I'm sure everyone else is as tired of hearing about this thing as I am talking about it, so I'm going to wrap it up, answer some critics, fill in some blanks, and then leave it alone. There has been some speculation about my motives along with accusations made by the usual cast of characters, some anonymous, some not. Why did I single out Ed? Why bother him, leave him alone, he's harmless. I just did all of this to draw attention to my blog. I ripped off some local crime fighters methods. I'm just a bad guy, a crook who turned in another crook. The list goes on. In the meantime I've got two email accounts that are catching hell. My email accounts are being bombarded with everything from work at home promises, to barnyard porn. One guy says he wants to chop my head off. No surprises or worries there, it's about what I expected. I can open new email accounts, maybe start wearing a Kevlar turtleneck.
My motives: Payback. Plain and simple. I wrote about my experience with a pedophile here and here. Read it if you haven't already. If you still have any questions after reading it, send them to the bible answer man or Dear Abby, I really could give a shit, either way. Forty three years ago, a seemingly kind, supposedly devout man robbed a 7 year old boy of his innocence, his childhood. I'm 50 now, I can still describe the interior of that old guys house, the photos of trains on the walls, the large train bell in the corner of the living room, a huge model train set in the basement. I can describe the smells, the lighting, the worn carpet, and a whole lot of shit you don't want a description of. I've never taken the easy out on this thing. I don't blame him for the path I took in life, the 3 failed marriages, the rocky relationships with family, the dysfunctional life I pissed away a good chunk of. That shit is all on me, choices I made. That said if you don't think the incident helped mold me, influenced some of the choices I've made, then you are mistaken. Five years after the incident, all of 12 or 13, I wrapped a rope around a clothesline pole and my neck, then took a leap. My stepmother got to me before it was too late. Was it a cry for help or an aborted suicide attempt? To this day I can't say. What I can say is that it was directly related to that earlier molestation. If you think Ed's victims don't carry scars to this day, then you are an idiot. Notice I said victims, you'll never convince me that he got caught the first and only time he decided to abuse a kid.
I was talking to an Aunt the other night, the Fox 4 piece had aired earlier. She wasn't sure what was going on, wasn't even sure it was me on the TV. She had only caught a part of the story, and was concerned that I had wound up in trouble. After I assured her that I wasn't the one under investigation she told me that Marshal had died, that was his name, I hate even typing it. She said his house was up for sale. Her reasoning in telling me was her way of saying that chapter was closed, the final page written the day he slipped this mortal coil. The truth is, the final page can never been penned, there is no finality or end. Those memories are as vivid as they have ever been. It's always there, even when I think it's not. So make no mistake, I didn't put Ed Muscare under the spotlight out of a sense of nobility, or as some would be victims advocate, or some wanna be citizen crime fighter. It was payback, pure and simple. That doesn't mean it wasn't a good call, it was. I just don't want to dress it up and make it out to be the beginning of some lifes work. I'm not Simon Wiesenthal, I won't be chasing down child molesters like they are nazis hiding in Central America. I'm not out to steal the limelight from any crime fighters or activists, contrary to what they think. I was just getting some payback for a kid who caught a bad break back in 1967. Now I'm done with it.
Well said, well spoken.
ReplyDeleteAnd defending a convicted child molester at all, but especially on the internet through threats and prank email bombs puts you developmentally and emotionally somewhere below slime molds. So fuck those multicellular abominations.
Ed Muscare is not who molested you. This is displaced revenge.
ReplyDeleteso the only person who can talk about this is someone who was molested by ed?
ReplyDeleteActually, anon, it's well placed revenge. Way to go MM. I can only imagine it takes great courage to write about your experience, share it publicly and highlight the deviance of a wretch like Ed.
ReplyDeleteThanks MM... I can relate to what you are doing. For those of us who are still dealing with our "demons" both living and dead I find some comfort in the fact that you called the spade a spade. Awesome work.
ReplyDeleteI commend what you did. Completely. By the way, I wonder if the news will get out in Ornageburg, SC- where Ed lives. I wonder if his neighbors will know his story. Orangeburg is a small country town. It also has a VERY high crime (as in murder) rate. We call it the murder capital of SC. Really crazy considering the size of it.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't that many years ago, that child molestation wasn't talked about. It was swept under the rug. The kids weren't given counseling. I'm sure some of them were even threatened to keep their mouths shut by their own parents to keep from bringing "shame" or other problems on the family. I know there are still way too many silent victims even today but at least we have a better awareness of the problem and these evil people if found out are usually prosecuted.
ReplyDeleteI don't care what motive MM had and I'm glad he did it. One more creep is hopefully shut down and maybe one more child won't be victimized. That's good enough for me.
It's damn shame some overinflated egomaniac "KC Crimefighter" has to make this all about him, instead of trying to understand that it's more about a victim of molestation trying to find some form of closure.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand where you are coming from, and I a appreciate it. You're not alone.
Great motive, and you picked the right target.
ReplyDeleteFuck Ed.
And Marshall surely ain't dead. Marshall fucked up a little bit of your life, and a little bit or more of a few others I suspect. You & them in turn careened into other people, fucking up their lives a little bit, and on it goes.
Child Molesters' impacts go way beyond their own lives, and the lives of the people they harm, as you have written about so well.
Nice comment spam. The train detail in your post was appropriately creepy, given predators' utilization of toys to attract their victims. Someone showing up in comments with a link that states "There is an ambiguity in finding the real value of a Lionel train" takes it from creepy to morbidly funny. Pretty sure no one reading your post is going to be inspired by it to go and buy a train set.
ReplyDeleteFrack the punks. You did good. You put a chomo in the spotlight and it takes away his main tool... anonymity. Now we all know who and where he is. It's like putting up signs around a minefield. We can all walk safely around him.
ReplyDelete