George Zimmerman....I hear Peru is nice this time of year.

Justice for Trayvon....... By now it's as familiar as a commercial jingle for dish soap or some other product that plays on a continuous loop in your head, "Hey Culligan Man" . It's also just as meaningless.  In another time and place, justice would have been served at the conclusion of the Zimmerman trial. But the game has changed, Lady justice has a cheese cloth blindfold these days. She can see right through that sucker. Justice is no longer blind and a not guilty verdict just means round one didn't go your way. The media did everything possible to convict George Zimmerman in the court of public opinion. They edited 911 tapes, they called him white and when that proved wrong, they made up a whole new term, White Hispanic. They ran 5 year old photos of a chubby cheeked 12 year old Trayvon. They painted a picture that would have you thinking young Tray was skipping home in  Smurf  Pajamas and a baby  bonnet. Even President Obama jumped into the fray, proclaiming Trayvon to be the son he never had.

 Despite all of that, the state couldn't get a conviction.

In a sane and just world a not guilty verdict would have been the last word in the Zimmerman case. Never mind that Zimmerman is a marked man. Put aside all of the death threats, Black Panther bounties, and the inevitable civil lawsuit. In a sane world, but not in our world.

No sooner than the verdict was read, the bell for round 2 rang. The Justice Department is considering charges against Zimmerman, at the urging of  esteemed civil rights folks like Al and the right reverend Jackson. The  NAACP, and pretty near every liberal pundit who could get on a Sunday morning news show. The seemingly conflicting twin mantras have been repeated ad nauseum. Remain calm. Justice wasnt served.  Justice for Trayvon.

The message will become clearer over the next week or two. Here's the message stripped of all the PC bull shit. Bring federal charges against George Zimmerman or we will burn this mother fucker to the ground. 

40 black people shot by black men in Chicago over the 4th of July weekend .
Justice for Trayvon.
Half a dozen black on black murders here in Kansas City over the past 10 days.
Justice for Trayvon.
The leading cause of death for young black males is young black males.
Justice for Trayvon.

Make no mistake, the Trayvon Martin /  George Zimmerman saga has nothing to do with justice. It has everything to do with payback. From Jim Crow to Bull Connor. In the minds eye of every current civil rights pimp, the Sharptons and Jacksons, the liberal left media, and all the way to the U S Justice dept. and the White House, it's time for a reckoning, setting right the wrongs that happened before most of us were born.

My advice to Zimmerman. Visit your mothers people in Peru. Make it a permanent vacation.

Chicago will be safer after the Presidents speech or How to blow smoke up the ass of America. Pick a title.

Today the POTUS will surround himself with children. Children who we are to believe took it upon themselves to write the White House, because lets face it, who among us didn't write the president at some point during their childhood? Liberal anti gun folks will sit in front of their televisions, eyes brimming with tears as they hang on every word that rolls from Barry's lips. Newtown ,Aurora, Gabby Giffords, and Columbine will be referenced repeatedly. A bloody mantra. When it's all over, not a single life will have been saved. We won't be any safer. We WILL be even more divided as a nation. Those who support any and every thing Obama proposes will pat themselves on their collective back. They will stroke their fragile egos. They will assure themselves that THEY are the better people. They CARE.  They are what is GOOD and RIGHT in this country. They will go about their lives never questioning why their concern, their collective outrage, doesn't or hasn't to this point, extended beyond the rare mass shooting to the ever present and ongoing daily violence that plagues this country.

Meanwhile, here in the real world, people will continue to die. Chicago will continue to be more dangerous than Iraq or Afghanistan. Blood will run through the streets of every major and minor city in the nation. The president probably wont mention Chicago, even though he began his swift rise to power in Chi town. He owns a home there. A home that will continue to be protected by Secret Service agents for the remainder of Obamas life or at least as long as he owns it. We chortle derisively at the mention of armed guards in schools, but never utter a sound at the hypocrisy of protecting an unoccupied house with armed guards. 

African Americans who voted for Obama simply because of his ethnicity won't bother to question why the killings of mostly white children has drawn such a dramatic response while their own children die at the hands of one another as regularly as a clock ticks. They will praise the administration for taking a stand against the hoardes of hillbillies who legally own guns, who never commit a single crime. Their world won't be any safer in the inner city. They still won't sleep in front of windows, or sit on their porches late of a summer evening.
They will mistakenly believe that new gun laws that restrict law abiding Americans from protecting themselves somehow makes the world a safer place. They won't question how. They will just blindly and stupidly believe. The next day or the following hour, another of their young will lay bleeding out on cold concrete. Nothing will change.

In Kansas City, St. Louis, Chicago, or any other city, African Americans will continue to die in disproportionate numbers, at  their own hands. They won't be killed in mass shootings while in school. The predators who rule their streets and instill fear in their lives will continue the business of killing. and business is booming. The liberal left will cheer the President for his brave action. They will high 5 one another. They will swell with pride for being  good and decent, forward thinking folks. They will go back to their suburban lives, in their idyllic neighborhoods, and quicker than you can say Chai Latte with Soy Milk, another family in the urban core will bury another child.

Gun violence in this country isn't about who has the most bullets, the fastest firing pistol, or the most guns. Gun violence in this country is overwhelmingly about gang violence, a lack of value on human life, and a culture that celebrates sociopaths. Violence in this country cannot be placed solely on any single race or subculture. However, a disproportionately small percentage of society is responsible for an equally disproportionately high percentage of death and violence in this country. Until people develop the stones to speak on it, nothing will change. But at least folks can feel good that Obama cares about rare mass shootings, even if he has ignored the deaths of young black boys who  look like his own son, if he had one. Nothing political about that. Nothing to see here. Move along and stay clear of windows.

Fast Eddie Friday...Looking at the bright side through rose colored night vision goggles

In the aftermath of a stinging and shocking defeat it's easy to be depressed. I'll admit its been as tough of a week for me as it has been for many of my fellow Old Angry White Dudes and the barefoot and pregnant gingham prairie dress women who love us , lest they get beat with a stick. As 200 hundred of you loyal rubes are aware, I'm an eternal optimist.  I ALWAYS look at the bright side of life. So I've taken it upon myself as an old angry white guy to point out the top 5 reasons you should be glad Obama won the election.

5.  We are going to be a slimmer nation. Lets face it, we are some fat sombitches. Why else would the first lady have spent the last 4 years telling us to eat our peas and do some jumping jacks. Remember when you were starting out on your own? You left the nest, got that shitty studio apartment, and lived on ramen noodles and bologna? You were lean and mean right? Well as the economy tanks and jobs disappear, so to shall the days of cake and steak. You fat bastards are going to finally get those pesky pounds shed.

4. Comic relief. Laughter is the best medicine. We have 4 more years of Biden. If we are really lucky he might run in 2016.  I can feel you smiling at the computer screen right now.

3. The Ron Paulers and Tea Party people are saying they are going to take over between now and 2016. Hey, nothing says shits and giggles like isolationist foreign policy and tricorn hats. ;)  I'm sure the people who voted for Obama because Romney was going to cut entitlements are gonna love these two groups of "real conservatives". 2016 is in the bag!

2. We can finally declare racism dead! Sure there were all those "I'm gon riot if Romneys wins, or I'm gonna assasinate Romney if he wins" tweets. I was a little worried, I've gotta admit. But the media and the Secret Service is all over that shit, or at least the single anti Obama facebook post where some white woman called Obama the n word.

1. If shit starts to get dicey in the middle east fear not. Potus will just stroll in with his sharp crease and sing a few bars of  "My Girl". Lets face it nothing soothes and calms like the Temptations. Maybe he can challenge Ahmadinejad to a pickup game of horse or a round of golf. Winner gives up their nukes. Fear not, Obama has a hella 3 pointer.

In the words of Lil Orphan Annie and Jay Z, "It's a hard knock life" but at least we can all go to hell in a hand basket, or maybe one of those kick ass Chevy Volts. 

Steady and Solid gets trumped by Shallow, Stupid, and Stubborn.

A million years ago I was a kid spending long hot summers with my maternal grandparents in Oklahoma. At 5, 6, or 7 years old, the world was my oyster even if that world was confined to red sandy dirt, goat head stickers hiding in the grass, waiting for  the bare feet of a young boy, and a sweetly eccentric grandma who smoked Lark cigarettes in a chicken coop. Those were good days. Plenty of bad shit would weave it's way in and out of the ensuing years, but for a few summers things were good. Innocent. My Grandfather was typical Okie stock. Honest, hard working, quiet, solid. Big Smith bib overalls , a denim shirt, wellington boots, a hat outdoors and a bald pate untouched by the sun indoors. He read the paper, watched the news, and on Sundays it was Lawrence Welk and maybe Ed Sullivan. He was the first man I recall admiring,was in awe of. By the time I was 13 or so, a few years prior to his death, well on my way to wild,  my grandpa seemed boring, dull, my admiration dead and done. Most of you know the rest of the story. Reformatories, prisons, wasted years. I haven't set foot in that red Oklahoma dirt in 25 years or better.

Fast forward to now.

If you were to look around you at any given moment of the day chances are you wouldnt see guys cut from the same cloth as my Grandfather.  They aren't standing in line at Starbucks or Panera waiting for their bean sprout and free range chicken panini. They are busy plowing a field or shaping a piece of wood into something useful. The rest of the world is busy trying to keep up with the latest trend or pissing themselves at the effete vision of what passes for the modern, according to Hoyle man. Today its all style, flash, and bullshit.  Steady and solid is looked upon with disdain and derision. Somehow we lost our way. What once mattered when taking the measure of a man has changed.

I'm probably going to ramble too long, but stick with me and I'll get where I'm going.

My Grandfather was a commercial roofer. Hot tar, hot enough to burn you to the bone, mopped onto flat roofs in oppressive Oklahoma summer heat. He employed about a half dozen men cut from the same cloth as himself. Steady. Solid. None of them, including my Grandfather Delbert, graduated high school. They grew up during the depression, school was a luxury their families could ill afford. Everyone worked or everyone starved. Delbert left behind his childhood before it had run it's course. He built a small business. He supported 4 children and a wife. He employed those other like minded men who in turn supported families of their own. I guess you could say Delbert was a hero of sorts, at least that's how I see him in retrospect. In reality he was the rule of his time rather than the exception.

Delbert has been dead and gone for more than 35 years. If he were alive today he would be a minority. a working class white man who believed in God, family, his country. He believed a mans worth hinged on his usefulness, his contribution, his labor. Values that are mocked by the ruling class today. His values, lack of proper education, his anglo roots, his home in fly over country, all would brand him as a hick and probably a racist one to boot. Liberal shit heels from the east and west coasts, along with their lesser lap dog compatriots here in the midwest, hold nothing but contempt, fear, and loathing for men like Delbert.

And here is where I was heading, like it or not. And some of you won't.

The country made a decision a couple of days ago. Try to rebuild what once made this country strong, or stick with the newest new deal. Hard often painful sacrifice, or a giant nest of  angry little birds with their beaks open, demanding to be fed and cared for long after they should have left the nest. Over half the country chose the latter. The media and liberal Americans derided and villified the candidate who built a fortune, saved businesses, cared for his family and complete strangers. A good and decent man. Steady. Solid. Boring by todays standards. They chose instead a modern day definition of a man. Vain, arrogant, lacking humility when it was called for, and full of it when it was least required. This country and a good share of it's people, chose style and bullshit over steady and solid. We lost. We ALL lost.

Now the arm chair quarterbacks, political pundits, and more than a few Tea Party zealots have begun to pick through the bones. Romney was just Obama in white face. He wasn't far right enough. The proof is in his loss. Or so they say.  I say the loss was inevitable because the standard by which we measure and admire a man has become two polar opposites. One the one hand is the weak spined metrosexual who believes we are a country that needs to pay for it's success. Offering alms for the sin of being a great nation.  On the other hand is an uncompromising and angry rabble who stupidly believe that they can bend a majority to capitulate to their all or nothing mentality. Steady and solid have left the building. Stupid and stubborn have taken up residency.

Drifting down the river of denial in a douche canoe....

Lately it takes a lot to get me wound up. The constant and steady barrage of stupidity in the world knows no limits. I've grown jaded, or numb, or just lost the desire to point out that we are surrounded by wobble heads, nimrods, shit heels, and mouth breathers. They walk among us, and while I hold out hope that. we the normal ,still out number, they the clueless, I gotta be honest they are gaining ground. Fast.


Remember Code Pink? The loons who dress up in giant vagina suits and protest anything they deem unfair to the portion of our society who are lucky enough to have Who Haa's. Not for nothin, but if I'd been born with one of those I'd never bother leaving the house.I wouldn't even  need cable or a playstation.  So the Code Pink chicks apparently decided that bitching and moaning over the possibility of paying for their own 9 buck birth control, while noble and proactive just wasn't enough. They planned to sally forth into the world and go global, fix some shit in a third world country. Someplace like Fuckedupistan or Bedrock.  Naturally when a group of  angry feminists and the eunuch men who love em decide to take their show on the road, they choose a place that will be receptive and welcome them with open arms. Pakistan . About three dozen code pinkies are headed toward Pakistan’s militant / Taliban controlled  tribal belt to protest U.S. drone strikes.

“I’m hoping that what (the protest) will show is that the Pakistani people and American people and even the people in the tribal areas want peace,” said Joe Lombardo, a U.S. activist from Delmar, New York.

In response the Taliban has promised to scatter vaginas, both varieties, real and wearable, all over the countryside .

Last  Saturday, a statement from a Taliban faction in eastern Pakistan warned that militants would welcome the protesters with suicide bombings.“We ask the brave people of Waziristan not to side with the gang of Jews and Christians – otherwise their fate will be terrible,” the Punjabi Taliban said in the statement. I'm going to assume that these tards came to their senses or got side tracked doing a reading of the Vagina Monologues for a couple of Bedouin camel herders.  I'd hate to hear the protestors had their empty heads separated from their vegan bodies.

 Truly I would.

But there is a rub, and here it is. These Code Pink people and others of their ilk will go out of their way to "save" those who neither need or want saving. Either at home or abroad. These rescuers of the oppressed. These champions of the down trodden. Never mind that most of the people in these tribal regions would just as soon decapitate these self anointed saviors. A group of super liberals that stand for everything that those being rescued are against. Meanwhile here in their own country, these vagina suit wearing, Sandra Fluke loving, socialist leaning nut bags, posses no limit of vitriol and unbridled hatred for their fellow Americans who dare to hold values that run contrary to their own.

Arab spring goes colder than winter.............

It seems like only yesterday. The media and politicians from both sides of the aisle were fawning over the freedom fighters and discontented youth in Eqypt and Lybia. They were fighting the good fight. They weren't riotous anti American Islamist extremists. Surely the 200 or 300 scumbags who savagely raped and assaulted reporter Lara Logan were thugs from  the Egyptian regime and not the peaceful protestors...Never that. Ms. Logan said later  “What really struck me was how merciless they were. They really enjoyed my pain and suffering. It incited them to more violence.” When reports started to trickle in that Lara was just one of many women raped by mobs in Egypt it hardly made the news. The constant thread running through the media and Washington regarding the Arab spring has been one of valiant youth vs. tyrannic dictators. It was all about democracy. The good fight. When video surfaced of Gaddafi being sodomized with a knife right before being mysteriously shot in the head, ooops, you didn't hear much about the brutality or mindset of the rebels. When U S servicemen foolishly recorded themselves pissing on dead bodies of men who wanted them dead, there was no lack of outrage, no shortage of coverage.

We never really vetted the rebels, the protestors, the brains behind the mobs. The Muslim  Brotherhood runs the show in Egypt and have called for more  peaceful  protests. We lost 4 Americans on 9/11 in Lybia and our allies in Egypt are calling for more protests against us, for a film that has not been seen by the majority of the people who are so enraged and offended over it. The response from our Secretary of State Clinton? Disbelief  that someone we helped liberate would seek us out and murder us. We have apologized profusely, over and over, to Muslims across the globe. Meanwhile at the recent DNC the killing of Bin Laden was touted 20 plus times. We have been taking out radical Islamists with drone attacks on unprecedented levels. Don't get me twisted, I'm okay with that. They need killing. That said, you can't kill these pricks and expect no retaliation.

I was listening to NPR yesterday. They had one of their experts on discussing the recent attacks on our embassies. She went on and on to assure us that this was the work of extremists that hijacked the peaceful protest. So we are to believe that there is a difference between the vast majority of the protestors and the few bad apples scattered amongst them. We deal with them and applaud them as if they were San Fran Liberals protesting for the right to breast feed in public or picketing a chicken joint. We go out of our way to disavow any connection between the mobs at our embassy gates and the animals who seek to harm us during these peaceful protests.  They  are one and the same. They always have been and always will be.

"We love death. The U.S. loves life. That is the difference between us two."
Osama bin Laden

There is a parable most of you have probably heard in one variation or another.  A Scorpion asks a frog to give him a ride across a lake.  The frog says no way, you'll sting me if i let you on my back. The' scorpion promises he wont harm the frog, he just needs a lift across the water because he can't swim. So the frog agrees. Halfway across the lake, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog can't believe it. Just before they both drown the frog asks why the scorpion would seal both of their deaths by that sting. The scorpion replies, it's just my nature. 

Fast Eddie Friday.....Big Foot, Big Vagina, Big Mistake.

 My posts have been as sporadic and spotty as a 50 year old woman's menstrual cycle in the early stages of menopause.  Before one of you clowns start trying to school me on menopause, menses, or the inner workings of a woman's front butt , that's a medical term, just stop. Everybody thinks they are an editor or a gynecologist, or Helen Gurley Brown. Clearly, blogging has taken a back seat to life, work, and an overall lack of  motivation. So it was going to take something BIG, something monumental, to get me back in the saddle. And here it is...........................

This is a Bigfoot. A Sasquatch. A skunk Monkey.

This is a dude in a military camo outfit known as a ghillie suit.

This is a douche bag.

So is this. But I digress...

If you mix those ingredients together, you get hilarity........and death.... or natural selection, give it a name. From an area of Montana known as "Flathead" comes the following.........


Randy Lee Tenley, 44 of Flathead county Montana was  trying to spark a Bigfoot hoax. He put on a ghillie suit. Stood in the middle of the road. At night no less. He was promptly run over by a 15 year old girl. A second vehicle followed, driven by a 17 year old girl, who proceeded to run over him again. The  first girl who hit Randy Lee wasn't able to swerve out of the way in time. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that the second girl just figured he was a fucked up looking pile of brush. And let's face it, at that point he was. Either way, if you are drunk enough and stupid enough, to stand in the middle of the interstate, at night, in a fucking camo suit, you really deserve to get turned into road kill. And he was.
Now, several thoughts come to mind upon reading this story of the late Randy Lee Teneley.
1. Why is a 15 year old girl driving at night?
2. Randy was drunk. I mean he had to be, right? I suppose you could argue that he was stupid, or retarded, and one doesn't necessarily preclude the other..
3. Serial killers, assassins, and dull witted Bigfoot hoaxers are always referred to by their full names. James Earl Ray, John Wayne Gacy, Randy Lee Tenely.
4. Finally, in a sad statement on the lives of Flatheadians, Flatheaders (?), Randy Lee will be remembered for generations. His story will be told and his legend will grow. Not unlike Bigfoot.  Hell there may come a time when they have a festival or special day in remembrance of the guy.


In keeping with the suit and douche bag theme. This is a giant vagina suit with a douche bag inside.

In Florida the Occupy Wall Street goons were busy protesting the RNC.  While some of the women were as hairy as Big Foot, and most of the protesters in comparison  probably made Sasquatch smell like he was wearing chanel # 5, but  it was their suit of choice that really made a statement.  Vaginas. Great big honkin who haa's.  When you really want to be taken seriously, nothing, and I mean nothing, says " we are a force to be reckoned with"  like dressing up in a giant foam disembodied vagina.   

 

Here in our fair city we were not to be blessed with giant protesting vaginas that actually look more like wads of gum. There were about 50 or so Occupy nimrods parading through the Country Club Plaza holding one of the most unfortunate, poorly worded signs possible.........

Using the word WELFARE at the top of your banner does not make people sympathetic to your cause.  What it does do is make you look like a bunch of deadbeats protesting in the middle of a weekday, when you should be out looking for a job. I suggest you  break out the big vagina suits if you want to be taken seriously. Also, standing in front of a place of business, impeding the commerce of said business, and generally pissing on the livelihood of the fellow "99ers" who are working inside said business, just makes you look like a bunch of petulant shit heels.         So kudos for that.

Aurora. That's just the way it is and there is nothing you can do to change it.

The mass murder in Aurora last week. The inexplicable unfathomable enormity of what happened has drawn the typical reaction. Explain it away. Affix blame. Then claim to have the solution to prevent it. If we had tighter gun control. Hell ban em all together. If there were no guns this never would have happened. It's all the violence on TV, movies, video games, music. Gun rights advocates are to blame. Hollywood is to blame. Bad parenting. Liberal teachers. Maybe we can blame this one on Bush. Blame it on Obama. We have to blame it on someone. He couldn't have killed all those people if not for his  AR 15 or his Glock.  Some try to explain it and fix it in order to assuage their own fear. Like whistling past the graveyard. Impotent and ineffectual.  Others claim to have the answers, the solution to stop such a horror from ever taking place again. An onion of a lie beneath a thin skin of truth. Peel back a few layers and find the hidden agenda.

Chicago enacted a handgun freeze. In 1992, led by Mayor Richard M. Daley, the Chicago City Council voted to ban assault weapons. Contests over gun control continued in 1998, when the city and Cook County filed a lawsuit against gun manufacturers. Chicago is currently the murder capital of the Country. Most of the murders in Chicago are committed with guns. Illegal guns. Bans don't work because criminals don't play by the same set of rules.

The mental health people are claiming we need to focus on getting folks better access to mental health care. Presumably the insane and sociopaths will clamber to get treatment if we just advocate it and throw money at it. But you can't legislate crazy. You can't get the potential mass murderer to take his meds if you come up with catchy ads or offer free Ipods.

The truth.
There have always been and there will continue to be, those among us who march to some crazy music that plays on a continuous loop in their twisted minds. They will take up box cutters in the name of their God and fly planes into skyscrapers. They will load a van with fertilizer and diesel, then blow up a federal building. They will snap when that Goddamn baby cries one time too many. They will decide that it is perfectly reasonable to murder their families in their sleep. One by one, starting with the wife, then the eldest child to the youngest. We are humans. The best of us are capable of wondrous things. Some of us are just as capable of  the very worst.

The truth.
You can catch some before they snap. But it's only by accident. A soon to be serial killer is stopped before he draws his first taste of blood after he goes to prison for burglary. May be he commits suicide or gets killed inside, or dies of a stroke. But it's all chance and it's always an unknown. That guy you bump into boarding the bus. That lady you pass in the produce section. In a day, a week, 10 years, may well be the next perpetrator of some hideous act that nobody saw coming.

The truth
The Blue Whale is the largest living creature on earth. It has a throat the size of a small plate, just inches in diameter. It spends its entire life feeding. If it stops it dies.
Know why?
Because that's just the way it is, and there is nothing anyone can do to change it.

People with bad intentions and warped psyche will always find a means to reach their end.
That's just the way IT IS. Nothing anyone can do to change it.

Fast Eddie Friday...we have met the enemy, he is us, and man are we screwed.

Just when you rubes were about to give up and start reading mommy blogs, I'm back, like a planters wart.  So let's get to it. Fast and loose, like an Indy avenue hooker.

These are dark times we are in, and by dark, I mean the dark walnut brown leathery mess pictured above.  Patricia Krentcil is the, crazier than a shit house rat, New Jersey broad who has been charged with child endangerment, for taking her kid into a tanning booth, which allegedly resulted in the young spawn getting skin burns. Patty cakes Krentcil denies she did any such thing. Her defense is the following quote, "They're jealous, they're fat and they're ugly". They, being everyone in America.  Nuff said, the defense rests. Look, I don't want to be a hypocrite, I used the tanning booths myself, not for a few years, but there was a time when I tried to hide the fact that I was so white I made Casper look like a Swahili. I've since come to embrace my whiter shade of pale, but when I was tanning I didn't do like this jersey broad, who must stuff one of those turkey thermometers up her bidness and not come out until the little blue "it's done" indicator pops up. Hell, I even wore a sock over my unit so as not to burn my frank and beans. It was a tube sock, in case you were wondering. One of those over the knee jobs with the stripes up top, like your dad wears with his red sansabelt coach shorts. As for Ms. Krentcil, the state should take her kid, and remove her uterus with with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch. There's no tube sock big enough to cover up that much dumb and ugly.  I could riff on this walking beef jerky all day, but I've got other fish to fry.

 This next group of shit heels is brought to you by the Occupy Wall Street Movement. Oddly, the recent May Day shenanigans , rioting, looting, and general mayhem has received scant coverage in the mainstream media. I'm not going to waste much time or bandwidth on these dick wads. They can drop that 99 percent bullshit, or at least reduce it by whatever minuscule percentile it takes to remove my broke ass from the equation. While the majority of the OWS crowd may just be a bunch of whiny, self entitled, think the world owes them somethings, shit draws flies, and OWS is responsible for any acts of violence, terrorism, and crime that results from their rhetoric. Normally I'd just clown on these clowns for a couple of paragraphs, but I'm in a transitional period, and I'm here to help. So listen up OWS, There is no utopia, the world doesn't owe you dick, nada, zip, zilch. If you don't want 150 k in student loan debt for your worthless degree in the Arts or whatever bullshit you studied in between bangin patchouli oil laden hairy pitted hippy broads with a single name like Moonbeam or Azure, then try going to a community college and earning a sensible degree that is actually worth something.

Bullying, it's the hot new issue that we can't get enough of.  In fact it's blown up so big in the media it now extends beyond kids picking on kids, or coworkers, or whoever. There is a dolphin in southern California who is the victim of bullying. Before you think the perp is some fat kid that smells like pee, who is running around snatching fish out of Flippers mouth, it's far more sinister. Here's the money quote from Peter Wallerstein, director of the Friends of Animals Marine Animal Rescue program in El Segundo. “This dolphin was intimidated,” “We’re not concerned about the health of the animal right now,” he said. “We don’t want to force the animal out only to have a potential confrontation with the other dolphins that might be in the harbor...We want to do the best thing for the animal.”  Hey Pete, not for nothin, but the best thing you can do is  let the dolphins sort their own shit out.  At this rate it won't be long before we see Pilot whales running around with co exist bumper stickers on their flukes, shooting rainbow skittle out of their blowholes.

I know what you are thinking. "what is the connection between, leather face, OWS shit weasels, and bullied fish mammals?"  Well allow me to explain it to you. This country is going to hell in a hand basket. The tannorexic woman and the bullied dolphin received as much or more news coverage than the rioting, looting, and home grown terrorism that OWS has morphed into. If that isn't a sign that this countries priorities are as fucked up as a soup sandwich, then I don't know what to tell ya.

Can we get an Attorney General, a protest, or hoodie for this guy?

That was the edited down version of an incident that took place during St. Paddy day in Baltimore. The entire video ends with the guy getting his watch, cash, and car keys ripped off, along with his clothes. But this is a family blog, and the nudity seemed gratuitous. So a very drunk, not particularly bright white guy ends up in downtown B'mo. Clearly this guy is out of his element, an out of towner who was so wasted he doesnt even recall the incident. I'm including these details because I wasn't able to get a picture of him at 12 during his first communion. So I work with what I've got. A drunk white guy in an unfortunate Mt. Dew t shirt, which is what he should have been drinking instead of Jameson and green jello shots. That said, he wasn't breaking any laws, just standing there, swaying, trying to figure out why some strange hood rat was doing the booty grind on him.

He gets clocked, then they swarm on him like a pack of wolves.

Keep that video in your mind, let it play on a continuous loop.

Suppose the video had taken a different twist. Lets say the dude gets knocked ass over tea kettle. just as the crowd swarms him he comes to his senses. Draws a gun. Puts a few of them down. Not down wounded. Down as in done.

Would it have been justified?

What if the victim had been black? His attackers white. do you think that this video would have received more play beyond the local Baltimore stations and the internet?

I've got a point, other than the one atop my bulbous misshapen white dome.  So stick with me and try to keep up. 

There is a vast expanse that divides the two camps in the Trayvon Martin case. On the one side, you have a whole lot of pissed off black folks. Add to this already volatile mix, a generous helping of liberal, white guilt laden apologists. Shake and serve with a sprig of irony. Serve to anyone dumb enough to drink it. The original cry was Justice for Trayvon, and by justice they meant an arrest. Now that Martin has been arrested, there will be a new call for justice. Justice this time will mean a conviction of 2nd degree murder. Anything less, and there will be hell to pay. The media will continue to do it's best to misrepresent, misinform, and polarize.

On the other side of the expanse, you have a group of white folks who are scratching their heads, wondering why THIS case is so important, so egregious that the Attorney General of the United States has not only weighed in, but is actively steering it. Holder recently spoke in front of a group founded by Al Sharpton. He promised the audience the feds would pursue charges if at all possible. I'm paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it. Why the AG would be speaking or associated with anything related to Al is as perplexing and disturbing as any element in the Trayvon/Zimmerman case. The President has added fuel to the fire. He stuck his nose into the Police vs. Gates debacle. Called the cop stupid, sided with Gates. Then along comes this most recent mess. Obama does not disappoint. He says if he had a son, he would look like Trayvon. His imaginary son might also look like the hoods in the video above. The stunner is why  the AG or the President feel the need to comment on  the case, yet have remained mute about the bounty and dead or alive comments from the new and improved Black Panthers.  Neither Holder nor Obama have bothered to comment or take action regarding the racially motivated crimes like Knockout King or Polar Bear hunting. They have not commented, at least not that I recall, on the inordinate number of crimes committed by and against a small minority of this nation.

Nothing in the Trayvon Martin case passes the smell test, which is not to say that Trayvon deserved to die, or that Zimmerman was or was not justified in the shooting. The problem is that the media has spoon fed and misinformed. They edited a tape on MSNBC to make Zimmerman appear to be focusing on Trayvons race. They still continue to post Trayvons photo from several years passed. A smiling young boy from the past, not the 6ft plus young black man who tweeted under the moniker of no limit nigga.

There won't be any clear cut, untainted justice in this case. The die has been cast.  any juror who finds Zimmerman Not Guilty will be subjected to public outrage, maybe a bounty, maybe death threats, maybe more than threats. The very same people who claim they only sought an arrest, justice, will be in that courtroom, outside the courtroom,  protesting/marching, pissing and moaning. They will force a guilty verdict. Should Zimmerman manage to be found not guilty, Holder, the Potus, and the justice dept. will come after Zimmerman for violating Trayvons civil rights. This case ends badly for Zimmerman, guilty or not. It also ends badly for this country, guilty or not. We are miles apart, the distance growing greater with the selective outrage over a single killing, while ignoring the ongoing killing and violence perpetrated on a daily basis by young black males that would look just like our Presidents son, if he had one.

Trayvon Martin, George Zimmerman...The circus comes to town.

A few facts remain constant in the Trayvon Martin case.  Martin is dead.  Zimmerman, the shooter, might as well be. The vast expanse that divides working class whites and urban blacks has never been more apparent. The longer this case drags on, and there seems to be no end in sight, the better chance it ends ala Rodney King L.A. riot style. Despite the hand wringing, media stoked outrage, and calls for justice, this case ends badly, justice has fled the scene. The media and assorted shit heels like slick Al Sharpton and various celebutards like Spike Lee and Ray Lewis,( seriously, Ray Lewis?) are all piling on the Trayvon Martin bandwagon. Before you get me twisted, this isn't an indictment against Martin or support for Zimmerman. The facts are trickling out, conflicting accounts from eye/ear witnesses. Zimmerman was out to kill a black kid vs. a black kid was out to whoop a white dude. Passions are running high, regardless of where you fall in the court of public opinion and perception.  As for me, I'm not sure what happened, only a few really know and at least one of them is dead.

Now Martins parents are headed to Washington to meet with the congressional black caucus. When is the last time the congressional black caucus met a pair of black parents who lost their child at the hands of another black male? I mean it's the leading cause of death of young black guys.
 Martins mother filed for trademarks on the "I am Trayvon" slogan.
Spike Lee tweeted Zimmermans address.

The New Black Panther Party has issued a wanted poster and 10k bounty for Zimmerman.
Somewhere in the heat of all the frustration and media stoked rage, the President weighed in. He informed us if he had a son he would look like Trayvon. He passed on the opportunity to call for cooler heads, or to denounce the hype and hyperbole of race baiters like King Louie Farrakhan who tweeted a not so veiled threat about retribution and some good old fashioned eye for an eye payback.

So the Trayvon Martin case has fewer similarities with Emmit Till or James Byrd Jr, and is becoming more and more about cashing in and pandering for votes.

There was a big vigil on the Plaza last night, one of many throughout the country. The Mayor was there. I couldn't help but wonder what many surely must be thinking but dare not utter, "Why all the outrage and emotion over a single killing, when there are so many here at home?" If you are looking for something to be outraged over, and not for nothing that's exactly what is motivating a good share of these protests, then how about a little outrage over the baby  who was recently shot, his mother and another person killed. Or how about the kids who sat in the back seat of the car as their parents were gunned down in the front seat, in broad daylight? The local media gave scant coverage to these recent KC atrocities. Meanwhile, the national media, Congressional black caucus leader and detector of Satan sandwiches Emmanuel Cleaver, and all of the other  assorted politicians, activists and shit heels of every stripe, have pretty much remained mute and absent.

The answer is easy. People only care when it can benefit them or their cause. Once that train starts rolling it doesn't stop until it arrives at Sanctimonious Bullshit Central.  There also weren't any mass national vigils for the 70 something Asian man killed by black youth during a game of knockout king in St. Louis, or any number of cold blooded crimes, at any time of day or night, all over the country.

They say Trayvon Martin has become a symbol. If by symbol they mean, the racist killing of a black kid by a semi white guy, they are wrong.  If by symbol they mean, a glaring display of Media, political, and mass public hypocrisy, then bingo, hit that nail on the head. When you latch on to a single, rare, isolated incident, while ignoring the mass extermination of a particular racial/age group, you are as full of shit as a Christmas goose, and as counterfeit as the ring masters of what has become a circus. Justice, like Elvis, has left the building, whatever the outcome in this case, justice won't play a role in it. So for those demanding an arrest or payback, absent all of the facts, stop calling for justice. Justice isn't what you want, you want blood, you want to affix blame, you want to assuage your white guilt or black anger. If you wanted justice, you would let it run it's course, not rush to it. So give it a name, payback, blood, eye for an eye, just don't confuse it with actual justice. That train left the station before the facts had a chance, and it ain't coming back.

Two kinds of crazy............

Some people you can take one look at and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are as crazy as a shit house rat.

 

I rest my case.





Meet Meredith Lowell, 27, of Cleveland Heights. She is an animal rights activist, Her convictions, like her Patchouli oil, are strong. She believes that freeing animals from fur farms, medical labs, zoo's, your back yard, is not unlike the freeing of the Jews from concentration camps. Meredith started a face book page to solicit a hit man, or woman to shoot or slit the throat of a fur wearer. Said fur wearer needed to be at least 13, preferably 14 or older. I think the age limit has less to do with killing a kid, and more to do with the fact that a 12 year old might not leave a big enough mess when they bled out.  Her plan was to be in the area when the killing took place, then she would pass out leaflets until the cops hauled her ass away to the booby hatch.  Meredith  hoped to be arrested so she could call attention to her beliefs and to get out of the home she shared with her parents and brothers who eat meat and eggs and use fur, leather and wool, investigators said. Apparently her convictions were strong, but her motivation to get a fucking job and move out on her own were not.

On the opposite end of the spectrum we have this guy.

I rest my case, again.

 Rep. Bob Morris, a Republican representing Fort Wayne. Morris is raising a ruckus over the Girl Scouts, because their agenda is promoting communism, lesbianism and subverting "traditional American family values," .  Apparently Planned Parenthood is in cahoots with the Girl Scouts to turn all the little darlins into Canyon Yodelers and Feminazis. I'm not sure why PP is involved with the Girl Scouts, but I'm guessing they are spiking those overpriced cookies with Ru480 and estrogen. Which explains why I have started to develop man breasts and spend lots of time at Camp Lickasnatchee. Which is Indian for, "If I was a dinosaur I'd be a lickalottapuss". And by Indian I mean Casino Indian not 7/11 Indian.

I'd pay cash money to sit in on a debate between Meredith and Bob. I'm pretty sure it would turn bad about the time Bob started quoting his family values dogma, and Meredith bit his face  off for wearing leather wing tips.

Before you smug libs think you got away clean, lets talk about Maxine Waters.

Maxine hates white folks, alot. If you are a conservative cracker, then you are especially vile in Maxines world.   "I saw pictures of Boehner and Cantor on our screens," she said at a Democratic Party event in California, referring to screens at the events. "Don't ever let me see again, in life, those Republicans in our hall, on our screens, talking about anything. These are demons. These are legislators who are destroying this country."  Maxine, who is under ethics investigations, but only because she is a strong black woman, has built her career around saying outlandish and inflammatory, racist shit. If you think this woman is sane, you're crazier than she is.

My point, and I actually have one............. There are two kinds of crazy. Meredith is typical crazy. A loner, slipping under the radar, with her fucked up ideology until she does something stupid like try to hire a killer through facebook.  Bob and Maxine would also fall into that category except for one important detail.  The last two nimrods have a voice beyond crazy ramblings on facebook, or Myspace, heh. The reason Bob and Maxine have a voice is because the morons in their particular districts voted them into office. Maxine, more than once. That shit is scarier than a whole busload of tofu eating, cardboard shoe wearing, hippy activists.

The fact that there are people who have twisted, fucked up as a soup sandwich ideology and beliefs is nothing new or surprising. What is surprising and more than a little disturbing, is that there are enough like minded  slack jawed doofus voters to put these clowns in office. The people of each party who are supposed to be normal, love to point out the crazy on the other side, while ignoring the crazy within their own party.  Which is why I will be leaving the country for Amsterdam, as soon as I can get off that no fly list from the time I cussed out the Expedia customer service rep  in India. Which was a total bullshit call from the TSA given the fact that the dude clearly couldn't understand English. 

the Double M manifesto to the 14 year old troll living in our house

Most if not all of you rubes are unaware that my girlfriends 14 year old lives with us.  She has decided it's time to test the waters in the the Sea of Boundaries. I won't get into the details of her recent escapades. Suffice to say she is still as pure as the undriven snow when compared to my 14 year old, juvenile delinquent self. I'm no doctor Spock. But my love is as tough as a 2 buck steak from Aldis.  When she arrives from her hiatus from Never Never Land where no is a 4 letter word, or as she likes to call it, Dads house, she will be greeted with a pristine room and the following Manifesto. .................................................................................................
                  .................................................................................................

We took a picture of your room, so you can remember how everything needs to go back in it’s place, no later than 10 PM…. That’s 10 at night just in case you were wondering.

Listed below are the new and improved rules and guidelines. You are expected to follow these rules and guidelines. Failing to do so will result in your losing

EVERYTHING !!!

Everything is defined as but not limited to the following.

TV

Phone

Computer

X box

Nintendo

PS2 3. Etc.

I POD

The I POD you either lost, traded for dope, or sold. The I POD probably isn’t important since you won’t be getting another one until you pay 350.00 for the one you allegedly LOST. Should you trick someone into buying you one, it will be confiscated by management until you come clean about what happened to the last one.

CONTRABAND

Contraband is defined as anything you are not supposed to be in possession of. You can review the list above as the penalties for contraband are the same. The only difference is you loose your door and gain a dog gate if any of the following is found in your room or person.

Drugs

Weed

Cigs

Booze

Weapons

Lighters

Guns

1. Room must be clean by 10 each night.

Clean means free of juice boxes, straw wrappers, trash, etc. See the picture. No clothes floor. Etc.

2. NO FOOD ALLOWED IN ROOM.

No plates, candy, chips, nothing.

We are not trying to start an ant and roach farm. The NO FOOD rule will be reviewed on a monthly basis. Keep your room clean and free of trash and debris and we may relax this rule.

3. Home Work… Must be started at 530 pm. No x box, computer, TV or non existent I pod allowed after 530 until home work is done. If you do not have home work, bring a text book from one of the multitude of classes you are currently failing and we will give you home work. All home work must be viewed by one of the management team.

ATTITUDE

We get it, you’re 14. It’s a part of your DNA to act like you hate us, unless you want something. We’re okay with that, we get it. What we wont play is the tired old “ I’m a disrespectful angry nimrod game”. You are well within your constitutional rights to act all angsty, dark, and moody. You could argue it is a free speech issue that allows you to treat those who pay your way in life, as if they were here to serve you. Unfortunately, this is not a democratic household. It is a dictatorship. We don’t care about your constitutional rights. Check the news, read up on Syria. We will squash your rebellion, like so many rock throwing middle easterners. If you actually kept up on current events, you would realize just how funny that last line was.





We have bent over backwards to give you a nice home, food, an unending supply of 30 dollar black t shirts with stupid band names like “ The Bitter Sphincters or Drucillas Venereal Warts”. If children in a third world country had a tenth of the shit you have, they would either try to eat it, or trade it for a skinny goat.

You have betrayed our trust, disrespected our property, disregarded our rules, and mistaken our kindness for weakness. Those days are but a fleeting memory. You will comply with our rules and expectations, or face dire consequences. You will treat your mother with respect and show a little appreciation, rather than acting like a self entitled spoiled brat.

Do as you are told, follow your rules, and you can expect things to get back to normal in short time, once your grades have reached at least a C, no C-, a C, or higher. Buck the system, fight the power, rage against the machine, and you shall think a ton of brick hath fallen upon you.

Not Hardly Bullshittin

The Management

Mom and Mark.

PS You may get a break once a week when you go to your fathers, but I’d neither count on it or expect it. He’s got your number now as well. Your welcome.

PSS We realize the above text has made you none to pleased. Too bad. You have repeatedly pissed in your Corn Flakes, don’t blame us if they are soggy. We would prefer to be able to trust you to do the right thing at least half the time. We can’t. Until we can, until your grades are up to par, Camp Happy is closed. SHU program. 23 hour lock down. King Kong aint got shit on us.

We still love ya, just tired of the bullshit. It ends today.

..................................................................................................................................
Note to readers.  Thanks for your outpouring of condolences over the loss of Max. 

Max 2001 to 2012 A real world shaker......

This morning, a little after nine, the world became a little less bright. Max the Yorkie slipped this mortal coil. I wanted to write this while the loss was raw, the wounds fresh, my ego and machismo momentarily absent. Max deserved an honest eulogy, and that's what I intend to give him now. 

Max came to me through a former girlfriend back in 2001.  He was  with me from his birth to his death, just shy of 11 years. 4.5 pounds of hair, piss, vinegar, and a heart that knew no fear. For all his heart and undying loyalty, in the end it was a bum pair of kidneys that finally got the best of him. I knew it was coming.  Friday I knew for certain, but I couldn't bring myself to make the short trip to the vet. I needed to be sure and I needed to finish saying goodbye. He ate rib eye steak all weekend, slept in my lap, and looked at me through his dark little eyes, in my mind telling me he would wait until I was ready. So it was with a heavy heart that we took that last ride together this morning. In the end, at that instant prior to drifting away, he was brave and calm. I was neither. The same vet who managed to bring Max back from the brink of death a year or so previous, was the same who helped me do what had to be done.

You have to know the type of person I was when I was released from prison back in 2000, to understand the real impact that little dog had on me. A career criminal, morally bankrupt, self serving, unable to rise above childhood scars and a misguided anger at the world. The first few years I was out, even at the inception of this blog, there were times I almost fell back into my old ways. A series of low  paying, back breaking jobs that I was lucky to have. The knowledge that I could hustle more money in a few hours than I'd earn honestly in a year, was a temptation that I faced on a daily basis.  The fear of dying old and alone in prison is a convict and criminals worst fear. It's like the fear square world people have of dying old and alone in a nursing home, surrounded by strangers, fluorescent lighting, and an institutional smell constantly in the air.  But that fear isn't always enough to keep a guy like me from back sliding.  While that fear was a big part of my turn around, it was Max that probably kept my mind right. Those first few years I had built such an attachment to him, there was no way I'd risk being separated from him. So I swallowed my misplaced pride and inflated ego. Eventually I started to fit in. I found a voice that a few hundred people a day bothered to read.  In the end, you can credit a 4.5 pound Yorkie for doing what 30 years of social workers, institutions, prisons, judges, police and parole officers could not do.

Winter days are short, night envelopes me as I pull  in front of our house after work every evening. Warm light glows through the frosted glass of a bay window.  My girlfriend, soon to be wife, is often there to greet me, if she isn't at work. It's home, a normal  home, something I lacked most of my adult life.  You can see the shadows of 3 dogs in that bay window back lit by the light inside.  A large shadow, a smaller shadow, then one yet smaller still. Max would wait in that window until he heard my key slide in the lock of the front door. As the door opened, he was always, always, right there waiting. I'm dreading that first night when I pull up out front, 2 shadows waiting, the smallest one no longer there, leaving an empty space which can never be filled. I loved that little dog.

I'll miss ya Max.

The fading and forgotten.

I'm working on putting together a series on some of the dead and dying rural areas around Missouri. My problem is time, I don't have enough of it.  I've always loved documentng the dead and dying areas of this city. I'm going to get back to that in the near future. I'm finding more than a few dead and dying places in my rural travels across the northern part of the state. I'm working on covering these as well.  I did find one place on the edge of the city that is about to become another suburban stuccoed McStrip mall.  I've been meaning to look around the property for years now. This past weekend I drove out there only to find that some of the buildings have been bulldozed. I snapped a few shots. I'll be going back this weekend and I'll write more on it then. For now, here's just a teaser of that place and a few  of the dead and dying areas I'll be covering later.

This place has been abandoned for a long long time, over a decade. It's as if the occupants left one day and forgot to come back. Forgot to take anything with them.

The roof and second floor is falling in. The house and outbuildings are filled with probably 100 grand in antiques. Or I should say, they were once filled with 100 grand in antique furniture. Not a single piece is worth a dime now. Vandals and time have exacted a heavy toll. Now it's just crumbling, rotting, someones once elegant surroundings gone to seed. I'll get more up tomorrow.

The number of towns dying on the vine to our north is astounding. More on those tomorrow.

Uncle Ed is Dead.

I wasn't going to write about the recent news of Ed (Uncle Ed) Muscare's death. He died in prison. I'd be lying if  I said  the news didn't give me a moments pause, a twinge of guilt even. Don't get me twisted, the twinge of guilt came not from the fact that an aged convicted pedophile died in prison, that's as good a place as any. The twinge of guilt was the realization that I ratted someone out.  Since I was a kid, I never ratted anyone out. It went against my grain. That said, and as unfortunate as the ending is, I think it's probably one of the few selfless, decent, albeit accidental  acts Ive ever been guilty of. 

Here's a quick primer for those of you who aren't familiar with Muscare.  Ed Muscare was a local KC TV personality. He had a children's program and he did the late night fright movie on Friday nights, back when Me and Jesus were in short pants. So Ed moves away, catches a beef for sexual battery on a child. He does a stretch, gets out. He moves without notifying his parole officer, catches yet another beef. He moves again , no notice, fails to register, he goes away again. He gets out and starts posting creepy shit on YouTube. I wrote a post, website Fark picks it up. It goes viral. The majority of his YouTube subscribers are kids, teenagers. Turns out, Uncle Ed isn't supposed to have Internet, and especially Internet interaction with kids. He gets a nickle. He died in prison a few days ago. I played a tiny role in his last conviction. I didn't go all Simon Wiesenthal on his ass. I didn't lurk in the bushes doing surveillance. I just dropped the dime that started the ball rolling. This link goes to all or most of my posts on Ed Muscare.   The MM / Ed Muscare saga.  

Look, I was pretty candid about my childhood run in with a similar version of Muscare. Kids getting molested is nothing new. It isn't rare.  If your lucky, you move on with a few scars and fucked up memories. If you are unlucky, it rules the rest of your life. I mostly moved on .Other than a few nights, deep in a bottle when I almost paid an old freak a wake up visit, I moved on. There was nothing unique about my story, or Ed's victims story, or any of those before or after. The storyline is always, always, always the same. It ends bad for the kid. It can never end badly enough for the Pedo. I can't tell you the number of emails I got from Ed's fan base. Whatever he did, it didn't matter. He did his time. I was a prick, a dick, and several variations of mother fuckers.  I also got several emails from a couple of different people who claimed they had fallen victim to Ed or someone like him. I don't have the time or inclination to look into those claims. That said, it's pretty rare for someone to get caught right out of the gate, first time.

There are different levels of crime. All of them are wrong headed, bad, anti social things. I get it. We all get it. Some crimes, most crimes, you can find a way back to the light. One serious brush with the law is enough for most people. Some like me, the slow and dull witted, it takes longer, half a lifetime. But eventually, you can fit back in with the world. Your past never goes away, it pops up in job interviews, background checks, the routine traffic stop that results in your prior felony alert pinging in the cops radio. I'd been out for about a year when I got pulled over for having a brake light out. Some country cop in Drexel Mo. He had me face down on a gravel road while he tossed my car. Nothing to find. A condition of my federal parole, submit to all searches by the police. It's part of the price you pay.  Your past never goes away, but it fades and dims with time.


You steal, lie, put your hands on someone in anger, a million crimes, you can eventually see them fade, dim with time. Ed wasn't guilty of one of those. He fell into the category of crimes and horrific shit you should never do. Child molesters, rapists, people who kill for pleasure or profit, those are the crimes that never really end. The gift curse that keeps on giving.   For every person who understands that, there are dozens of  slack jawed morons, who, just, don't, get it. Ironically, they also make the best victims.  Go figure.

Fast Eddie Friday....the early edition.

Before one of you clowns point out that it's Thursday and my title is premature or just plain wrong, put a sock in it. Nobody is going to read this shit on a Friday before Christmas. So Santa came early, heh. Lots to cover. So here we go , fast and loose.

Pulling out early can sometimes be a good thing, at least for the person pulling out early. The party who was pulled out early on however is often left dissatisfied and feeling a bit used, with a big mess on their hands. Right now the folks in Iraq are feeling that way I imagine. This headline greeted me this morning. "A wave of bombings ripped across Baghdad on Thursday morning, killing at least 60 people and injuring more than 150 in the worst violence Iraq has seen for months. The bloodbath comes just days after American forces left the country."  Just days after the withdrawal, Iraq's fragile power-sharing government is grappling with its worst turmoil since its formation a year ago. Shiite, Sunni and Kurdish honchos are at each others throats. Start the clock on another chapter in the so called Arab spring.  Egypt Arab spring sprung a leak, and the mooslip brotherhood has the people riled up at the military. They are back in the street, raising hell, and calling for another overthrow. This time it's the Military they hate, the same military they were praising just a few months ago. We continue to stick our beaks into other folks business. Hillary Clinton is complaining about the Egyptian military beating women, yet she never uttered a fucking negative peep, when the Freedom Seekers were raping our female reporters during their previous riots.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again, " You can't reason with people who are so backward they think the Flintstones is a documentary." Millions of women and children are raped and murdered in the Congo, Darfur, and a dozen other African shit holes, yet we remain mostly mute. Toss in a few million barrels of oil and all a sudden we are the defenders of freedom.  While our POTUS pats himself on the back for bringing home the troops, shit is going from bad to worse less than a week since the last American boot left the ground. 

But fear not, there is hope and solace to be found in this fucked up soup sandwich. We can just blame it all on Bush. After all, that's been the standard line of defense for every fuck up and ill conceived plan by the current admin. So why fuck with prosperity at this point?

But you rubes don't come here for my world views. You come here for one liners, fucked up analogies, and the occasional ride through the gutters of prison stories and crimes once committed.  I think that's where I've run off the tracks. Lost my mojo. Misplaced my desire to write, Anything, the past few months.  So, beginning 2012, we are going to get back to the type of stuff that made this blog whatever the fuck it was, which is still open to debate.  In the new year look for more blight posts, crime posts, and more than a little bloviating and self promotion. 

For now go read THIS. Do it Now. 

I don't promote many sites or writers on this blog. Hell, I rarely post a link anymore. But this guy can write. I first read his Christmas Story in 2008. I've been a fan ever since. The writer suffered a near fatal heart attack recently. Thankfully he is still around. A finer writer you won't find on the internet.

See you rubes next year.
Mark Smith
Midtown Miscreant

The Duggars, the fetus, and my Aunt Dixies cat

I'm pretty sure the last time I penned a missive about the Duggars, I robbed a line from somewhere on the inner nets. Something about how the Lady Duggar had a Who Haa that must resemble the Holland Tunnel or a clown car, or something. I could go back and search through my massive archive, but this is a blog, not Dateline NBC.  If I didn't say it, I should have. Given that this is a blog, and beings this is the Internet, the following post may seem needlessly cruel, judgemental, and pointless. All of which makes it perfect Internet fodder.

By now those of you who follow this kind of non news gossipy shit already know about it, those of you who are inclined to steer clear of non news gossipy shit, most likely don't read the tripe I write in the first place, so I'm not too concerned about offending anyone, not that I ever do worry about it anyway.  Anywho, the Duggars are the freaks who have a reality show based on the fact that they keep having kids. 19 or 20 so far. I'm pretty sure they are neither catholic  or "undocumented" which pretty much are one in the same anyway. That said, just to be on the safe side, maybe that reality show Border Wars should consider setting up a checkpoint in this ladys cooch, which is probably shored up with beams and timber to keep it from collapsing in on itself, possibly trapping several miners or drug smugglers.

But I digress. The Duggar baby factory had a glitch on the assembly line, and she miscarried. I'm not sure what went wrong, but i suspect the conveyor belt broke and trapped the lil guy, or it's quite possible he got mugged or something, since I'm certain there is at least a small village up in that thang. Hey, if I'm glib it's because anyone who is so fucked up that they would bring 20 kids into this already crowded world, are pretty much the epitome of glibness. Lets face it, even if they can afford 20 kids, eventually the reality gravy train is going to jump the tracks. Then what? I suppose with 20 kids you could move to Indochina and set up your own tennis shoe factory. But the Asians wouldn't really welcome a small herd of missionary/breeders that are so fucking white bread white they make Rick Perry look like Tupac. Point being, eventually this shit is gonna cost somebody.

So Mrs. Duggar had a miscarriage. The family decided to hold a memorial.  All semi normal so far. Then they slapped this picture on the memorial notice they sent out.

Are you kidding me? Fetus feet? Is it just me, or if you photo shop some ketchup and chicken giblets onto the photo, blow it up onto some dayglo poster board, and put God Hates Fags in sparkle letters across the top, it would look like a sign from the Phelps klan. Who in their right mind thinks it's okay, even emotionally moving, to pinch your dead fetus little feet between your thumb and pointy finger, then snap a photo, and share it with the world?

"But M M, have a heart. They lost a baby".

My aunt had a cat when I was a kid. She never got the cat fixed, which may not even have been an option back in the dark ages of my childhood. This cat would drop a litter and in the coming weeks that litter would get smaller and smaller until there was like one or two kittens left. My Aunt didn't have a clue where the fuck the kittens were going, and when I asked her about it she told me they went to live in heaven with Jesus and all the missing kitties that came before them. Turns out momma cat was eating them. Maybe there was something wrong with the kittens, or maybe there was something wrong with momma kitty, or maybe they tasted like chicken. Who knows. My point is, the momma cat clearly didn't have any emotional attachment to these kittays, else she wouldn't have eaten the little furballs. 

All of which brings us full circle to the Duggars. I figure at this point, the parents have the same amount of vested emotional attachment to their kids as that momma cat had to her meals on paws baby cats. These people are as crazy as a shit house rat, possibly as crazy as an Arizona road lizard. They keep spitting out more pasty kids to boost ratings, draw attention to themselves, and line their coffers. Sending out a photo of your dead fetus feet, or is Fetuses, the proper term, whatever the case, this fucked up repugnant display is just another ploy for ratings or attention, by quite possibly the most deranged two human beings in the world. Ever.

Happy Hannukah bitches.