Well boys and girls it appears we all made it through another year, otherwise one of us wouldn’t be reading this right now. I rang in the new year ensconced in flannel, surrounded by ungrateful dogs , as a gentle yet frigid breeze blew through one of the leaky windows of my 80 year old apartment. Around midnight revelers set off breath taking fireworks displays (gunfire) and I stayed clear of the windows so as not to catch a stray bottle rocket (bullet).
All in all it has been a pretty good year. I lost my job of 7 years, and I continue to avoid meaningful relationships like the plague. But I’m still here and breathing so that’s got to count for something. I started this blogging thing and in the process discovered that people can fool you. Here I've been walking around with a Merle Haggard Branded Man type attitude all these years, certain that normal folks would shun me the second I revealed my scandalous past. Overall the reaction has been the opposite of shunning and people have been for the most part nonjudgmental . This leads me to conclude that most of my readers, few though they may be, are not normal. ( wack jobs)
Rather than make some token resolution like giving up smoking or volunteering at a soup kitchen, I figured Id vow to do some amazing feat , like swim the Missouri river from KC to St. Louis. I can envision the cheering crowds and news crews filming me as I enter the mighty Mo wearing a Speedo, goggles, one of those swimming caps, and coated in Land O Lakes butter so I glide through the water like a seal. Of course the river is polluted and I swim about as good as a one armed Arab, but its not like I ever follow through with this New Year resolutions shit, so I’m safe .
If I had to take one thing with me from 2007 it would be this. I live in an area of this city that is better than some but not by much. By today’s standards I am nowhere near where I should be at this point in my life. Chances are this is about as good as its gonna get. I don’t have a fraction of the material shit I once had, and unless I win the lottery I never will. I live paycheck to paycheck, barely. My best friend weighs 4 pounds and is covered in fur. And I can honestly say that I am pretty content and reasonably happy in spite of it all. Cant ask for more than that.
To those of you in my real world who have high expectations for me this new year, believing this is the year I will reach new heights and achieve lofty goals, get a grip would ya. Thanks for putting up with me anyway.
The blogs I read religiously have given me plenty of laughs and on occasion have caused me to reevaluate some erroneous thinking. So thanks to you all. From the intentionally acidic basement dwelling Mexican to the sheet folding Russian, the sometimes pessimistic but always funny Nurse to the kindred smooth domed middle aged white guy, you all know who you are, if not check the fucking links cause I don’t do the HTML thing. I did however take down the xmas tree and replace it with a picture that is worth at least two words if not a thousand.
I hope everyone who reads this blog (bored people and losers) has a great New year!
All in all it has been a pretty good year. I lost my job of 7 years, and I continue to avoid meaningful relationships like the plague. But I’m still here and breathing so that’s got to count for something. I started this blogging thing and in the process discovered that people can fool you. Here I've been walking around with a Merle Haggard Branded Man type attitude all these years, certain that normal folks would shun me the second I revealed my scandalous past. Overall the reaction has been the opposite of shunning and people have been for the most part nonjudgmental . This leads me to conclude that most of my readers, few though they may be, are not normal. ( wack jobs)
Rather than make some token resolution like giving up smoking or volunteering at a soup kitchen, I figured Id vow to do some amazing feat , like swim the Missouri river from KC to St. Louis. I can envision the cheering crowds and news crews filming me as I enter the mighty Mo wearing a Speedo, goggles, one of those swimming caps, and coated in Land O Lakes butter so I glide through the water like a seal. Of course the river is polluted and I swim about as good as a one armed Arab, but its not like I ever follow through with this New Year resolutions shit, so I’m safe .
If I had to take one thing with me from 2007 it would be this. I live in an area of this city that is better than some but not by much. By today’s standards I am nowhere near where I should be at this point in my life. Chances are this is about as good as its gonna get. I don’t have a fraction of the material shit I once had, and unless I win the lottery I never will. I live paycheck to paycheck, barely. My best friend weighs 4 pounds and is covered in fur. And I can honestly say that I am pretty content and reasonably happy in spite of it all. Cant ask for more than that.
To those of you in my real world who have high expectations for me this new year, believing this is the year I will reach new heights and achieve lofty goals, get a grip would ya. Thanks for putting up with me anyway.
The blogs I read religiously have given me plenty of laughs and on occasion have caused me to reevaluate some erroneous thinking. So thanks to you all. From the intentionally acidic basement dwelling Mexican to the sheet folding Russian, the sometimes pessimistic but always funny Nurse to the kindred smooth domed middle aged white guy, you all know who you are, if not check the fucking links cause I don’t do the HTML thing. I did however take down the xmas tree and replace it with a picture that is worth at least two words if not a thousand.
I hope everyone who reads this blog (bored people and losers) has a great New year!
Happy New Year to you too. I was gonna write something ground-breaking but my head hurts (isn't it Heather's handle),so I just will say that a good resolution will be to sit down with us some day and have a beer.
ReplyDeleteAlso how did you train your dog to take your picture.
Ha! I hope to make the next meeting you all have.
ReplyDeleteI put hamburger on the shutter button.
Take 2 asprin and stay away from the potato juice. Look forward to hearing about the russian debuchery that took place in St. Lou.
I really hope you make it to the next blogger meetup.
ReplyDeleteI find your stories fascinating, they give a glimpse into a world I hopefully will never know, and FSM knows watching the Shawshank Redemption won't tell the whole story!
Happy New Year! May the coming year bring many laughs, readers, and new friends.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year to you as well!! Hope I get to meet you at one of those blogoholics meetings!
ReplyDeleteI like to think myself along the lines of a pessimistic boy scout. Be prepared for the worst, because it's probably going to happen.
XO gave you some blog love, so here I am. You may be getting a few more bored losers!
ReplyDeletethe part about your four pound, furry best friend cracked me up... add about 56 pounds and you have my best friend. But he's never let me down! I hope you have a great '08, my friend.
ReplyDeleteJudy in Atlanta
PS: Sometime I'll have to tell you about my stint in what Nodaway County refers to as "shock therapy" for Northwest College students... particularly those who attempt to steal a roll of carpet.
Hey Atl. I'm still waiting for a job offer. Doesnt your paper need an editorial guy or a mail room clerk?
ReplyDeleteIf you were in Atlanta, I'd give you a column in a second! Have you ever thought of trying to do a syndicated column? You REALLY have a gift, my friend.
ReplyDeleteJudy