"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton." Mike Tyson

Prison for Dummies......Chapter 10......Sweet Release.

All things both good and bad must eventually come to an end. I think I've milked this Prison for Dummies thing dry. What better way to wrap things up than to touch on release. All but a small percentage of inmates will eventually get out. One would hope that the person leaving was an improved version of his former self. Unfortunately that's not always the case. I think most of us come out believing we wont fuck up again, but it's a sentiment that just doesn't always stick.

The weeks leading up to being released seem to slow to a crawl. As the day nears, you begin to question if you are prepared for the world. Five years isn't long enough to become institutionalized, but its a long enough absence to give you doubts. As strange as it sounds, the day to day life in prison is easy to adjust to . Like anything else, you grow accustomed to the structured world of prison. So the day of your actual release is met with a mixture of anticipation and trepidation.

Most people will have a family member pick them up at the gate. I chose to take the bus. I had to report to the Dismas House which was a privately run federal halfway house next to the police station near Linwood and Troost. That's the thing, even when they release you, they aren't done with you. For most federal inmates, there will be a 6 month stay at a halfway house, and then another 5 years or more of supervised release. After 5 years in prison you will need the re-entry to be slow, which is what the halfway house is for. It gives you 6 months to stack up a little cheddar (money), so you don't have to move in with family.

In a goofy logic, halfway houses are always in the city's worst areas. You would think that the halfway house would be in a location that would be conducive to keeping the newly released offender on the straight and narrow. But they are almost always sitting smack dab in the middle of heavy drug traffic and high crime areas. That's why a quarter of the guys you are in the halfway house with, will not make it through their 6 month stay.

When you first get out, it is almost like you were in a long coma, or had a stroke. You have to relearn how to do things in the free world. The simple act of talking to someone seems surreal and awkward. In the back of your mind, you are certain that everyone you meet will instantly recognize that you are an ex con. The transition is rough, but you eventually readjust. The first few weeks are full of unrealistic expectations. You naively operate under the assumption that the debt is paid, the slate is clean, nothing could be further from the truth. While on parole you are required by law to inform potential employers that you are a federal offender. Your parole officer will show up on your job unannounced, usually with a cup and urine test strip in hand. These factors insure that you will not get a very good job. You realize at some point that you will never be entirely free of your past, but then again , none of us ever are.

Hopefully your time in prison will stick with you. That is the key to staying out, remembering what the time in prison was like. Not a day goes by where I don't think about being locked up for over 5 years. When money gets tight, and I am barely keeping my head above water, I think about prison. I know that I can make more money illegally in a matter of days than I currently earn in a year. And I know that once I cross back over that invisible line, I will eventually return to prison. So I do what everyone in the square world does, I struggle, I barely get by, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

That's it for the Prison for dummies series. I know the conclusion was anti climatic, which is fitting. Getting out of prison is always anti climatic, staying out isn't always easy, but it beats hell out of the alternatives.