The dog ate my homework......sort of

Yeah yeah, I know, there was supposed to be a new urban blight post today. I have a long convoluted explanation why there isn't, so you will just have to make do with that, until tomorrow.

For starters I have a new roommate. Lets call her Nurse Goodbody, since she reads this blog, my first pick, nurse Ratched probably wont win me any points. Anyway, we have known each other a long time, we were both having slightly rocky financial times, we get along, blah blah, so she moved in, and we are regrouping and stacking up some cheddar in case we reach a point where she realizes I'm much more fun in 3 hour increments than on a full time basis. Sorry if you were expecting a long love sonnet or syrupy, starry eyed, love struck, proclamation chock full of happy ever afters and the like. Nice idea, wrong blog.

So NGB and I go to the store about 6 last night. When we return, I open the door and there are three tiny dogs standing in my living room. she has two, and I have two, Max, my fearless Yorkie is not among them. I call him, nothing, I walk in to the bedroom, call again, nothing, no Max. panic begins to set in. I tell NGB to look through the apartment, I go outside and call him, still no Max. I walk/jog the 4 block path we always take on our walks, all the while calling for Max. People are just getting home from work, and I stop them asking if they have seen a small Yorkie, in a voice that is increasingly becoming more panicked and desperate. They have not. An older guy on a bicycle, a dumpster diver/can collector is pedaling by. This same guy bummed 5 bucks off of me about 6 months ago. I am about to ask him to keep an eye out for my dog, before I can get more than a couple of words out, he cuts me off, with a snippy "I ain't seen him", never slowing his shitty can laden 20 year old Schwinn. **note to self, I'm slamming the dumpster lid on that fucker next time I catch him waist deep head first in my buildings dumpster***

I get back to my place, still no sign of Max. I send NGB back inside to search the apartment again. I jog up to Broadway, all the while yelling for Max. I disturb the sidewalk diners at Cafe Trio, who are enjoying their 35 dollar Mac N Cheese. I get curious looks from the group of gay smokers standing outside of what I am fairly certain is a gay guy sports bar, not that there is anything wrong with that. I am searching through a long row of evergreen type hedges, head first, hoping one of the 3 or 4 wild cats I've seen frequenting that area, don't peel my face off and eat it. I've got these Disney movie, lost dog adventure visions rolling around in my head. I imagine Max, kidnapped by some Cruella Deville type who will chain him to a tree and put bows in his hair, or I see him trembling in the dark, far from home and alone, wondering where I am and why I have abondand him. At this point I'm seriously distraught, and it's getting darker by the minute.

Let me just say that I am not an overly sensitive type, I have had guns pointed at me, I have been beaten, stabbed, shot in the shin, indicted by a federal grand jury, thrown in jails, prisons and a litany of other unpleasant shit. and through it all, I never rattled, at least not much. So the potential loss of a 4 pound dog ,a breed favored by women and geriatrics , shouldn't really bother me much. But it did, it bothered me a whole bunch. Here is the thing about Max, and dogs in general. They don't expect much from you, they are always tickled shitless to see you, and regardless of how bad your day has been, it's hard to stay pissed off when you walk through the door to find your dog so thrilled to see you that he/she can't contain his or her self. I genuinely love both of my dogs. Call me crazy, accuse me of holding an animal up to human like status, but I would spend any amount of money or go to extreme lengths in the intrest of their welfare.

So, I'm digging through these bushes, did I mention evergreen bushes make me break out ? I hear someone calling for me, I walk through the empty lot that backs up to my building. At the top of the driveway, I see NGB and an old lady who lives across the street. Then I see Max, NGB has him but he is trying to wriggle free when he sees me. It really was a Disney moment, I got all fucking misty eyed, he licked my face, and I hardly noticed his rancid doggie breath. I ask where he was, thinking the old lady must have found him. NGB tells me,"he was in the closet". Before we left, she got something out of the closet, he went in unseen by her, she shut the door, and Max took a nap. So, that is why there is no Urban Blight post today, I burned up too much energy and daylight to get pictures taken.

The upside to all of this, is that tomorrow you will be reading a special Urban Blight edition on rural blight. I'm going to have pictures and a post that will take you to a place you may have heard of but never visited. In the meantime, I'm spending an inordinate amount of time checking to see where Max is at in the apartment.

Where's MM?

So, my plans for a scathing and sarcastic Urban Blight post on the Independence avenue/ North East area have hit a snag. To be honest, Independence Avenue has never looked so good, which is not to say it isn't a cesspool, it is, however they have come a long way baby. So I'm giving them a pass, at least temporarily. If you need to blame someone for the lack of material to poke fun at, then blame the Mexicans. The shifty bastards had the gall to clean the area up, open businesses, paint and repair the houses, and generally make the place less of an eyesore. The exception being the overabundance of bright orange and day glo lime green painted buildings.Take heart, all is not lost. Since I've got nothing ready for an Urban blight post, you all get your favorite play along game, Where's MM?. There are two pictures, same place. I tossed the dogs in as a bonus. The giant magic brown sphere that looks as if it is about to flatten Max, actually spins in place, seemingly floating atop water, like Jesus bowling ball. Play fair, and look for my next Urban Blight installment Tuesday.