Do we need tougher bullying laws, or are we raising a bunch of pussies?

I loathe posts from middle aged white guys that compare the good old days to the fucked up as a, soup sandwich present. I try to avoid being That Guy. Unfortunately this is one subject where I will have to call on my inner middle aged grouchy guy perspective. There has been some talk in the media lately about creating more bully laws. There are websites devoted to enforcing bully laws. We all know why bullying laws exist. School shootings, Internet harassment that leads to suicide, or more school shootings, a politically correct and uber sensitive society that strives to nurture kids by slathering praise for the most mundane achievements. We have a cable channel devoted to saying the alphabet, accompanied with bunnies hopping through fields of clover, all designed to teach your 6 month old infant to be a sensitive, bunny loving, genius by 7. If a kid is sullen, less than chatty, or moody, we have them screened for autism. If they are too active, we pump em full of Ritalin. We treat depressed teens with anti depressant meds, we coddle, shelter, and blow smoke up their collective young ass, all in the name of nurturing in the new millennium. Parents, educators, and shrinks, ensconce the young in Bubble Wrap Suits of over protectiveness, raising up hoards of Bubble boys and girls who crumble, crack, or snap, when life bites them in the ass.

I wrote about Joey Jeckyl, his real name, who was like a giant flashing bulls eye for bullies at John T Hartman elementary. Joey wore a puffy, fake fur hoody, way before puffy, fake fur hoodies were in fashion. He had a weird voice, nasally, whiny, and he drug words out way to long. Instead of Leave me alone, Joey would say Leeeeeeave, Meeeeee, Aloooooone. Drawing out each word a little longer than the last, with long pauses in between each word. Joey's coat and way of talking were the equivalent of running from a bear, it just encouraged the bully. I also wrote that Joey rang my bell one day with his lunch box. And it wasn't some pressed tin Archies lunchbox, it was a heavy ass metal fucker like your dad carried to the construction site, with a heavy thermos inside in a wire cradle. Joey did a semi Deebo, and almost Knocked me the Fuck out with that lunch box. I deserved it, and I gave him a wide berth there after. Joey took a whole lot of shit, for a whole lot of years. He never shot up the school, chewed off his mothers face, or killed himself. He took a stand with me, and it worked, I got the message.

The fact is, from as far back as I can remember, up to my mid 20's, I can only think of a couple of young people who killed themselves. The closest thing to a school shooting was the sniper in some Texas University bell tower, which may have been before my time as well. But these are different times now. The Internet, myspace, facebook, chat rooms, threads, message boards. The dot com world of anonymity that allows and even encourages pissing in your peers Post Toasties.

When one of these spoiled little shits goes postal, the parents and media rush to blame video games, music, and bullies, if it's a kid from the suburbs. Even the most horrific acts, like the Columbine school shootings, the killers get a partial pass. They were outsiders, might have been bullied, they were exposed to violent video games, the parents didn't have a clue. And there's the rub; The parents didn't have a clue.

It's easier to coddle these little pricks, conjure up a multitude of psycho babble and excuses, than to hold them accountable. If little Joey can't get along in a regular school, we have a string of alternative schools where he can while away the hours, getting in touch with his inner self while making clay pots or writing gothic poems. The end result is an adult that is ill prepared for the world that awaits beyond mummy and daddy's over protective grasp. They stumble through their adult years, whining, blaming, under achieving. They raise up carbon copies of themselves, creating shit heels in their own image.

We don't need more laws protecting kids from one another. Bullying is a fact of life, it doesn't stop when we reach 18. Making up a "new criminal offense", putting a new label on an old fact of life isn't the answer. When these Bubble kids hit the real world they are going to encounter an unending string of bullies. At work, next door, on the street, bullying doesn't end at graduation. Bullying is born in school, but that's just the beginning. Life is a series of ups and downs, highs and lows. Most of us except that. There will always be people who try to run over you, it's a fact of life. There won't be any bully laws to protect Joey from the guy who wants that promotion, or has his eye on Joey's job, or Joey's wife. If Joey never had to take a stand when he was a kid, he is going to be ill prepared to be anything other than a door mat later in life. Kids need to learn that you can't always depend on someone else stepping in, sometimes you have to take a stand. There are more effective ways to deal with a bully, other than creating a law that can't be enforced. I'd suggest a heavy ass lunch box and growing a pair of balls for starters. But, that's just me.

****special credit to Old Fart for coining the phrase Bubble Wrap Suit*****