Cotton comes to Columbia. or...You say Hate Crime, I say Horse Shit.

So 2 white nimrods allegedly spread some cotton balls in front of MU's Gaines/Oldham Black Culture Center. People were pissed off and offended, black students, educators, some white folks too. I even received an email from a reader about the incident, questioning how cotton balls have racial connotations. More than a few people didn't get it. Of course it is a reference to Slaves picking cotton. And as I told the reader, yes I believe it's racist. It's not exactly the same as hanging a noose from a black co workers locker, or spraying racist graffiti on the front of someones house, but it's racist all the same. So I can't fault anyone who found it offensive, it's a good call and a legit grievance. But is it a Hate Crime?


Sean D. Fitzgerald, 19, and Zachary E. Tucker, 21, were arrested on suspicion of second-degree tampering. Police are pursuing the charge as a hate crime, making it a felony. Some people, white people, are upset that the charge is a felony. Frankly, I could give a shit less about the felony part. The hate crime part is what has me more than a little miffed. This case isn't about racially motivated intimidation, it's about a racially motivated shitty sense of humor. Make no mistake, these two turds, if they did it, are a couple of racists. But that's not a crime in America, if it was, half of America would be locked up right now. Lets face it, White, Black, Brown, Asian, feel free to add your own ethnicity, there is no shortage of people who dislike people of a differing complexion. And in this country, that is your right. Is it wrong headed? Absolutely. Ignorant? Sure. Racism is all of that and then some, but a crime it ain't.


Racism becomes a crime when the racist acts out in a way that is harmful to someone. Be it mentally, physically, whatever. If racially tinged attempts at humor were a crime, then Dave Chappell would be doing life, Richard Pryor would have been given the death penalty, and Eddie Murphy would have been drawn and quartered. Not that Eddie was particularly racist in his humor, but his movies were all punishable offenses.


These two ass hats were trying to be cute. They thought they were being funny. They weren't even original, this same incident was already done to death. UC of San Diego beat them by a week or two, another similar incident occurred at some other school whose name escapes me. So on top of it being not funny, it's not even original. I always assumed I was correct in my belief that a hate crime would need to have an element of harm or perceived intimidation. I was wrong. Here is the definition of a hate crime from the FBI website. "A hate crime, also known as a bias crime, is a criminal offense committed against a person, property, or society which is motivated, in whole or in part, by the offender's bias against a race, religion, disability, sexual orientation, or ethnicity/national origin." By that definition, comedians can rest easy, except Murphy, who should be arrested immediately. Seriously, have you seen Dr. Doolittle or Norbit?


I shouldn't make jokes, someone is going to take offense, but that's kind of my point. Where does the line get drawn, and who gets to draw it? While it is perfectly reasonable for anyone to voice their concern, outrage, and offended sensibilities, you can't have it both ways. If you are going to label the piss poor, racially tinged humor of two borderline retards, a hate crime, then you are going to need to go out and arrest everyone who ever used a derogatory racist term directed towards a person of a different color. Problem is, there probably will be a shortage of jurors to hear the cases, prosecutors to prosecute them, and judges to rule on them.


Most people, have at one time or another, used a derogatory word about someone of a different ethnicity. Usually in anger, and hopefully followed by regret, but let's not bullshit each other. Regardless of color, most of us have a little racist in us at some point in time, even if it's only a millisecond. But that doesn't make everyone a racist, or hate crime perp, it just makes us human, replete with the baggage heaped upon us all, generation after generation. At the end of the day, most people realize that what constitutes good and bad, can't be determined by pigmentation or the lack there of. Then there is the small underbelly of society, who really believe it can all be narrowed down to color. Not for nothin, but that isn't a mental defect confined to just white folks. mouth breathers come in all shades. If I had a dollar for every time I was called cracker or peckerwood, and some stuff in Spanish that I'm sure would have offended me, if I understood it, well I'd be a rich middle age blogger, rather than a middle age blogger who is so broke, if it cost a quarter to shit, I'd have to throw up.


Before I start to ramble, let me put this puppy to bed. MU should be ashamed. The two douche bags alleged to have spread 3 dollars worth of cotton balls should be ashamed as well. The cotton ballers, it's obvious why they should hang their heads. MU, maybe I should explain. Pushing this incident as a hate crime taints the true intent of the law. It's a slap in the face to the folks who have been terrorized, killed, beaten, and denied the basic human rights we all hold dear. Nobody should have to be afraid they will be targeted simply due to their skin color. Black men have been drug behind the pick up trucks of died in the wool hate filled crackers, a young gay man was killed and hung on a fence, people have died because someone didn't like the way they looked. Those are hate crimes. Two chuckle heads and a Walgreens bag full of cotton balls, ain't in the same ball park, it ain't even the same game. MU is simply trying to placate people so they don't turn this in to a platform for the Al Sharptons and Rev. Jacksons. They are trying to avoid the inconvenience of bad press and pissed off donors. So I suppose they have succeeded. They have also managed to taint the definition of Hate Crimes, and slighted anyone who has ever been the victim of a real one. In my mind, that is tantamount to a hate crime in and of itself.