Burning Bush has Shirley Phelps Ropers panties in a bunch.

The garage of Westboro Baptist Church leaders, caught fire last night, unfortunately none of them were injured. Shirley, the twunt daughter of Fast Freddie Phelps blames it on God hatin homo's and all around evil doers. "Shortly afterward, family members began filming footage of the fire, taking photographs and documenting what occurred. Several carried signs as they watched.

Catch that last sentence? They carried signs. These douche bags never miss a chance to break out those Day Glo poorly made signs. Shirley went on to say ""None of what they do is going to stop us from delivering our message," She fired a letter off to the feds demanding they investigate it as a hate crime. Maybe I'm missing something here, but why would she want help from the people she claims are part of the Godless masses?

Anyone who has not perused the Westboro Church website should give it a look, it is a dandy. Shirley Phelps writes like a mentally disturbed 12 year old, and their dogma is all bark and no bite. Hopefully the only arrest made in this case is the dummy that alerted this nest of wack jobs that there was a fire. He should have minded his own business, besides I'm sure God wouldn't let his chosen perish.

While I really couldn't be any less concerned over the well being of this band O Douche Bags, I do have a bone to pick with the Almighty, in relation to the Phelps Klan. So I'm enclosing a letter to God in this post, I'm pretty sure he reads me.

Dear Alpha and Omega,

Would you please talk to the Phelps family and ask them to get some new signs. I'm really tired of seeing the same old same , God hates Fags, or God hates soldiers, et. al. One word for you, Boooorrrrinnnnng. Come on, get these peoples shit together already. If like they claim, they are Your messengers, I would think that you would equip them with some relevant and hip messages so they can really reach the masses.

For starters, there is Fred. Could he look any more ghoulish? Whats up with those big ass sunglasses. The guy looks like a cross between the Lone Ranger and the Crypt Keeper. Notice in the accompanying photo that his lovely wife is wearing matching shades. I hate that shit, nothing is more syrupy sweet annoying than a couple who wear matching outfits. Tell them to stop that shit, right now.

And Shirley Phelps, WTF ? Look, if you can create the world and all , could you at least give that bitch some writing skills. Is it too much to ask? Not for nothing , but there is no way anyone is going to take her seriously when her writing is the equivalent of a note passed between a couple of 13 year old girls. And tell her to do something with that hair, hellooooo.

Being a people person I'm going to offer up some tips for you, in the hope that you can make the Phelps family a little more current and trendy. First tell Fred to lose the black suits and crazy glasses, it's a big turn off. Personally, I like this look.
And for the sign bearers this is a nice look. It's friendly and quirky.

I'll let you go God, I know you're a busy Deity and all. But I hope you talk to the Phelps. They are really embarrassing all my neighbors to the west in Kansas.

Yours Truly

MM