Friday is the day when the work week is coming to a close. Friday is the kindlier, gentler day of the week. At least that's how it should be. Not around these parts, not fuckin lately at any rate. I've got a few bones to pick, who am I kidding, Ive got more bones to pick than the fat guy at an all you can eat carp buffet. Make no mistake, this is a totally pointless, self serving, exercise in futility. The walking , mouth breathing deficits to mankind, who are the object of my loathing aren't likely to read this. If they have Internet they are no doubt surfing for porn, or chatting it up on the Douche Nozzle Network. I'm certain none of them read, many of them cant speak at least in a language I can comprehend. So here we go.
I found myself in the dreaded Midtown Triangle this morning. I left my humble abode in a quest for 3 basic needs. Money, Food, and Toilet Paper. This required 3 stops, the bank, the dollar store, and McDonald's. My route is basically a triangular shape. From my place to the bank on 31st and main, 6 or 7 blocks, tops. There are two ATM machines. The one closest to main is being used, I am behind using the second one. Ive got 2 cars behind me and the douche bag in an Escalade in front and blocking the exit. I get my money and pull forward. The idiot in the Caddy is still dicking around at the ATM, still blocking my path. Clearly the first 4 failed attempts to get money from the magic machine couldn't deter this moron from a few more tries. So I wait, for 5 minutes until the machine eats the fucktards card. I would have liked to drive my car up his ass and out his throat. Impatient, moody, potentially violent, guilty, but lest you forget, reason 3 for my outing. If I am curt, it is because time was a factor. I needed to move fast, so pretty please, with sugar on top, move your fucking car.
Dollar store on Broadway, 6 blocks, tops. Toilet Paper and Paper Towels. 6 people lined up at the register, 3 employees, one running the register, the other two running their mouths. 6 minutes pass, the woman in front of me sets her shit on the counter, cashier rings it up, 20 bucks and change, she has 15. So we play the how much was this, and the price on the shelf said this, and let me exchange this for this, game. I hate that game, what I hated the most was that she put back toothpaste and dish soap, but kept her ring dings and wam wams, or whatever little fuckin Debbie cake she didn't need. Finally Im up to bat, pay for my stuff and leave for my final stop.
McDonald's on Broadway, just catty wompas from the dollar store. The short change broads sister must have been in front of me in a minivan. She changes her order 3 times, while her rug rats throw shit out of the van windows. Paper, trash, a couple of toys. She gets to the window and proceeds to go through every item in her huge sack. Then she must have asked for ketchup, the first handful wasn't enough, so she must have requested more. The second hand full O ketchup must have satisfied her, and replenished her pantry. I get to the window, pay, and make the final 6 block stretch for home.
I'm not one to talk about bodily functions, at least not my own. But let me just say, that my trip for Toilet paper was a must have soon type trip. Due to the delays, I am breaching as I turn on to Broadway. Sorry, but its an integral part to the story. Im thinking it's going to go smooth, Ive got a few blocks, what could possibly happen, am I right? Wrong, I was so very wrong. The blood bank could happen. I don't know if these seemingly healthy , well dressed in the latest jerseys, blood slingers are just lazy, unemployable or what, but they are many, they are legion. They walk out into the lanes of traffic with impunity. They dare you to hit the, I think they want you to hit them. Some fuck head in a hockey jersey, shorts that reach his ankles and a goofy blonde dyed spike haircut, a fat white guy to be exact, is standing in the middle of the north bound lanes. Two cars are stopped, while he stands there yelling at one or both. I don't know what transpired prior to this, I don't know why this Insane Clown Posse retard was blocking the road, and I don't care. I just know that I went from a full on breach to possible impacted bowel.
Im finally home, I cant poop and I am glad this week is over. I'm done. See ya monday.
I found myself in the dreaded Midtown Triangle this morning. I left my humble abode in a quest for 3 basic needs. Money, Food, and Toilet Paper. This required 3 stops, the bank, the dollar store, and McDonald's. My route is basically a triangular shape. From my place to the bank on 31st and main, 6 or 7 blocks, tops. There are two ATM machines. The one closest to main is being used, I am behind using the second one. Ive got 2 cars behind me and the douche bag in an Escalade in front and blocking the exit. I get my money and pull forward. The idiot in the Caddy is still dicking around at the ATM, still blocking my path. Clearly the first 4 failed attempts to get money from the magic machine couldn't deter this moron from a few more tries. So I wait, for 5 minutes until the machine eats the fucktards card. I would have liked to drive my car up his ass and out his throat. Impatient, moody, potentially violent, guilty, but lest you forget, reason 3 for my outing. If I am curt, it is because time was a factor. I needed to move fast, so pretty please, with sugar on top, move your fucking car.
Dollar store on Broadway, 6 blocks, tops. Toilet Paper and Paper Towels. 6 people lined up at the register, 3 employees, one running the register, the other two running their mouths. 6 minutes pass, the woman in front of me sets her shit on the counter, cashier rings it up, 20 bucks and change, she has 15. So we play the how much was this, and the price on the shelf said this, and let me exchange this for this, game. I hate that game, what I hated the most was that she put back toothpaste and dish soap, but kept her ring dings and wam wams, or whatever little fuckin Debbie cake she didn't need. Finally Im up to bat, pay for my stuff and leave for my final stop.
McDonald's on Broadway, just catty wompas from the dollar store. The short change broads sister must have been in front of me in a minivan. She changes her order 3 times, while her rug rats throw shit out of the van windows. Paper, trash, a couple of toys. She gets to the window and proceeds to go through every item in her huge sack. Then she must have asked for ketchup, the first handful wasn't enough, so she must have requested more. The second hand full O ketchup must have satisfied her, and replenished her pantry. I get to the window, pay, and make the final 6 block stretch for home.
I'm not one to talk about bodily functions, at least not my own. But let me just say, that my trip for Toilet paper was a must have soon type trip. Due to the delays, I am breaching as I turn on to Broadway. Sorry, but its an integral part to the story. Im thinking it's going to go smooth, Ive got a few blocks, what could possibly happen, am I right? Wrong, I was so very wrong. The blood bank could happen. I don't know if these seemingly healthy , well dressed in the latest jerseys, blood slingers are just lazy, unemployable or what, but they are many, they are legion. They walk out into the lanes of traffic with impunity. They dare you to hit the, I think they want you to hit them. Some fuck head in a hockey jersey, shorts that reach his ankles and a goofy blonde dyed spike haircut, a fat white guy to be exact, is standing in the middle of the north bound lanes. Two cars are stopped, while he stands there yelling at one or both. I don't know what transpired prior to this, I don't know why this Insane Clown Posse retard was blocking the road, and I don't care. I just know that I went from a full on breach to possible impacted bowel.
Im finally home, I cant poop and I am glad this week is over. I'm done. See ya monday.
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