God bless us every one! Now get yer mitts off that Xbox!

Frigid temperatures and bone chilling winds could not deter the hoards of morons who lined up over night in the pursuit of bargains. Without fail there are always melees , brouhahas and skirmishes. There is pushing shoving and a general lack of humanity to be found. So I’ve composed a little ditty, to the tune of twas the Night Before Christmas.

Twas The Night before Black Friday

Twas The Night before Black Friday and shoppers galore
All stood in line outside the Target store.
Same story at Best Buy, Wal-Mart and Cabela’s
Man, Woman , Child and a few Androgynous ....Fellas?

It started out as a lark, all were light hearted
Until around 3 when some fat guy in line farted.
People broke ranks,
and the line fell apart
Only the bravest stood their ground,
along with the guy who had cut the fart.

As the air cleared and folks returned to the line.
Angry words could be heard,
"Hey dick, that spot is mine"
"Go fuck yer mother"
"Go blow a goat"
"I'll tear off yer head, and shit down yer throat"

An anemic young Gamer, who was hoping for a nintendo Wii,
was smashed in the face by someones knee.
A grandma was knocked down, I suspect just for fun .
But it quit being funny, when she came up with a gun.
Six people were shot in the wink of an eye.
"They lose their places" said the Fat Guy.

Then the doors opened and shoppers poured in,
the manager was trampled, and required stitches to his chin.
A soccer mom from JoCo smacked a guy with her purse.
"Out of my way , or shit will get worse."
They filled up their carts with electronics and more ,
and headed to check out near the front of the store.
They had waited all night freezing in line
To get a 300 hundred dollar item
for 269.99.

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