Fast Eddie Friday...4th of July weekend edition....

It's been a minute since I've drug Fast Eddie out of the closet (no Seacrest). Well all good things come to an end, so here we go...Fast and Loose.

Tulips on troost is one of those Feel Good projects that people take part in to make themselves feel like they are making a difference on a street that has long been the racial dividing line in Kansas City. I won't pretend to know all of the specifics and minutia, mostly because I don't care who is behind it. Suffice to say, planting flowers on a street where shootings are a common occurrence doesn't do dick to change anything. I'm sure the flower beds make for an awesome place to stash drugs or for the hookers to toss used condoms, which are not biodegradable. Troost is a shit hole. Sorry. If you have to live along that road, I feel for you. If you live there by choice (hippies and hipsters) then don't come crying to me when you catch a stray round in the ass of your skinny jeans.

Troost and at least one of it's denizens hit an all time low Wednesday. A woman had the misfortune to pass out from the heat. This happened at 11:30, broad fuckin daylight. Police say that the victim told them that she was walking with a friend when she felt light-headed and passed-out in a shaded area. She says that she has no memory of the alleged attack, but that she was told by witnesses that Melvin Jackson was having sex with her, and that when she awoke she was no longer wearing her underwear. She was taken to an area hospital for an examination.

Not for nothin, but what kind of friend leaves you unconscious on Troost? Shit gets worse. When Kansas City Missouri Police arrived on the scene, authorities say that Jackson told them, "I thought that lady was dead." I don't even know what to say to that one. Clearly our boy thought he was abusing a corpse rather than committing rape, rape. Keep in mind 34th and troost would be less than 3 blocks from the central patrol police station and one of the busiest roads in midtown. If I gave out awards, Melvin would get this weeks " waste of flesh" award. The only explanation I can come up with.......fuck it, there's no explanation for this kind of craziness.

With the coming of the Independence Day weekend, emergency rooms will be swamped with Whiskey Tango Trailer Dwellers turned pyrotechnic expert. Here in Independence and across the metro, loud booms, and if you are on the east side, semi automatic gunfire, will fill the night air for the next 3 nights. Even as we celebrate our freedom to blow shit up, a greater freedom is under assault. Freedom of speech and expression.  Have you read or watched any news bits on the guy in the burbs of St. Lou that got a ticket for flipping off some clown who blocked an intersection? I'll link to it, but it's easier to just read my not so brief commentary, then move on with your life. Steven Pogue was sitting at a crowded intersection when a driver drove into the packed intersection; which kept Pogue stuck in place."The arm was there and, like I said, not proud, but I showed my displeasure of them blocking the intersection," said Pogue. A cop sees him flip the guy off, pulls him over, writes him a ticket for having his arm sticking out of his car. Apparently you can't stick your arm from your vehicle except when signaling. Pouges response "I was signaling".

It's official. The political correctness  pussification  of this country is complete. The terrorists win. It's legal to protest a soldiers funeral, display signs that say "God Hates Fags", but by God don't you dare stick a middle finger in the air directed toward some shit heel. We are officially fucked.

It's hotter than a half fucked fox in a forest fire outside. In between drinking too much, blowing shit up, and sitting in sobriety check point lines, remember to check on old people who can't afford AC and are reduced to eating cat food. Bring the dogs in, it's too fuckin hot for them out there, and if you are more worried about your hardwood floors than your pet, you need to be punched in the throat, and never should have had a pet in the first place.
Be safe, see you rubes back here on Tuesday.