Fast Eddie Friday...Uncle Ed gets raided then returns with a biographer.

Some posts just won't die. I was looking at my hit counter yesterday, and I noticed several hundred hits coming from a face book page, which ended up leading me to this,
http://phil-stevens.livejournal.com/. It seems our old friend, former Kansas City Childrens show and Late night host Uncle Ed Muscare has a biographer. You'll recall I've talked about Ed several times, none of the posts were very flattering. Uncle Ed got raided by the South Carolina Law enforcement authorities. Here is the opening first few sentences of Ed's bio: edarem gets visitors.....

At 9 a.m.on May 1, 2009, there was a loud knock on the back door. My dogs, Buddy, Buster and Lady were in the house with me. I jumped out of bed wondering "Who the heck could that be? I went to the door and opened it a crack and 5 armed probation agents came in declaring, "Where's your computer?"

Ed's you tube page blew up after Fark.com picked up my April post and the video of Ed's dog suckling him as he did his best Crypt Keeper imitation. Every few days I'll get an email from some supporter of Muscare, from the context and wording of the email it's obvious that the sender is young or semi literate at best. Ed has some loyal fans, I'll give him that. One of the recurring themes from those emails has been, " He did his time leave him alone. He has changed."

Does this sound like change you can believe in? " I sat there dazed. Then I got angry. Not at the officers who invaded my house and took my property. No. I was angry at the lawmakers imposing penalties and restrictions on ALL sex offenders regardless of their offense."
And then there is this: " Back in 1986, when I was attending a birthday party in Orlando, Florida, I had fondled a 14 year-old family member. I was caught and arrested. I was sentenced to 18 months in prison and 10 years probation. That was my sex offense."
Now, here, in Orangeburg, South Carolina, 23 years later, 5 law enforcement officers are in my house going through my computer".

The problem I had with Ed, at least in my posts, wasn't that he was a Pedophile, but that he was a Pedo with a computer and an audience of potential victims. My post backfired and ultimately drove a whole lot of traffic, and youngsters to his creepy you tube site. It also drew the attention of the local Law enforcement folks to a potential predator in the Internet playground. It was never my intention to do anything beyond write a post for the few hundred readers of this blog. There was no grand illusions that I was some kind of Internet enforcer. I just write and rant.

Ed is your typical sex offender, the victimizer who sees himself as victim. He has that twisted logic that says "Hey, I only got caught once" "I just fondled a 14 year old relative at a birthday party full of kids" That's what makes adults who prey on children so dangerous, they lack the ability to accept accountability, even when they admit the crime they down play it, or flip it back on the victim. So there will be no sympathy for Ed Muscare/ Edarem coming from me. He can find sympathy in the dictionary, between shit and syphilis. I'm pleased for whatever small part I played in bringing the attention of this creep to the local cops. Now this Phil character has picked up the baton for Muscare. He runs Ed's YouTube page, he writes Ed's biased Bio. I know nothing of Phil, maybe he is a fellow offender, maybe he is just an idiot looking to live vicariously through the traffic that is drawn to Ed's you tube site. I wonder if Phil has children, and if he does, would he allow this harmless old man to sit alone with them. The answer, sadly is he probably would. People like Muscare, Phil, and Ed's followers just don't get it. Sometimes just serving your time doesn't settle the debt. Some debts you must pay in perpetuity.

Uncle Ed is Dead.

I wasn't going to write about the recent news of Ed (Uncle Ed) Muscare's death. He died in prison. I'd be lying if  I said  the news didn't give me a moments pause, a twinge of guilt even. Don't get me twisted, the twinge of guilt came not from the fact that an aged convicted pedophile died in prison, that's as good a place as any. The twinge of guilt was the realization that I ratted someone out.  Since I was a kid, I never ratted anyone out. It went against my grain. That said, and as unfortunate as the ending is, I think it's probably one of the few selfless, decent, albeit accidental  acts Ive ever been guilty of. 

Here's a quick primer for those of you who aren't familiar with Muscare.  Ed Muscare was a local KC TV personality. He had a children's program and he did the late night fright movie on Friday nights, back when Me and Jesus were in short pants. So Ed moves away, catches a beef for sexual battery on a child. He does a stretch, gets out. He moves without notifying his parole officer, catches yet another beef. He moves again , no notice, fails to register, he goes away again. He gets out and starts posting creepy shit on YouTube. I wrote a post, website Fark picks it up. It goes viral. The majority of his YouTube subscribers are kids, teenagers. Turns out, Uncle Ed isn't supposed to have Internet, and especially Internet interaction with kids. He gets a nickle. He died in prison a few days ago. I played a tiny role in his last conviction. I didn't go all Simon Wiesenthal on his ass. I didn't lurk in the bushes doing surveillance. I just dropped the dime that started the ball rolling. This link goes to all or most of my posts on Ed Muscare.   The MM / Ed Muscare saga.  

Look, I was pretty candid about my childhood run in with a similar version of Muscare. Kids getting molested is nothing new. It isn't rare.  If your lucky, you move on with a few scars and fucked up memories. If you are unlucky, it rules the rest of your life. I mostly moved on .Other than a few nights, deep in a bottle when I almost paid an old freak a wake up visit, I moved on. There was nothing unique about my story, or Ed's victims story, or any of those before or after. The storyline is always, always, always the same. It ends bad for the kid. It can never end badly enough for the Pedo. I can't tell you the number of emails I got from Ed's fan base. Whatever he did, it didn't matter. He did his time. I was a prick, a dick, and several variations of mother fuckers.  I also got several emails from a couple of different people who claimed they had fallen victim to Ed or someone like him. I don't have the time or inclination to look into those claims. That said, it's pretty rare for someone to get caught right out of the gate, first time.

There are different levels of crime. All of them are wrong headed, bad, anti social things. I get it. We all get it. Some crimes, most crimes, you can find a way back to the light. One serious brush with the law is enough for most people. Some like me, the slow and dull witted, it takes longer, half a lifetime. But eventually, you can fit back in with the world. Your past never goes away, it pops up in job interviews, background checks, the routine traffic stop that results in your prior felony alert pinging in the cops radio. I'd been out for about a year when I got pulled over for having a brake light out. Some country cop in Drexel Mo. He had me face down on a gravel road while he tossed my car. Nothing to find. A condition of my federal parole, submit to all searches by the police. It's part of the price you pay.  Your past never goes away, but it fades and dims with time.


You steal, lie, put your hands on someone in anger, a million crimes, you can eventually see them fade, dim with time. Ed wasn't guilty of one of those. He fell into the category of crimes and horrific shit you should never do. Child molesters, rapists, people who kill for pleasure or profit, those are the crimes that never really end. The gift curse that keeps on giving.   For every person who understands that, there are dozens of  slack jawed morons, who, just, don't, get it. Ironically, they also make the best victims.  Go figure.

Oh Uncle Ed, we hardly knew you.

The subject of Ed Muscari, or Ed Muscare, seems he spelled it both ways, of Uncle Ed's Tree house fame, came up on XO's blog a while back, in the comment section, I think, but am too lazy to look. Anyway Ed Muscari had a couple of shows on a local Kansas City station, the previous mentioned kid show, and a late night thriller show. It has been if not common knowledge, at least a common rumor, that dear old Ed, beloved television personality and kid show host, got busted for a sex crime.

This is what Ed looked like when I was watching him on rabbit ears. Just a wacky children's show host, holding a curved phallic thing up to his ear, sporting a lascivious look on his mug . Knowing that he is indeed a registered sex offender, who was just convicted again, in 2007 for not registering, makes the picture take on a creepy vibe. However, not nearly as creepy as his mugshot, on his Florida Sex Offender page, which you can read HERE. So here's how Uncle Ed looks today. Yikes! He looks like a cross between Alan Alda and the Crypt Keeper.

Uncle Ed Muscare lands back in Florida jail.....

Ed Muscare is cooling his heels in a Florida jail. For those not familiar with Ed you can follow this link, which will take you to the posts I've already done, or you can just go with this quick recap; former Kansas City childrens show personality gets prison stint for sexual battery on 14 year old boy, goes to prison, gets out then fails to register as a sex offender at some point, picks up a new case. Muscare blows up on You Tube as wacky uber creepy grampa, I do my first and last Television interview after concluding that I have the perfect face for radio. Ed's house gets raided, computer is confiscated, Ed is told that he is in violation of his terms of release and to stop posting on you tube. Ed tries to beat the system by having someone else post his videos, or at least that's the story he is sticking to. South Carolina violates his probation, sends him back to Florida. Ed's legions of fans go on a letter writing campaign to Free Ed, which will probably do more harm than good judging from the mentality of his supporters.

I wont beat a dead horse, my thoughts on the Ed's in this world are already on record. The only sympathy I can find for Muscare is in the dictionary, between shit and syphilis. The recent arrest of Ed for ignoring the terms and conditions that come with being a convicted sex offender is a glaring example of the mindset of your typical tree jumper. Victimizer plays the role of victim, it was 20 years ago, it only happened once, it was only a small molestation, nobody was hurt, yadda yadda, et al. The real victims usually see things differently, the incident generally effects them for the rest of their lives. I can never work in a bank, sell insurance, or work on Wall street. my crimes were related to bank fraud, I have no business dealing with other peoples financial records or funds. Makes sense, even to me. Felony DUI convictions usually carry a stipulation that the offender stay out of bars and establishments that serve booze. Makes perfect sense. Pedophiles are routinely banned from the Internet to keep them from having contact with children, also a perfectly logical stipulation. Ed's many fans don't see it that way. Ed's fans can send him money orders, and maybe stamps, and console themselves by watching reruns on Ed's you tube page.

Now a seemingly unrelated subject. Scott Roeder, the nut job who gunned down late term abortion doctor George tiller, in church, before the eyes of a whole church load of witnesses, also has a fan club. The Star reports about an auction being held on ebay, the proceeds to go towards Roeders defense. Unfortunately, or I should say, in typical fashion, the star Missed the mark on this one. The Star says the auction is being held by "abortion foes ", which implies that all abortion foes are somehow in support of Roeder. I'm pretty certain the majority of the people who are against abortions don't fall under the umbrella of Roeder's supporters. I manage to get a fairly wide cross section of readers. Liberals, Conservatives, at least one Libertarian. For the most part, they seem to be rational people with opposing views. I would say that anyone who supports a guy like Roeder, or a creep like Ed Muscare, would be an exception rather than the rule. A reasonable person would say it's wrong to shoot someone for performing legal abortions. A reasonable person would say convicted sex offenders should follow the conditions of their release. And there is the connection, the thing that the supporters of Roeder and Muscare share, an absence of reasonable thought.

I never cease to be amazed that people can ignore all reason and rational thought in their zealous support of deplorable individuals. Regardless of your views on abortion, you know that busting caps on an abortion doctor is wrong, it's murder. You don't want a guy convicted of Bank fraud working as a teller or loan officer. Common sense should tell you that a child molester shouldn't be prowling the Internet candy store. So, Roeder gets an auction, Muscare gets a youtube campaign. The rest of us just shake our heads in bewilderment. Reason, unlike Elvis , hasn't left the building, at least not the building I'm sitting in.

Update: The judge in the case denied bond and bound it over until next month. According to the link, ed was originally allowed to move with the stipulation that he avoid contact with children and the Internet. http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/lake/orl-lake-youtube-star-remains-in-jail-102609,0,7756286.story

A former Children's Show host and registered sex offender.....A toilet brush....and a suckling dog.

Some of you probably recall my post and mugshot of Uncle Ed Muscare. A reader was kind enough to send a link to Uncle Ed's YouTube videos. These aren't videos of the old Uncle Ed's Treehouse Lane children's show. No, these are much finer, they aren't clips from any of his television work either. No boys and girls, what we have here are videos made after he became a registered sex offender. He has a ton of crazy videos on his YouTube page. Give em a look and be afraid, be very afraid.

Uncle Ed Muscare gets five years..

A Lakeland Florida judge handed down a five year sentence to Ed Muscare for repeatedly failing to comply to his restrictions and the rules of his probation and parole. It's no big secret that I had a hand in drawing attention to Muscare, and I haven't pulled any punches when it comes to my opinion about sex offenders. My initial reaction, I'd be lying if I said I thought the punishment fit the crime. I don't, in fact I think the judge went overboard. Five years is tantamount to a death sentence for a a 77 year old man. I'm assuming he will have to serve a pretty big slice of that nickle. While I don't think he should have walked away unscathed, five years seems pretty harsh. There was a moment when I felt a little guilty, felt some sympathy for Muscare. I think it was the line he offered the court about seeing that his dogs were taken care of that got to me for a second.

Then there is the reality of Muscare's actions. He violated nearly every condition of his release, after being told to stop posting videos, he had someone else do it. He stood before the bench and told them he didn't do anything wrong. Never mind that he failed to register as a sex offender, forget that he moved out of state failing to notify either the state he left or the state he moved to.

"I feel in my heart I did nothing wrong."

Those were the words that bought him a fresh nickle in the joint. That's the same mindset that allowed him to commit sexual battery on at least one child. When you can convince yourself that something wrong is right, that is the mindset which makes you a danger. Fans of Muscare, and he has thousands, will fail to see the reasoning behind the admittedly harsh sentence. They won't bother to look beyond the creepy, goofy, old guy posting harmless videos. They will downplay or totally deny the lasting effect upon the victim of Muscare's original crime. They will naively call his crime a mistake. Not unlike their youtube idol, they will make shit right in their own mind. The truth is, people who molest children, the animals who rape women, they never really lose that urge. They may learn to control it through fear of prison, but it's always there, and that is why guys like Ed Muscare , harmless as he may appear, must be kept on a tight leash. Ironically one of the driving forces behind Ed's downfall wasn't me, not really. All I did was put a little information out on this blog, and through a short interview on Fox 4. The thing that brought Muscare to his present fate, his fans and his buddy who continued to post those videos after Muscare was told to stop by the authorities. I believe the Judge probably spent some time perusing the comments, realized that Muscare's followers were in large part young, impressionable, and many under age. I think he was able to put 2 and 2 together and realized that Ed could potentially reach out to some of his more impressionable fans. I also believe that the Judge got more than a little annoyed over Ed trying to work around the order to cease posting videos and using the Internet, by having a friend post them.

In the end, I just helped to get the ball rolling, it was his friends and fans, and his need to draw attention to himself, along with his inability to play by the rules, that cost him his freedom.

Final thoughts on Uncle Ed Muscare aka edarem...

A couple of days ago I posted a video and link to former Kansas City children’s show/ late night thriller host Ed Muscare's YouTube page. Fark picked it up, as did another site that I can't recall off the top of my head. Hits to my site tripled, Muscare's comment section blew up. More than a few of the comments were pretty harsh. I've found myself with some conflicting feelings as have some of you. On the one hand he seems like a lonely, slightly crazy old man, on the other hand he was convicted of sexual battery on a 14 year old boy. People were arguing on Ed's behalf, saying that he served his time, paid his debt. Sounds good at first, but I don't think they understand the enormity of his debt. His debt can never be paid in full. Anyone who uses a child for their own twisted gratification, regardless of how much time has transpired, will always be indebted to the victim, there is no final balance which can be paid in full. No absolution of sins, no pardon, no making things right, that’s just not how it works, at least not in my eyes, or the eyes of any child who was ever victimized. You can get counseling, find a god, work with lepers, doesn't matter, you won't have even paid a point on the intrest.

I wrote about my own childhood experience here and here. While it took place over 40 years ago, it's as fresh in my mind now, and in some ways even clearer, more vivid, than ever. I was about 8 or so. When an adult, not always but usually, a man, molests a child, they rob the child of their innocence, the ability to trust, to be whole. It is a horrific crime that will have a negative impact through out the remainder of the victims life. The wounds never fully heal. What restitution can be exacted to make up for such an egregious crime? If you have already read, or take the time to read my earlier posts, pt 1 & pt 2, then you know how far I almost went to exact a fair settling of accounts. I came within a hairs breadth of punching the old guys ticket, but in the end his death wouldn’t have changed anything for the better. Nothing can ever settle that score. Not prison, money, or a life. What’s done is done, and it never really leaves you.

So I can't agree with the people who say that Ed Muscare paid his debt, he didn't, and he never can. Maybe it was a one time thing for him, but that’s rarely the case. Maybe he regrets what he did, wishes he could undo it, but he can't. Maybe when he passes by children who are at play, he casts his eyes downward, or maybe he licks his chops, either way it doesn't matter, it doesn't change the past. At the end of the day, I don't care if he is lonely, growing old, nearing death, a crazy old uncle who garners sympathy and touches peoples sentimental souls. In a world shaded with a vast array of grays, this is an instance of black and white. It's as clear cut and certain as anything can ever be. So while a small voice whispers to me, tells me I should feel sympathy, should pity this old man, a louder voice drowns it out. That voice says "fuck him and anyone like him". He should never expect happiness, should never hope to outrun his past. It should stay with him to the grave, as it will his victim. I tend to go with the louder voice, so fuck him, and anyone like him.

Fast Eddie Friday....... It's double M reader appreciation day.

Every now and again one of the readers of this blog will make a comment about another reader who they perceive to be riding my sack. In regular English, that means  the commenter  thinks the other commenter is a brown noser. I've  taken down maybe  a half dozen comments since I first opened up this can O worms bloggy thang. I'm a free speech kind of guy, besides there is nothing like a pissing match in the comment section to brighten my day. Then some chuckle head will take shit too far, threaten to make the other readers colon into a necktie, and I might take it down.   So you have to say some pretty twisted shit to get erased from the comment section. Sometimes the comments are pure golden ingots, even if the ingot is shaped like a turd.  An example is this recent comment regarding an old post about Ed ( I like lil Smokies) Muscare .

" Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Uncle Ed Muscare gets five years..

 ": your a motherfucker and usually i put **** in my swears but this time i don't cause you are. putting someone innocent in jail is not a legal criminal state law you motherfucker. ps by the way LET HIM FREE OR YOU ARE COOKED HUMAN MEAT SOLD FOR FREE! :p you suk and i hate those kind of judges and edward the famous mokie making man is 77 and if he is in prison for 5 years, he will be 82 and won't exist and only the prison people may see him which is not good or great when he is not on youtube. o yeah forgot and this is for mm, i am only 4 and i am helping edward make videos bitch."

Now how can I walk away from this blog after drawing a response like that?  Simple answer, I can't.  I don't know about all of you rubes, but I for one appreciate writing that is mostly clicks and whistles, slathered in crazy.

So lets get to it. Fast and Loose........

Some shit is just too good to make up. Meet Dorothy Cascone. A local lady who decided to put a contract out on her ex husband George. She had several insurance policies on the still alive and kickin George. While the case itself isn't really noteworthy, the cast of characters is straight out of an Elmore Leonard novel.  Dorothy's picture speaks a thousand words, but I'd like to add a few more. For starters she has a mug on her that would make a freight train take a dirt road, seriously that is one haggard looking man eater. I say this fully realizing that I'm not exactly a joy to look at. Still there is ugly, and there is mud fence ugly, and one look at Dorothy is enough to make Rosie O'Donnell start dating Ron Jeremy.  Her intended target, George, is a character as well. In one interview George says she got caught because she  only paid a couple grand for the job, and used her boyfriend , who rolled on her, as the hit man. George went on to say she should have hired some out of town talent for the job because  there isn't anyone in KC who likes her..

Unnamed sources tell me that Dorothy was trying to reach out and touch George in retaliation for years of having his arm jammed up her ass as he recited mother in law jokes in Vegas. As evidenced in the photo.

The dude in the above photo is an Iranian official explaining acceptable hairstyles. Mullets have been outlawed in Iran. While I'm not totally unsympathetic to the banning of mullets, I do live in Independence Mo, the land of meth, 1980's cameros, rebel flags, wiggas, and the mullet , I'm not going to be able to side with Iran, even though I agree mullets are responsible for the decline of civilization. Iran is preparing to stone a woman to death for adultery. They bury the woman until her breasts are below ground, then chunk rocks and sticks at her until she is dead. They even have strict protocol, use a particular size rock so she won't die or get knocked out too soon. A cleric in Iran recently delivered this money quote, " "Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society which increases earthquakes," he said.
That's right, not covering up everything except your eyes can cause earthquakes. If there ever was an entire country that called for being turned into a giant crater, it's Iran. These fuckers think the Flintstones is a historical documentary, although Wilma and Betty would definitely end up to their necks in dirt for being all trampy and causing earthquakes.

Their were smallish riots in Oakland last night after a Bart cop was convicted of involuntary manslaughter. The case involved a cop who shot a guy who was face down on the ground and had one hand under him which he wouldn't show. The cop  pulled his pistol and shot the guy. But here's the rub, the cop claimed, and the jury believed him, that he was reaching for his tazer, which is shaped like a pistol. I won't rehash the whole case, but the story seems plausible, and the jury believed it was. Naturally lawsuits were filed within days of the incident, and the family of the dead guy have gone out of their way to incite folks in Oakland. So the tired and downtrodden took to the streets of Oakland to seek justice. The broke windows, burned some shit, and.........At least a dozen businesses were damaged, including a looted Foot Locker store and a ransacked jewelry store, police said.  And there it is, looting which is really what this riot was all about. Judging from the photo, even a few anarchist douche bags  needed some new Nikes. I'd suggest the folks in Oakland who are sick and tired of young black men dying, take to the streets and target the killers of those young black men. Say what? The killers of young black men are almost always other young black men? Oh, never mind.
My point is this, nobody can deny that police often use heavy handed tactics against young black guys, it's a fact of life. Also a fact of life, police shootings of young black men is minuscule when compared to the violence and death that young black men and boys perpetrate upon each other. Gunshot is the number one cause of death for the young black males, and it's not cops who are doing the majority of the killing.  The people who go out rioting after a case like the one in Oakland, are by and large the same scumbags who spend their time killing one another, and any innocents that happen to get in the line of fire. The shit going on in Oakland isn't about justice anymore than the L A riots after the Rodney King verdict. It's about opportunism, vandalism, and seeing how much free shit you can grab while you fuck up your own neighborhood. You can't go insane over a few isolated incidents while ignoring the day to day killing of your young people, by your young people, and expect to be taken seriously when you rage about perceived injustice. That dog just won't hunt.

Thats a wrap. Have a safe weekend.

Alonzo Washington thinks Child Molestation is Funny

How's that for an attention grabber? Alonzo wants attention, I guess shit is slow in the Crime Fightin, tragedy pimpin biz, so he is fishing for hits. I normally steer clear of Alonzo's My Space page for a multitude of reasons. His writing is comparable to that of an eight year old dyslexic, in the middle of a grand mal siezure. My eyes hurt just trying to wade through his butchering of the English language. I'm no Charles Dickens myself, but I do understand the rule that you use A before words that start with a consonant sound, and AN before words that start with a vowel sound. His page also makes my computer bog down, must be all the flash greetings from the ghetto-tastic hood rats who send him sparkly roses, much love and shout outs in booty shorts. So I avoid Alonzo's My Space page like a hemophiliac avoids razor blades. Were it not for the widget on TKC, I would be blissfully oblivious to Alonzo's special ed musings. He took some shots at me over the Fox 4 interview, I let it slide. He mocked child abuse victims, I let it pass. he called me a coward. I let it alone. I figured gas prices are kind of high and he couldn't scrape up a few bucks to gas up his Smegma scooter, or Smegma mobile, so he decided to suck up a few hits through a blog war. I suppose he is still stinging from being taken to task by me, over vicious comments he made about a young murder victim. He even called the dead kids family liars. Classy.

Well, Smegma Man is at it again. I know, I know, his lame character is called Omega Man, but Smegma Man seems more fitting, plus he will have to look it up. Let's face it, Alonzo needs all the Cyferin Lessuns he can get. The offending post was classic Alonzo, here is AN excerpt,

"Anyway,the old school criminal blogger is a good person to talk to these guys. He was touched by a old man as a kid & was most likely done the same way while he was locked up. I pretty sure he was a prison ho because he appears to be a weakling with no heart to me. He is a coward like these new crooks because when he did a blog about a freak named Uncle Ed fear entered his heart after he got some threats. Plus, he is a loser who could never get any attention on without a blog. In the real world he is just a old, fat & ugly Ex-con". Classy huh? And he wonders why the local media shuns him more often than not. Why would anyone talk to some clown who makes jokes about a child being molested? Short answer, they wouldn't, and they don't. Alonzo is guilty of the same crime the feds popped me for, "Uttering as Genuine". I can sit up here all day, claim that I'm getting tips, swear I solved crimes, but that doesn't make it true. the truth is Alonzo doesn't get credit, because he rarely deserves it. He turned in a tip for the Precious doe case. That's a good thing, I give him props for doing it, regardless of his motivation. Beyond that, this guy has done nothing more than make baseless, unsubstantiated claims. He may have some people hoodwinked, but as a former slinger of bullshit, I recognize it when I see it. The reason Alonzo isn't of the same stature of say Alvin Brooks, is because he only cares about Alonzo. He calls the greatest advocate for the black community, a Tom. It's little wonder he is reduced to picking fights with bloggers he claims are nobody. When you resort to playing the dozens from your my space page, you are a failure at being the big time activist you claim to be.

Dayummmmmmmm, ouch! For a guy who is constantly going on, and on, and on, about how he is a Man of Gawd, just fightin the good fight, he sure doesn't have much compassion for victims of child abuse. To be fair, he probably doesn't grasp that making light of Child Molestation, regardless of the victim, is tantamount to ridiculing ALL VICTIMS, Alonzo isn't exactly an abstract thinker. And what's up with all the tough guy talk? I think those tight ass, funny style, wife beaters he wears are cutting off the blood flow to his brain. Or maybe the pound of hair grease he uses to plaster over his thinning wig, which rests atop his disproportionally large and bulbous head, have leeched toxic petrochemical products into his sub standard gray matter. Whatever the case may be, Smegma Man clearly hasn't progressed past the age of 16, which explains why he insists on calling me old, even though we are only 8 years apart in age.

So I'm faced with a conundrum here. Do I ignore Harold Penners biggest customer? Been there done that, didn't work. Do I take the easy cheap shots? Let's face it, the guy has no job, and more kids than a Mormon, so he must just live off his wife's earnings, and maybe some, ahem, Public assistance. In the world of insecure machismo that Washington resides in, living off a woman is kind of like pimpin. Then again, maybe he is making major cheddar from those comic book sales, or his action figure, a spray painted dollar store toy. Now I don't know that for a fact, but facts never got in Washington's way, so what's good for the goose. I could pull a couple hundred, quotes from his My Space page, truth be told the guy is his own worst enemy.

But cheap shots are a dime a dozen, and Washington has already been picked apart countless times. The problem is, he was just to dull witted to realize when he had his ass handed to him. I have wracked my brain trying to find a solution to this ongoing ankle biting campaign that Alonzo just won't let go. I think he is lonely, and jealous. His my space, heh heh, blog posts don't get comments very often. he thinks he gets mad hits, but fails to realize that the 1200 times a day he clicks on his own blog are all the hits he is getting. But I'm a nice guy so I'll let Alonzo ride my jock and send him some traffic. When you are a two bit attention whore, lack of attention is like a silver bullet. So show Alonzo some love, send him a glittering My Space rose or leave a comment on his "Blog".

I was going to challenge Smegma Man to AN Indian leg wrasslin match atop city hall, but he would have taken it seriously, and I don't want him taking that huge magic marker head up there. The wind might catch it and propel him like a hot air balloon. God only knows where he would end up. He might land in some third world country, where the locals might confuse him for a large wobble headed monster, and smote him with sticks and rocks. Besides, I'm not sure he can Leg Wrassle in those tight ass clothes he wears. So if you are feeling charitable, send a shout out to Alonzo, I think he is lonely in My Space land. Holla atcha boy , Alonzo!!!! Oh, and if you want to keep shit formal his middle name is Lanert, with a name like that it's no wonder he has more self esteem issues than an Old fat criminal blogger. Now I'll sit back and wait for his response, which will be a real hoot. In fact, let me save Alonzo his paltry dozen or so brain cells by offering up his response.

check this

a local criminal blogger is mad because I ....blah blah blah. He is old an fat....blah blah...i smell fear...blaH BLAH. i have many haters. they dont like that i am a angry proud black man, who be's fighting the good fight. i write this blog in my sleep. i right like I am 4 because it a method i use. i have a comic book and a car an a scotter two. That is why my haters be hating on me. there womans want me. When this blogger attacked me he was being rasisit. this criminal blogger is a nobody who will die soon bcause he is a old fat guy. i dont no why I has so many haters. I just trying to get tips and fight the goo fight. Blah, blah, and blah. This criminal says he was molested as an child. that is funny. he must be afraid of me. i am jus a man of god. i will knock him out. i has a ms pacman machine god blessed me.

Love Peace and hair grease

Alonzo Lanert Washington.

News from across the nation....and the obligatory wise cracks.

You have to hand it to Slick Willy Clinton, he is a closer. He jumps on a plane, jets to North Korea, a day later he is flying back with the two recently imprisoned journalists . Of course there are critics of Clintons mission to free the two American women, go figure. Because North Korea desperately wants recognition from the United States, critics argue that the meeting was a big win for the dictator. Damned if you do , damned if you don't, I guess. Is it just me or does Kim Jong have a dazed look on his face in the photo above. He shouldn't feel alone, it's not the first time someone left a "meeting" with Bill looking dazed, confused,abused and feeling a little dirty. Kim probably won't walk right for a week. Hopefully the two journalists had a chaperon on the flight back, or light colored machine washable clothing.

Warren (I love a girl in prairie gear) Jeffs has been busy starving himself to death. The leader of the Utah-based Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is awaiting trial on charges related to alleged underage marriages involving sect girls. The amazing thing about Jeffs is how many followers he has. 12,000 and growing. Personally I think the guy just needs a little lead in his diet.

Count James P. Riva has been denied parole. In 1980 Riva stabbed his paternal grandmother in the heart, shot her in the chest with gold-painted bullets, and set her body on fire. His defense at the time was insanity and a belief that his grandmother was a vampire. The parole board turned him down citing a lack of remorse, as if stabbing, shooting and burning your grandma wasn't enough justification for denial. The guy has as much chance of ever seeing parole as I do of winning a Pulitzer.

Since the Uncle Ed story broke I've had some shots fired across my bow. Nothing I didn't expect and so far I haven't found a pet bunny mysteriously boiling atop my stove, but one can always hope. With minuscule fame comes minuscule critics. I feel like I did the right thing, which is something I can't always lay claim to. Was there some unabashed self promotion involved? Absolutely. For once I'm going to take the high road and leave it at that.

That's all I've got for today. I'm working on some stuff and hopefully it will see fruition Monday. See ya tomorrow.

Fast Eddie Friday........Douche Bags , Facebook, and the Waldo rapes.

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Look for me tonight at 6 on WDAF Fox 4........

Tess Koppelman of WDAF Fox 4 just left my house. She is running a story on my Uncle Ed Muscare / edarem posts and his link to Kansas City. Hopefully I won't come off looking like a deer caught in the headlights and sounding like an extra from Hee Haw. It was a disconcerting experience, as I was always accustomed to hiding my head under an orange jumpsuit whenever a news crew was around. Times change. I contacted Tess because I thought there was a story in the edarem you tube explosion, and the underlying risk of a convicted and self admitted sex offender coming into contact with under age viewers. To be honest, my thought was that she would just run with it and give me some credit. I definitely wasn't looking to be in front of a camera. I had my a/c set on 65 because I was sweating like David Duke at an NAACP convention. So check it out tonight at 6 from the live stream if you aren't local.