Fast Eddie Friday.....Big Foot, Big Vagina, Big Mistake.

 My posts have been as sporadic and spotty as a 50 year old woman's menstrual cycle in the early stages of menopause.  Before one of you clowns start trying to school me on menopause, menses, or the inner workings of a woman's front butt , that's a medical term, just stop. Everybody thinks they are an editor or a gynecologist, or Helen Gurley Brown. Clearly, blogging has taken a back seat to life, work, and an overall lack of  motivation. So it was going to take something BIG, something monumental, to get me back in the saddle. And here it is...........................

This is a Bigfoot. A Sasquatch. A skunk Monkey.

This is a dude in a military camo outfit known as a ghillie suit.

This is a douche bag.

So is this. But I digress...

If you mix those ingredients together, you get hilarity........and death.... or natural selection, give it a name. From an area of Montana known as "Flathead" comes the following.........


Randy Lee Tenley, 44 of Flathead county Montana was  trying to spark a Bigfoot hoax. He put on a ghillie suit. Stood in the middle of the road. At night no less. He was promptly run over by a 15 year old girl. A second vehicle followed, driven by a 17 year old girl, who proceeded to run over him again. The  first girl who hit Randy Lee wasn't able to swerve out of the way in time. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that the second girl just figured he was a fucked up looking pile of brush. And let's face it, at that point he was. Either way, if you are drunk enough and stupid enough, to stand in the middle of the interstate, at night, in a fucking camo suit, you really deserve to get turned into road kill. And he was.
Now, several thoughts come to mind upon reading this story of the late Randy Lee Teneley.
1. Why is a 15 year old girl driving at night?
2. Randy was drunk. I mean he had to be, right? I suppose you could argue that he was stupid, or retarded, and one doesn't necessarily preclude the other..
3. Serial killers, assassins, and dull witted Bigfoot hoaxers are always referred to by their full names. James Earl Ray, John Wayne Gacy, Randy Lee Tenely.
4. Finally, in a sad statement on the lives of Flatheadians, Flatheaders (?), Randy Lee will be remembered for generations. His story will be told and his legend will grow. Not unlike Bigfoot.  Hell there may come a time when they have a festival or special day in remembrance of the guy.


In keeping with the suit and douche bag theme. This is a giant vagina suit with a douche bag inside.

In Florida the Occupy Wall Street goons were busy protesting the RNC.  While some of the women were as hairy as Big Foot, and most of the protesters in comparison  probably made Sasquatch smell like he was wearing chanel # 5, but  it was their suit of choice that really made a statement.  Vaginas. Great big honkin who haa's.  When you really want to be taken seriously, nothing, and I mean nothing, says " we are a force to be reckoned with"  like dressing up in a giant foam disembodied vagina.   

 

Here in our fair city we were not to be blessed with giant protesting vaginas that actually look more like wads of gum. There were about 50 or so Occupy nimrods parading through the Country Club Plaza holding one of the most unfortunate, poorly worded signs possible.........

Using the word WELFARE at the top of your banner does not make people sympathetic to your cause.  What it does do is make you look like a bunch of deadbeats protesting in the middle of a weekday, when you should be out looking for a job. I suggest you  break out the big vagina suits if you want to be taken seriously. Also, standing in front of a place of business, impeding the commerce of said business, and generally pissing on the livelihood of the fellow "99ers" who are working inside said business, just makes you look like a bunch of petulant shit heels.         So kudos for that.