Hollywood Madame , are you Joking ?

Heidi Fleiss the notorious Hollywood Madame who pandered to the likes of Charley Sheen was popped in Nevada for driving under the influence and possession. But what I want to know is WTF happened to her puss, and by puss, I don't mean her holiest of holies, I am referring to her mug. All I can think of when I look at her is the Jack Nicholson line from Batman ,"Wait'll they get a load of me". Blatant pun intended. Seriously, the former purveyor of Hollywood whohaa is as eff'ed up as a soup sandwich.

Heidi is one hot mess, but she is also an entrepreneur. She runs a small store on Hollywood Blvd. which I have been to, and just for the record she isn't pimping anything out of there, other than her poorly written book, flannel underwear, and bumper stickers. This botoxed train wreck also has her own laundry mat, called Dirty Laundry. I hear the Fluff and Fold special is really something. I just wouldnt want to be the guy in charge of the dryer lint.

Heidi is also in the process of starting a brothel/stud farm in Harrumph Nevada. This may well be her most Ill advised business venture to date, the exception being her two fer special when she was slinging cooch in LA LA Land, buy one anorexic, drug addled, aspiring actress and get an STD for free!!! I say a brothel catering to women is a poor decision based on the following theory.

Women Don't Have to Pay for Sex. Just ask any of my ex wives, former girlfriends or the long line of women who made a drunken mistake, with me being the meat in the mistake sandwich.

Women will not pay for sex, they don't have to. Sure they might pay an emotional price, fall for some loser thinking he is the greatest thing since Tivo, and they might end up paying off debt incurred while with said loser, but that's not what I mean. No woman is going to pay hard cold cash for something that is readily available for free. Even the most unattractive woman this side of Rosie O'Donnell can get laid easier than Brad Pitt. So there is no way a woman is going to drive to some dusty Nevada trailer park to pay money to blow some strange guys meat whistle.

All that being said, I'm awarding Heidi Fleiss, the Midtown Miscreant Media Whore of the Week Award. Even if she wasn't try to garner attention and get busted. With a set of soup coolers like the ones she is sporting, attention is gonna follow her, like it or not.