Karma, The Korean, and the Hobo..........

No doubt you rubes have been on pins and needles waiting for the second part of my previous post. There hasn't been a more anticipated cliffhanger since JR got a cap popped in his ass on Dallas. The problem with writing a 2 part post is waiting too long to write the second part. My short term memory sucks major balls, I forgot what I was going to write. Thanks weed. I'm sure it would have changed all of your lives, but you'll just have to take my word for it. Goodbye Pulitzer. Still I feel obligated to throw you all a bone. Heh. So consider this a consolation post/  special edition, or whatever.

So, I'm heading to work yesterday, I'm on Armour just west of Main near my former digs, minding my own biz wax. All a sudden I hear tires doing the locked brake boogie, followed by a little bit of metal on metal crash bang booming. I look in my rear view just in time to see some guy coming back down to earth along with his bike. I stop in front of the Red Cross building, the driver of the car that hit the guy stops, a Korean lady ( I can tell the difference. No stereotype.) gets out of the car all hysterical and shit. Having just run over a midtown hobo on a 10 speed will do that to you.  The guy is laying in the middle of Armour road doing the Curly Joe. Remember how Curly would run in circles while laying on his side in those old 3 Stooges flicks? He finally gets up and starts stumbling around in the middle of the road. Cars are flying around him and the hysterical Korean (trust me, she is Korean) lady. Nobody stops.  Fuck my life, so I turn around and park my car in front of dudes fucked the fuck up 10 speed with my flashers on. I call 911. A old hippie lady who reeks of Patchouli oil arrives on the scene and tries to comfort the crying Korean lady, whilst keeping clear of the punch drunk homeless dude.

There are pipe fittings and short pieces of copper pipe scattered all over the street. Homeless guy was apparently excavating job sites for scrap prior to going ass over tea kettle over the hood of a Honda. I tell him to sit his ass down, helps on the way. He continues to walk around ignoring the cars, picking up his treasures. The 911 operator is yacking in my ear, the Korean Lady is getting a hug from the Hippie lady, and the homeless dude is asking me if I see his glasses. At one point the Korean lady breaks free of the hippie lady and walks up to the homeless guy , her face all screwed up from bawling, she says " I'll buy you a new bike".

When the ambulance, pronounced "Amblance" in midtown, arrives homeless dude gets pissed off, at me. As the 2 cop cars show up, followed by a big ass fire truck, homeless dude starts giving me a bunch of sass. In between asking me if I see his glasses, he starts bitchin about me calling 911. Dude has about three or four goose eggs on his forehead, otherwise he seems okay.  He's steady giving me lip for trying to help his goofy ass out. I'm thinking I'm going to be late because I stopped to help this douche bag.  Meanwhile, the hippie lady is giving a statement to the cops who have managed to get the hobo to sit his ass down while the Amblance people check him out. Ironically, and kind of funny-ish, dudes bike is laying in a heap right next to one of those bike lane symbols that are painted on the street.  Homeless dude is giving me the fish eye for calling all of this attention to him, pipes and fittings are still scattered all over the street, and a couple of the cops are looking for dudes glasses.

I ask one of the cops if I can go as I'm late for work. He tells me to go ahead. As I get back in  my car the main thought running through my mind is how this fucking guy got mouthy with me for trying to help him out, that and a mental image of the crying Korean lady who kind of reminded me of an old episode of Mash where the cleaning lady had a crush on Hawkeye Pierce.

 I'm thinking to myself that there's just no fucking being nice in this world as I pull away. Then I hear it! Karma. Who knew Karma makes a sound exactly like the sound of a car tire obliterating a pair of glasses. As I drove west on armour road I could see the homeless ingrate and 2 cops standing exactly in the same spot my car had been parked in, all staring down at the ground.