still going to the belt back then. I'm pretty sure I had to give the cat lady her money back as well, even though I'm still convinced the old bat put some kind of catty hex on my dog Frisky. I caught her at Milgrams grocery store one day, bitch had my dog in the car with her. After that Frisky kind of lived between our house and hers. Mom felt sorry for the cat harboring old broad and wouldn't put the kibosh on her waylaying my dog. Said she was old and lonely or some such bullshit. But I digress.

The lesson I learned back then would have been a moral footnote type of story for a normal cub scout type kid. For me it was a lesson in superstition and what not to do. That lesson stuck with me through my criminal career. Don't hustle old people, churches, or anything to do with charity, lest the Gods of felonious enterprise smote your ass with some bad juju. Criminals, by and large are a superstitious bunch. Many criminals are also susceptible to their own bullshit. Which is to say, a weak minded criminal, especially of the conning trades often come to believe what they are slinging. Like method actors. They get into this role and then start believing their own lies.  I figure this Harold Camping cat is of that type of cloth, How else do you explain it? Don't fall for the old " he is a religious nutsack" school of thought. In 2009, the nonprofit reported in IRS filings that it received $18.3 million in donations, and had assets of more than $104 million, including $34 million in stocks or other publicly traded securities. This Camping guy is not crazy, but he is probably in line for some super bad juju, since he swindled more than a few old people and borderline retards out of some major cheddar.

I want to feel sorry for these rubes. Some of them maxxed out credit cards, emptied bank accounts, pissed away life savings and future security all at the behest of a geriatric hustler who was slinging God like 5 dollar rocks on an inner city street corner. I feel some sympathy for the old victims. Let's face it, as death nears, time is short, people are vulnerable, afraid of the unknown, and ready to buy the brand of bullshit that some religious huckster is selling. That said, I feel zero sympathy and have utter contempt for the tales of misery and woe that younger 30/40/ 50's types are starting to tell the media. Some trucker was crying in his canned chili over having maxxed out his cards and spent all his money on dragging his wife and kids to Cali to await the rapture. These people, adults with children who depend on them to be the voice of reason and financial support, need to be taken out and punched in the throat for buying into something so ridiculous. Spending all of your money, sacrificing the welfare of your children, because you  so arrogantly  believe that out of billions of people, you are one of 200,000 worthy of heaven, is a throat punching offense. It also proves the old PT Barnum adage "There is a sucker born every minute" .

Bledsoe rental homicide. 2nd degree Murder and Armed Robbery, while on Probation for Robbery.

When David Bledsoe was murdered during an armed robbery, one of the suspects,  Andre M. Broadus, had an active warrant for probation violation. The warrant was issued in 2010. He was on probation, PROBATION, for Robbery. Yes probation, for robbery. The media must not have the url for case net, or they don't feel like it's newsworthy. Back in 2007 Broadus was indicted by a grand jury for what was eventually plead down to 2nd degree robbery. His original bond was 250k, so it must have been a little more serious than snagging some kids lunch money. He was given a 5 year sentence which was suspended for 3 years. He violated a few months shy of completing the probation.

The grandpa of the other suspect is the alleged driver of the getaway car. He has an unlawful weapons charge on his record. The other suspect Anthony Britton was just 18, so he hasn't had enough time to build a respectable rap sheet as an adult, though something tells me he was well on his way.  If convicted, one would assume that probation won't be an option. Of course this isn't the first time I've pointed out a killer who happened to be on probation at the time of the murder they committed.  The 2 scumbags who killed the pregnant woman in front of the Gotham apartments on Armour last year were also out on probation, one of them had a warrant for violation at the time of the killing.

Probation is a funny thing. It rarely works, the probationers aren't held to the stipulations. Broadus was charged for felony non support during his probation, yet he wasn't violated. He never even paid the paltry 68 bucks for court cost and public defender fees. He had an active warrant from 2010 which he either failed to answer, was never caught, or possibly made bond on. It's hard to tell for certain from the way case net enters info. What is certain, this shit heel shouldn't have ever received probation for a felony robbery case.

The Bledsoe family is closing the store they operated on Prospect for somewhere around a half a century. A man is dead. If you ever wondered why the east side of Kansas City remains an undeveloped wasteland, you need look no further than this case, and the countless others, where innocent business owners or their employees have died because some clown with a gun decided he wanted what wasn't his. There was the murder of at least a couple of convenience store/gas station clerks in the last year or so. The one that comes to mind was the clerk from somewhere in the middle east, who was attending college. That case remains unsolved if I recall correctly, even though  they had a pretty good pic of at least one of the perps. 

Who in their right mind is going to try to build a business in a fucking war zone? Our first lady recently lamented the lack of grocery stores in depressed urban areas. That same complaint has been echoed on Kansas City's east side.  Let's be real here, the reason their aren't more big chain stores on the east side is because they would be a constant target for dick heads with low IQ's and an illegal pistol. Robbery, low level robbery, like grocery store and gas station stick ups, are the criminal equivalent of special ed classes. In all my years on the wrong side of the law, I never met a small time stick up guy who was much smarter than a dirt clod. I knew more than a few on the street, and several in the joint. Every one of them shared two distinct characteristics. A small brain, and a bully's disposition.

People who have good intentions but naive belief systems, love to bemoan the Prison Industrial Complex. Hell, I spent time inside and even I haven't been immune to sometimes blaming the system for locking up kids and young men, mostly black, warehouse them, then send them back to the same environment with no skills. Don't get me twisted, I still believe that to some extent. There are some that you can still reach, but here's the rub, even if you don't do a single thing to help those guys better themselves, they aren't likely to get out, walk in a store and kill someone over a little money. It's just not in their DNA. They may sell some dope, steal some cars, whatever their hustle is, but they won't take up a pistol. They won't snuff out a life. In those cases, probation might work. rehabilitation might succeed. But guys like Broadus, those guys you don't reach. If you catch a robbery beef, then you go do your bit. there is no crying in baseball, and there is no probation in a robbery case, or any violent crime. These types you can't reach. So you you put them out of reach. You lock em up. 5 or 10 years might do the trick. Might, but most likely won't.  When you lack the humanity that prevents you from sticking a pistol in some square world guys face, you lack the humanity to live among those in the square world.

The Bledsoe rental murder is a case in point. Broadus didn't pull the trigger according to the other suspect who admits to shooting Bledsoe. But you can bet your ass Broadus is the one who planned it. He was calling the shots. He has the history. If the judge who doled out probation to Broadus, If the judge who heard the felony nonsupport case had violated Broadus probation, and made him do that nickle...then maybe Mr. Bledsoe  would still be alive. That's a lot of maybe, but it's tough to argue that the court didn't have a hand in the death of this store owner.

IMF Cheif Dominique Strauss-Kahn is just Pepe Le'pew in a 1,000 dollar suit.

What is it with the French? IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn is all over the news for trying to make a quick get away after allegedly forcing a hotel maid to blow him. According to CNN a recent poll says 57 percent of the frogs believe he is being set up. Never mind that the guy left a bunch of his personal property in his hotel room, including his cellphone, as he was trying to get the fuck out of Dodge.

It seems like I write at least one derogatory post per year with one singular purpose. That purpose is to talk shit on the French. I'm not sure when my loathe affair with the smarmy pricks began, I think it might have been that cartoon with the skunk Pepe le'pew, or however the frogs spell it. When the French aren't busy being all pretentious and shit, their favorite pastime seems to be raping and sodomizing women, specifically American women. Even Pepe the cartoon skunk was all the time trying to shoplift the pooty off of that female cat with the unfortunate white paint stripe on it's back.

The frogs protected Roman ( Quaalude just means Skittles in French) Polanski. Never mind that Polanski drugged some kid who wasn't old enough to drive, then ass raped her before sending her home to her absentee mother. Now the French are offended that we crass Americans have subjected one of their fellow frogs to the perp walk. If you think I'm being a little harsh on the French, consider this money quote from France's former minister of  culture and education, Jack Lang. And not for nothing, but that ain't exactly a french sounding name. Lang was complaining that we didn't let the perp  out on bail, " when no violent crime has been committed -- even in America suspects are usually let go on bail if a violent crime has not been committed." So there you have it, forcible rape and sodomy isn't a violent crime, so long as it's committed with a French accent.

The French are pissed off because "in France" they don't allow the media to film or photograph the accused. Someone who speaks French needs to inform them that this ain't France. Considering the fact that Kahn has an entire wing of Rikers Island to himself, the french should thank us for not just turning him out into general population, where they don't numb you up with Quaaludes prior to making you sit funny for a week or two.  

There is one bright side to this story. The NY Post is reporting that the victim lives in a New York apartment building that exclusively houses AIDS patients. She is from west Africa, so it sounds plausible. If that's the case, Kahn has more to worry about than trying to figure out what the mystery meat served for lunch consists of. If he is guilty and manages to buy his way out of this mess, he may not escape justice in the end. ( no Polanski).

I'll have the Hypocrisy Special and a glass of Milk please.

Not wanting to beat a dead terrorist to death, so these will by my last words on Osama. I swear on my mama.  I haven't seen this much media coverage and over analysis inundation since Mikey Jackson did too much dope while wearing some kids underoos. The thought just occurred to me, this instant no less, that Bin Laden the king of terrorism, and Micheal Jackson the king of Bad Touch, share a lot of similarities in death. Conspiracy theories abound, mystery shrouds their deaths, and their ardent followers  refuse to believe they cashed in their chips. The biggest similarity, at least in my fucked up as a soup sandwich mind, is the hypocrisy in the reactions to the timely end of two world class shit heels.  In Jacksons case, celebs and devout fans lifted the lover of little boys little smokies to near godlike status. We heard what a wonderful gentle soul he was, despite all of the evidence and payoffs to the contrary. His creativity aside, the guy was a dope fiend and a pedo. Period.

Bin Laden's assassination on the other hand has spurred hypocrisy on levels I don't believe I've ever seen.

The White House is concerned that releasing Bin Ladens death photo will offend Muslims in general, and incite radical Islamists in particular. I hear over and over that Islam is a religion based on love, peace, and saffron grease. Muslims, real Muslims, refute violence and jihads, and flying planes into buildings full of secretaries and stock brokers. At least that's the story we get. If in fact that is the case, then Bin Laden shouldn't be considered a good Muslim in the eyes on non extremist regular Muslims.  As for the radical types. These clowns have decapitated Allah knows how many reporters and contractors, on video, which they posted proudly on Jihadtube, or whatever passes for it. We don't owe this particular group of cave men any courtesy or consideration. We do owe them the same thing that Osama got, which was one to the face and one to the chest. As for pissing them off, I think we accomplished that mission when we raided what passes for a mansion in the middle of nowhere and killed their poster boy.

I say show the picture. Maybe photoshop a little red mustache on him with a caption underneath, Got Jihad? or something. Showing the image of a dead Bin Laden won't make these pricks any more pissed of than they already are.  Obama showed some testicular fortitude, but worrying about offending people who already want us all dead is the equivilant of the previous mentioned testicles ascending quicker than one of those grandpa polar bear club participants taking their first splash in frigid water. We need to be clear, stop trying to bullshit the American public and the world. We never intended to bring Bin Laden out alive. If we had, I've no doubt that the well trained seals could have subdued the unarmed  Arabian version of  Stringbean. We killed him to send a message. Now lets not fuck the message up worrying about PC bullshit. When you shoot someones face off of their head, then manners are kind of a moot point.

Credit where credit is due. Obama made a ballsy call.That said, if not for extreme interrogation there might not have been an end to the hunt for  Bin Laden. While he won't come out and say it was waterboarding or torture, I'm pretty sure that extreme interrogation isn't part of the X games. And this is where the greatest hypocrisy comes into play. The right doesn't want to give too much credit to Obama. Palin for example congratulated Bush, never mentioning Obama. The left, ah, the left. They are stinking up the joint with their self congratulatory fart fest. Many of these rubes called for war crimes prosecution against the Bush administration for torture tactics. Now they are licking their lips from gorging on the Fruit of a poison tree. Which is to say, much, not all, but much of the info that lead to Bin Ladens demise was gained through torture in 2007. The couriers name was obtained from a captive in Gitmo who was tortured. The current administration can downplay it all they want, but the facts are the facts. Here's the rub, if you are claiming torture is wrong, if you feel that the Bush administration is guilty of human rights violations due to those tactics, you can't cheer for the assassination of a guy who was brought down in part from the very tactics you claim are criminal.

Ding Dong the witch is dead. That's a good thing, but lets keep shit in perspective. The world is not one fucking iota safer because of his demise. We assassinated Osama in  his jammies while his wives and kids were in the same house. We shot an unarmed man in the face. I'm good with that. It sends a message. Don't fuck with the bull, you might get the horns. We got him because Obama showed some brass. We got him because Bush showed some brass in the past. I'm not saying we should reintroduce torture as a staple of everyday interrogation tactics. But when thousands of lives are at stake, you do what it takes. This shit ain't checkers, it's chess. We did the right thing. If you believe that, and I do, then you have to concede that Bush did the right thing as well. I never cared for Bush, I think he was a dolt for the most part. I thought Obama was going to be a great President,  I was wrong on that one as well. But I can't fault him on this one. That said, in this particular case, they were right. Both of them. As much as it may taste like shit in your mouth to admit it, to deny it is hypocrisy on a grand scale.

The death of Osama Bin Laden....A reality check.

In the movie Pulp Fiction a guy named Marvin gets his brains splattered all over the interior of an old beat Plymouth Duster, or maybe a Dodge Dart. Jules and Vincent end up cleaning the gore out of the car per the instructions of a heavy, known only as The Wolf.

To paraphrase The Wolf, played by Harvey Keitel, Let's not start blowing each other just yet. The announcement by President Obama that Bin Laden now sleeps with the fishes caused people to take to the streets, climb trees and light posts, and generally act a fool. The political types, newsies, and every asshole with an opinion, myself included, has chimed in on what the death of Americas most wanted caveman really means. Most believe that the news is a blow to terrorism. Most believe this is a victory for the U.S.
It isn't.
What it is, plain and simple, is a little piece of get back.
I'm okay with that. If anyone ever deserved killing, it was Bin Laden.

Already pundits are calling this thing a big boost for Obamas reelection. While punching this Neanderthals ticket was long overdue, it leaves more questions than answers, and it ends nothing other than the life of a guy who was sitting practically next door to a military base for Allah knows how long. Whoever steps up to fill his sandals, and someone already has, we can expect retaliation. Bank on it. Since we are dealing with a group of middle eastern hillbillies, this latest news is just a continuation of a long standing Hatfield and McCoys feud on a global scale. This shit ain't over, not by a long shot.

This isn't a victory for the U.S. We chased this schmuck around for the better part of 20 years, long before 9/11. Besides the horrific losses on 9/11, our soldiers have died on foreign soil in multiple wars, all in the name of fighting terrorism, and Bin Laden was the poster boy. We have spent billions. Bin Ladens death isn't a game changer, it's just a shuffle in power. In the eyes of his admirers, his followers, his legend and stature grew with his death. He is now a martyr in their eyes. He got his truckload of virgin goat herders when he entered that big cave in the sky.

What I find amazing is the status that Bin Laden attained, courtesy of our inability to punch his ticket for lo these many years. This guy walked around with impunity for a couple of decades, not to mention making countless shitty videos which riled up his followers to the point of flying planes into buildings and turning themselves into human bombs. When you have a group of zealots who have no problem shoving a pound of c4 up their asses, or under their junk, the death of their leader isn't going to slow them down. Just the opposite.

So let's not start blowing each other just yet. Nothing has really changed. We just cleaned up one long standing mess only to open a whole new can of worms. We buried his body at sea. Let the conspiracy theories begin. If we really wanted to make a statement, we should have left his head on a stick back over in that dusty Pakistani shit hole . Now there's a message that would be understood by a group who probably still wipes their asses with a hand full of pebbles and treat women like livestock.  In the meantime, I'll look with suspicion on anyone who has that terrorist look, especially when flying. No Juan Williams.