Bustin a Sag will get you busted..................

Lynwood Illinois, a Chicago suburb has begun issuing tickets to anyone bustin a sag, that's "wearing baggy/ saggy shorts or pants" to you non urban folk. Sure, we see it everywhere, the kid walking down the street, clutching his long shorts, or short pants, I can never quite decide. While this was once a style favored by young, black, inner city kids, the monopoly on droopy draaaaaaws is no longer confined by ethnicity. I've seen more than a few kids who were so white they were clear, walking like penguins, wearing the same crazy clown pants. I don't think there is any denying that the law will be challenged and probably repealed, but while there is still time, there are a few other clothing trends and styles I'd like to see outlawed. Be warned, some of the things you will see are so atrocious, so insidious, you may become nauseous.

It should be illegal to misuse or incorrectly wear any type of head gear. There are few things that I find more offensive than what we see here. This is the daily double, the yin / yang of Douchedom. The backwards ball cap guy and the stocking cap doofus. If you are over 20, and wear your ball cap backwards, or worse yet, cocked sideways, then you look like an idiot. Cut it out and turn the fucker around. And you stocking cap in August guy. It must smell like ass up under that spandex and polyester cranium condom. Go home and don't come back outside until your head wear is weather appropriate.

This next offender really should know better. Now don't get me wrong, MM likes some jam with his toast. But honey, baby, you cant wear your 13 year old daughters Jr misses hip huggers. Something has got to give, all That has got to spill over somewhere. So cut that shit out, put on some age appropriate, figure friendly clothes.

The next culprit looks harmless enough. Probably an art school student, most likely fancies himself a rebel. Shares an apartment with several other like minded hygienically retarded types. A fashion sense gumbo, part punk, part hipster and a twist of angst. The result is a parody of the troubled artist he so desperately wants to be. Meanwhile he drives a new Accord that his parents bought him to anarchist meetings and to pick up his monthly trust fund check. He will still be in college or addicted to heroin when he is 32 .

Lastly, I would be remiss, and stripped of my library card if I failed to give honorable mention to the Popped Collared Peacock. You might have read when this local blogger, had a run in with a devotee of the upturned or popped collar. It's a look that bespeaks a

cluelessness,

a naivety if you will. Throw in some over sized aviator sunglasses and plaid shorts, and you have an offender of epic proportions.

The infractions don't stop with just these few offenders. There is a whole world out there, and someone, somewhere is running around in clothes that someone finds offensive. Obese women are driving an electric grocery cart in Walmart in those pink stretch pants. Some wanna be cowboy is doing his best Garth imitation, replete in too tight Wranglers and lightning bolt cowboy shirt. There is much work to be done.
So I suppose if we are to be fair we should impose laws against wearing such egregious clothing styles. I submit to you dear reader, that it is our responsibility to stop these insidious fashion faux pas. I suppose we could just mind our own business, tell government to stay out of peoples personal lives. Live and let live, blah, blah, blah. So to all of you cookie cutter pseudo individualists, who fancy yourselves as trendy, hip or rebellious, you have been warned. Pull em up, turn it down, or do whatever it takes to get yourselves correct.