Fast Eddie Friday...... Pedo Elves want to stuff something in your kids stocking.

Great day in the morning, is nothing sacred anymore? Have we come to this?
For those of you with spawn, I regret to inform you that no longer will your mini you's be able to mail letters to the North Pole, or at least they won't get a response. The little town of North Pole, Alaska, where the thousands of volunteers answer letters addressed to Santa in the North Pole every year, will likely have to shut down their program after the U.S. Postal Service enacted stricter regulations on the national program when a sex offender was discovered among the volunteers in Maryland last year.That's right, you read correctly. Those fucking elves are up to no good. I can't say I'm surprised, I never trusted elves, even that friendly dentist wanna be in the Rudolph cartoon. The pointed ears, the beady eyes, and those freaky curled up shoes. They have Pedo written all over em.


While the Postal Inspectors are at it, I'd like to suggest they take a Look at Mr. Kringle. Seriously, think about it. Here you have this old fat guy, kids sitting in his lap while he is disguised in a fake beard and ensconced in red velvet. He gives "Presents", to kids he doesn't even know. He breaks in to houses, creeps around, steals milk and cookies, and probably roots through the dirty clothes hampers.


Or maybe, the USPS is just overreacting. They are afraid to let someone in Alaska have access to some kids name and address in San Diego, or Kansas City. I guess they have a kid shortage in Alaska, or the tots wear so many layers that the pervs just can't get the little tykes down to their underoos fast enough. Whatever the case may be, one thing is clear, Govt. shot callers are morons. We aren't talking about Chester the Molester being a camp counselor, or some creep on the Internet pounding on his keyboard and potentially contacting some local kid in his area. What we have are tens of thousands of letters, from all over the world, letters that parents sent, letters that the kid will show to his parents. There is a difference between erring on the side of caution, and total stupidity. I'd like to give props to the US Postal service for highlighting that difference.


Speaking of stupid, anyone care to explain the latest coup at city hall? Abe Lincoln meets Tim Burton, Mayor Mark Funk-en- stuff has managed to get 6 council members to oust the City Manager. On the surface it might even be warranted, but that's not what disturbs me. What bothers me is that these same council members , approximately a year ago, gave the city manager a fat ass contract, in spite of the Mayors objections. In fact you could say they did it to spite Mayor String Bean. They say politics make strange bedfellows, and it seems to be true. The mayor and the city council have been fucking this city from day one. Talk about knocking the bottom out. If Kansas City had Ovaries, they would be bruised from all the hammering.

That's it for this week. Stay safe. See ya Monday.