Could you live with it? Casey Anthony can.

The thing that I remember most vividly about children I have held, my own and others, is the smell of them. Babies have that smell that comes off their scalp, it's unique to them, like a puppy's breath. They nuzzle in the spot between your neck and shoulder, warm, fragile breath, whispers against your neck, and that baby smell fills your senses. When you hold that child, smell that baby smell, you can't have bad thoughts. You know you are holding one of the best of us, untainted with all of the crap that we accumulate as adults. Casey Anthony went to bed knowing her flesh and blood , her little girl, was decomposing in a trash bag, just a couple of blocks away. This egg and womb donor for Caylee Anthony knew that the wild stories about kidnapping babysitters and airport sitings, were nothing more than smoke and mirrors, she knew all along. The thing I find the most disturbing and the hardest to comprehend, is how Casey Anthony was able to carry such dark secrets and not confess or kill herself. Imagine if you did some unspeakable thing, or just had knowledge of it but did nothing. Could you live with that? Probably not, you would probably confess what you knew, or open up a vein while taking a hot bath, but the knowing would be too much for most of us to bear.

I came up around some not so nice people, I associated with some not so nice people, I was locked up with a fair amount of bad people. The thing is, none of them really scared me, I never felt more than a little wariness. You knew where you stood with them, even the ones who would just as soon kill you as look at you. The Casey Anthony's of this world are different, it's not that they have something most of us don't , it's what they don't have that makes them unique. they don't have that inner voice that would keep reminding them of what they had done.

Now Nancy Grace can extend her Casey Anthony show into another year of milking it for all it's worth. Lets face it, the media especially the Nancy Grace's, zero in on the disdain people feel for the parent, that's what keeps people watching. Nancy Grace has exploited the Caylee Anthony case, feigned concern, offered just the right amount of pseudo outrage. Off camera she is doing back flips, the ratings for her show will soar, and she will cling to this child's death like a pit bull, until a new outrage dujour comes along.

The grandparents will probably continue to claim their daughters innocence, crowds will still probably stand outside their home, acting as ugly and hateful as humanly possible. Other than having found the body, not much will change in this case, all of the actors will continue playing their roles, life will go on for everyone but the little girl. I think that's the second biggest tragedy in all of this, the first being the death of a child. Not much will change. Parents will continue to due unspeakable things to their own children, and much like Casey Anthony, the perpetrators of the most heinous acts will carry on with their day to day activities, absent of the guilt that would drive most of us mad. There is no understanding it, no making sense of it, it's just one of those incomprehensible things , it just is.

Trying to make sense of the unfathomable.

Casey Anthony the mother of Caylee Anthony who was last seen June 9th, has finally shown some emotion. The judge set her bail at a half million and in the process elicited some crocodile tears from Florida's Mommy of the millenium. This woman's child has been missing for over a month, she has gone about her day to day activities like all was well, oh and she didn't bother to report Caylee missing during that time either. As poor of an excuse for a human being that she may be, and she is, I am bothered more by her family and her lawyer. Cindy Anthony, the grandmother claims that her darling daughter has been trying to tell investigators what happened to her missing child, "In her own way". Come again? What does that even mean? Now Grand-mama, and Casey's lawyer are claiming a woman called the granny and told her she saw little Caylee in Atlanta's airport, and even spoke to them. Okay, that makes sense, the woman called the child's grandmother, rather than tell one of the umpteen police that roam Atlanta's airport.

There wont be a happy ending in this case, anyone with half a brain is well aware of that. I may be wrong, but I think in the end, the Grandmother will be found to have some direct knowledge regarding what happened to little Caylee. The lawyer, for his part, is charged with defending his client. He would be well advised to persuade his client to cut the bullshit and fess up. Instead, he has taken the route of helping to spread this cock and bull story of innocence and mysterious sightings. Even the most callous mother couldn't remain mute for 5 weeks if her kid was missing, unless she was responsible for the disappearance in the first place. Sell that shit somewhere else, nobody in their right mind is buying it.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, is the recent news that Boulder Cops have finally cleared the family of JonBenet Ramsey in her murder. DNA confirmed that her killer was not one of the Ramsey's. Twelve years of living under a cloud of suspicion, Patsy Ramsey died of cancer before she was cleared. The media and Boulder police and prosecutors destroyed these people lives. They bungled the investigation, the media tried the Ramsey's in the court of public opinion. We were inundated with hype, speculation and accusations from the media. While the Boulder cops and prosecutors have publicly apologized to the Ramsey's for the grief they suffered under the cloud of suspicion, the media has remained mute in regards to its accountability. In fact there has been minimal coverage regarding the new DNA evidence that cleared these folks.

We all believed the killer of Jon Benet was a family member. I know I did. The cops and the D.A. sure were convinced of it, and the media did its best to point a finger in their direction. In the end everyone was wrong, and twelve years of salt rubbed in to the wound of losing a child, didn't warrant a single apology or condolence from the media.

You might think Im being a hypocrite here, Im condemning the way the Ramsey's were accused of guilt absent of charges or conviction, while all but calling Casey Anthony a killer and accusing her mother of helping her get away with it. Apples and Oranges. The Ramsey's didn't wait 5 weeks to report the crime, and they certainly didn't go about their lives as if nothing happened.

So where am I going with all of this? I honestly don't know. I suppose I'm just trying to make some sense of it all. How anyone could harm, let alone murder a child, is beyond comprehension to most of us. When the guilty party is a parent, especially the mother, it is unfathomable. My Aunt had a cat years ago, and it always ate its young. This was in the late 60's, spaying a cat was pretty much unheard of. This cat would let the kittens nurse for a week or two, then they would start turning up missing. Eventually the cat would get caught in the act, mid meal, so to speak. There wasn't anything physically wrong with the kittens that would compel the mother cat to eat them. She was just wired funny, she should have never been allowed to breed. I think some mothers must be wired the same way. I think Casey Anthony is one of those mothers. My Aunt finally caught on and kept the cat locked up until it went out of heat. I'd have put her down, Casey Anthony too.