It's stored in the safe................

In prison the rectum is like a Fedex, and a Floor Safe. The lions share of dope in prison is smuggled in balloons, up some dudes balloon knot, or they swallow it and let nature run it's course. It's a nifty place to store your personal valuables, drugs, shanks, the remote for the TV room. Now before you get the wrong idea, everyone in the joint isn't using their ass like a Truckers Wallet, just the people with shit, heh, to hide. And no, I never personally used my colon as a safe deposit box. The subject of the Ass Wallet, or Safe, actually has a purpose in this post, I have a point, just hold your horses.

Stashing something up your ass is The Final Act of Desperation, I'm sure most people don't do it for fun, except maybe Ryan Seacrest. It's an act born as a means to an end, heh x 2, the end result being concealment when hiding places are at a premium. It always amazed me that guys could carry a shiv up their ass and somehow get to it in a hurry if need be. Like in Highlander, Christopher Lambert carries his sword in a sheath behind his back. I still can't figure out the mechanics of removing a piece of metal from your ass in an expedient manner, it's like Houdini or something. I can't say I ever saw anyone quick draw a shank from their backside, so it will have to remain a mystery.

Suicide bomber Abdullah Asiri had inserted around half a kilogram of explosives into his own body to carry out his failed assassination attempt of Prince Muhammad Bin Naif, Assistant Minister of Interior for Security Affairs, last week. That would be 1.10 pounds of explosives up his ass. Talk about dedication. So the bomb was set off with a cellphone, no word on if it was also in his trunk. Anyway, this ass clown was one of Saudi Arabia's most wanted, and he convinced this prince he wanted to give up. The bomber persuaded the prince he wanted to leave al Qaeda, setting a trap. So he is in the company of the Princes Secret Service agents for 30 hours, before he gets a sit down with the Prince. Miraculously the dude just blew his own ass off and the Prince was only slightly injured, although I'm sure he is going to have to repaint the room.

This Islamic Terrorist freak might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but his dedication and willingness to set off a bomb in his ass, is probably the scariest thing I've read this week. How do you protect against people who conceal explosives inside their own body? While this is an unpopular opinion, and probably surprising coming from me, the mindset of these terrorists almost makes a decent argument for some of the tactics we used on them. Water boarding seems almost tame when compared to the agony of shoving over a pound of explosives up your ass on the installment plan. If a guy is prepared to do something that insane, is threatening his family or pouring water in his face really too extreme? I don't know the answer, but when you are dealing with that level of crazy, maybe all bets are off.