Monday, August 29, 2011

Irene sings her siren song. Douche bags respond.

Have you ever wondered why so many people throughout the world hate us?   Is it our arrogance? Our wealth? Our obsession with celebs? Our fast and loose morals? Our military might? Taylor Swift? Sorry, Kanye got that one right. I argue  none of these. The fear and loathing for all things American can be answered in one simple made up word. Douche-baggery.  I've never watched the nightly news in Islamabad, Kuwait, or any of the other countries that are basically giant litter boxes.  That disclaimer aside, I'd be willing to wager they run continuous reels of  us, mostly white folks, doing retarded shit. When you are sitting in a mud hut in some third world dung pile, your battered wife holding the rabbit ears of your 12 inch black and white, as you eat your goat sandwich, some douche bag comes across the screen, carrying his douche baggage. If you happen to be Amir the angry goat herder, it's got to piss you off.  "How the fuck did these people not only manage to survive natural selection, but thrive? I have to wear this hot ass beard and wool snuggie, with no a/c, whilst these capitalist dogs taunt Allah and flirt with death."

Don't get me wrong, I could not care less what any other country thinks of us. I just can't help but wonder what we look like when some outsider sees images of some nimrod showing his ass.

Unless you were hidden in plain sight in a Pakistan compound living in a cave, avoiding the non stop coverage of Irene was an impossibility.  While everyone from public safety officials, mayors, gubners, and gubmints, repeatedly warned people in harms way to get the fuck out of Dodge, douche bags were busy getting caught on camera, doing douche baggy type shit.  If there is a God, he was sleeping on the job this weekend. There was ample opportunity for him to cull the herd and get rid of some of his rejects. Apparently God does not have a recall plan in effect, because he put out some defective product that walks among us with impunity.  It's one thing to refuse to leave your home like a captain going down with his ship. It's another sort of stupidity altogether, to climb the railing of a seawall and do your best Kate and Leo on the Titanic impersonation.

If there was any justice in this world, there would have been more than a few of these clowns swept out to see and devoured by sharks. Small ones. Slowly.


  1. Orphan of the RoadMonday, August 29, 2011

    Some where, probably in the Sudan, a young child glimpses these images. Not tomorrow but soon, that child will say WTF?

    If there was a God he would have wiped out the Jersey shore long before this.

  2. Maniak ProductionsTuesday, August 30, 2011

    The one that got me to shaking my heaqd was the rugby player body surfing down a NY street.

    Ever testing Darwin's theory, and what have we learned?

  3. The dude with the worthless lifejacket on under his jacket looks like he swallowed a whale ... but maybe in the end it was the other way around.

  4. we are not alone. there are plenty of videos of arabs doing stupid shit.