Fast Eddie Friday....I was sexually harassed by Herman Cain.

Here we go kids. Fast and loose.

It all started with sausage on a pizza. Sausage I did not order. Godfathers pizza. It wasn't anything really sexual in nature. Just a vague and ambiguous feeling of discomfort over the sexually suggestive meat product on my pizza. It made me uncomfortable. Then I found what appeared to be a pubic hair on my coke can. I want 35 grand. NOW.  Now this all happened to me back in the 1990's, still it haunts me and I can't enjoy pizza to this day.  Ok, that was clearly bullshit. I hate Godfathers pizza and I spent a fair chunk of the 90's in prison, where pizza resembles cornbread with beans, because they didn't serve fucking pizza, but served the hell out cornbread and beans. I just couldn't resist making fun of a black guys misfortune, free of the fear of being pegged as a racist.

I assumed when  claims surfaced that Herman Cain sexually harassed 3 women in the previous century, the usual cadre of race police would rush to Cains defense, throwing the race card like ninja stars at anyone white who uttered a single critical word against this high profile black man. Strangely, I've yet to hear a single word from Sharpton, Waters, the Black Caucus, Jesse Jackson  sr. or jr., The Grio, NAACP, and every flaming white guilt laden  liberal who cried racism over the slightest criticism directed toward Obama.

Cain has about as much business being president as I do, or as the guy currently in the white house does, which is zero business. Cain isn't qualified to run this country. Sadly neither was Obama, and I say that as a one time supporter. That said, the hypocrisy of the left, the one sided racially loaded indignation that has been pulled out like a pistol at the slightest criticism of Obama, is nowhere to be found in the controversy surrounding Cain.

The first black president, Bill Clinton, tie dyed a woman's dress with his presidential tadpoles, he dipped his cigar, which was probably an illegal Cuban, into the who ha of an intern,  yet he is the favorite elder statesman of the liberals. Ted Kennedy is probably going to be canonized by the democrats, despite the fact that he killed a woman, while driving drunk. Obama, managed to overcome Rev. Wright, Bill Ayers, and his formerly ashamed to be an American wife. Don't get me wrong, the right is as fucked up as the left when it comes pointing out the other sides dirt while sweeping their own under the rug. But when race is a part of the equation, there is no short supply of self righteous white and black folk circling the wagons to defend the honor and blackness of our current Potus.  Clearly someone changed the rules without telling me. It is now ok to criticize the President without Maxine Waters picketing your front yard.

Rick Perry's dreaded N word  rock didn't get nearly the press that Cains alleged Sexual Harassment saga is getting. Mitt Romney's religious beliefs have received next to zero press. Not that I give a rats ass about Mitt's belief in a religion that is barely as old as his secret underwear. I'm just sayin, I'd like a little more even handed slinging of the race card from the left. There is currently a BLACK GUY being eviscerated in the press over accusations that are coming from people who don't want to put their face or name to the allegations. Where the fuck is Al , Maxine, and Jesse  when you need em?

Occupy Wall Street. Americas Arab Spring or Americas Coldest Winter?

I keep hearing the Occupy Wall Street movement is Americas version of the Arab Spring.
If you think that comparison means an uprising against a murderous dictator, it doesn't.  If you think that comparison means rioting, looting, tearing up shit, rape and assault, you are closer to the mark. Whatever OWS began as, whatever the message was originally, it's become lost on most of the so called 99 percent. From the handful of squatters in Kansas City, to the human landfill in New York, and now the riots of Oakland, this thing has devolved into a closer version of the Arab Spring than it's supporters care to admit. And by that I mean, whatever noble cause the original protesters laid claim to, is overshadowed by a disorganization, hypocrisy, petulance, stupidity, and increasing violence, and anarchy.  Yesterday in Oakland rioters broke windows , built a huge bonfire in the middle of a city street, and shut down Oakland's port.

The violence, the sexual assaults inside OWS encampments, will be blamed on interlopers, outsiders, and the homeless, rather than actual  OWS protesters. The agenda is finally clear in my mind. I wont presume to speak for the remaining 99 percent of Americans, which is the mantra of the OWS mobs. They claim to be speaking for 99 percent of Americans, I'd wager 99.99 percent of that 99 percent would beg to differ.

The message is clear.  And the message is "We want your shit, if you have more shit than we do." The message is " We don't want to pay for our college degree. Even though we agreed to pay for it." The message is that of a petulant spoiled child who has been handed everything  it  could ask for, yet still demands more." Just like that spoiled brat, the OWS people are now starting to throw themselves on the ground, kicking, screaming, and holding their breath until mommy and daddy give them their way.

Are there people with legit grievances in the OWS movement? People who are older, paid their dues, become disenfranchised, lost their way, their hope? Sure, but they are the minority. Older, middle class, worked their asses off, lost it all.  For those people I feel. But they aren't going to find their way among the majority of OWS degenerates.  They have nothing in common with the young clueless shit heels who make up the majority of the group. So I'm not without sympathy. I just don't understand how throwing in with a bunch of green deadbeats is going to advance their cause or ease their burden.

The OWS mess will continue to devolve until it turns deadly. The lowest common denominator of America will continue to complain about their lot in life. They will bemoan the fact they can't get a job with that expensive Arts degree. When the reach a fevered pitch, when they take to the streets and start rioting and looting, and they will. When that happens, I won't shed a single tear or lose a moments sleep. The end result will be a whole lot of smashed heads and broken teeth. You reap what you sow.

Someone should have explained to these young chuckle heads that life isn't always fair. Some people will always have more shit than other people. Sometimes you have to settle for that less than idyllic job or life that you naively assumed would be handed to you after 4 years of Alcohol binges and worthless degree in mid century macaroni portrait studies.

Occupy Wall Street ....The Amish Occupation. Join us. We have pie.

It's been a minute since my last post. Unless you count the one yesterday. I've been busy protesting Wall Street, corporate greed, and all things capitalistic. I had forsaken any and everything related to or provided by the war mongering, greedy, corporations. And by forsaken, I mean everything except, my smart phone, laptop, Internet connection, car, gas, electricity, medicine, and a whole bunch of other shit that I'm convinced I cant live without, and am totally entitled to as an American. Other than those basic staples of life, I'm living off the grid. No longer shackled by the bonds of capitalism. No longer enslaved by the corporations. I AM THE 99 PERCENT.

I was originally going to join the Kansas City Occupy Wall Street, but frankly I can't stand the smell of Patchouli oil. And I'm not about to pitch a tent at Penn Valley Park. (no Seacrest). The last time a straight dude pitched a tent at Penn Valley Park he walked funny for a week.  While the Kansas City protesters were holding a rally/demonstration in front of City Hall , on a Sunday, apparently it's productive to protest the greedy gubmint on a weekend in front of a gubmint building occupied by a half dozen Nigerian janitors, I was busy with my Amish brothers, standing in solidarity against big oil, button manufactures, electric companies, and the frozen pie crust and filling industry.

We rode en masse to the demonstration.

We shut down Big Oil.

We shut down big business.

We shut down a gambling den / pool hall.

We ate pie.

Rather than raise hell, we raised a barn.

Then it happened. I never saw it coming. I was kicked out of the Amish of Mo. OWS movement. It all started with my beard, or lack of. Goatees are apparently a sign of Capitalism and pridefulness. My Amish cohorts told me I'd need to let my beard grow out if I was going to be a member of the group. My short trimmed goatee was putting on airs. They told me I'd have to wear a straw hat and let the hair grow on my shaved head. Then they found out I offered weed and a lady Schick to one of their hairy bonnet wearing women. They pulled my pie card. I was excommunicated from the OWS/ Amish division.

I've returned to KC. I went back to work for the greedy corporation that has enslaved me by enabling me to pay my bills and have shit like food, electricity, communication devices, and buttons. Not for nothing, but buttons are a highly under appreciated luxury. It's a bitch trying to peel the petticoat on a furry dutch speaking broad whose clothes are held together with hooks.   So, if you were asking yourself " Where's MM", now you know.  I was protesting, making a difference. Fighting the man. Now I'm back, just another zombie drinking corporate koolaid. Just like most of you rubes.

***Clearly this was a weak-ish attempt at parody, and some pretty harsh anti-Amish rhetoric.  Same difference. I've been following the OWS thing, and I'm going to delve into it tomorrow.

Midtown Miscreant joins the Occupy Wall Street Movement

I know you've all been wringing your hands, waiting with abated breath, wondering what has become of me. Did he finally quit this blogging thing? Did he go back to his criminal ways? Is he dead? In jail? Unable to pay his Internet bill?

Nope. None of the above.

I joined the Occupy Wall street Movement.

But blogger is fucked the fuck up. Probably an unscrupulous move by the greedy corporate types trying to silence my voice.

So your going to have to wait until tomorrow.

Expect an epic post, with pictures and moral indignation.

Tomorrow.