I'm back..............sort of.

So,..... I moved to the Pearl of the metro, where Men are men and sheep are nervous. Independence Missouri. Actually I haven't moved per say, but I am in the process of getting the place ready to move in, which explains my absence here. Now before some Independites get their IROC Cameros all in a wad, I don't mean to imply that all of Independence is stuck in the 1980's, just 75 percent of it. One need only take a trip to the Hyper Super Walmart on 40 highway to confirm those statistics. Yes I am aware that the Walmart is actually in KC proper, but it's painfully obvious where most of the shoppers are from. Seriously, some of you people are as country as a chicken coop. Normally this would be where I mock, criticize, and generally enrage the entire population of Kansas City's dull witted, meth addled, mullet sporting, step brethren, but much like Jules of Pulp Fiction fame, I'm in a transitional period, I want to help you. So in the weeks and months to come I'll be pointing out some areas that need work to bring you folks in to the 21st century. The majority of my readers, the ones not living in Independence, will be happy to know that there will be pictures aplenty.

There won't be any great sweeping changes to this blog. Since I'm currently unemployed, the Girlfriend has been working me like a White Mouth Gubmint Mule. I won't regale you with tales of scrubbing hardwood floors, cleaning gutters, and all the other mundane bullshit that I am being subjected to. I do however have just a few topics to cover today.

Pirates. Yeah, I realize I'm a few days behind everyone on this topic. Until the Navy Seals popped a few of the Bluebeard wanna be's in their melons, these clowns have been making the rest of the world their bitches. Of course there are calls for the U.S. to rain it's wrath upon these boating bandits, spend a couple gazillion dollars of military might to stop these guys, thus insuring we will spend inordinate amounts of manpower, time and money, chasing around extras from a Tarzan movie, in bass boats. The last thing we need is to get stuck chasing these clowns around. I propose we implement a sting operation. Park a few high dollar yachts off the horn of Africa, chock full of snipers and rocket launchers and let them come to us. When they get within range, turn em in to fish bait. Stop paying ransom and start punching tickets. We don't need battleships, aircraft carriers, and thousands of military personnel. Just a handful of seals and maybe a few of those scary looking TI KI God statues. Yeah, I know, TI KI Gods are Polynesian, so blow me.

My Maltese Maggie and Yorkie Max are proud parents of one, yes just one single puppy constitutes the entire litter. Seems like underachievement to me, but whatever. It's a little female, probably will never break the 5 pound mark. I spent Easter morning in the closet, no homo, not that there is anything wrong with that. I've delivered several litters of puppies in my day, and I was sure this one would be a breeze, it wasn't. She took several hours and liked it none too much. I've temporarily named the new arrival bunny, I would have named her Jesus, but she is a girl.

I'll be posting sporadically for the next week and then I will be back to Mon through Friday posting for your edification and amusement. You will notice the new header, it is temporary, poorly designed, and slightly insulting to an entire city. No need to thank me. I will probably be calling on my personal design guru, and the only Russian Jew I know, to help me put together a more appropriate header, he just doesn't know it yet. In the meantime, keep coming back, I'll try to make it worth your while.