Rumors of my demise are greatly exaggerated..........sorry.

I got an email from some fan (douche bag) hoping that my lack of posts meant I had passed on to the great jail house in the sky. While I hate to disappoint someone who took the time to pen a three line email, full of errors, I'm very much alive albeit uninspired. That said, I never consider derogatory emails a bad thing, in fact I kind of like the fact that I can inspire some tub of lard to stop eating chili with his fingers  long enough to express himself.
Since I'm here I might as well phone one in...................

The heat in Kansas City is making folks lose their rabbit ass minds, seriously. I have to drive around in this shit all day long, busy delivering everything from blueprints to spleens, and frankly I'm getting a little tired of the daily near death experience of sharing our dilapidated metro roads with a bunch of wobble heads who believe multitasking while driving is  a good use of time. By the end of the day I'm spewing so much venom, my car window is covered in spittle and my blood pressure is nearing 4 digits. Seriously, the vile shit that comes out of my mouth makes Eminem sound like Mr. Rogers.  In light of my new and improved bad attitude, I've found a new hero.

Steven Slater, the Jet Blue flight attendant who turned into a rice crispie, snapped , crackled, and popped, after a passenger refused to sit her ass down and wait like everyone else to retrieve her bag from the overhead compartment. According to the news, some woman who felt she was above everyone else on the plane, got up and started to retrieve her bag from the overhead. She apparently told Slater to go fuck himself when he asked her to wait until the plane stopped moving. She dropped the door to the overhead on Slaters head. Slater asked for an apology and thats when the woman told him to break one off in his own balloon knot.  Slater got on the intercom, told everyone to go fuck themselves, grabbed a beer from the fridge, hit the escape hatch, slid down the ramp, and went home.

Now you might be thinking that Slater pulled a bone head move, flushed his career down the toilet, and ended up getting arrested to boot.  But this is America, and here, in this country, Slater just made a major climb up the ladder of success. Look for this guy to be all over the morning news shows and talk show circuit. Look for a book, a reality show, whatever. You can bet your ass he will parlay his moment into some serious cheddar. Flight attendants are alot like wait staff, in that they have to put up with a steady stream of mouth breathers, ass hats, and shit heels. Kudos to Slater for not  poppin this pushy beeatch in her soup cooler.

Now I hate to be stereotyping the guy, but I think our boy might be teh ghey, not that there is anything wrong with that. In fact, I figure dude just squashed a major stereotype about teh gheys being sissified. Slater manned up, did a kamikaze on his 28 year career, and then did a Stone Cold Steve Austin by knocking down a stiff cold Bud on his way to sliding down the chute.....( No Seacrest on that entire last sentence).   My point is, Slater finally had all he could take,  rather than tuck tail and take  more  unwarranted abuse, he made a stand.

So today I'd  like to salute a real American Hero, Stone Cold Stewardess Dood, Steven (oh no you didn't bitch) Slater.