Occupy Wall Street ....The Amish Occupation. Join us. We have pie.

It's been a minute since my last post. Unless you count the one yesterday. I've been busy protesting Wall Street, corporate greed, and all things capitalistic. I had forsaken any and everything related to or provided by the war mongering, greedy, corporations. And by forsaken, I mean everything except, my smart phone, laptop, Internet connection, car, gas, electricity, medicine, and a whole bunch of other shit that I'm convinced I cant live without, and am totally entitled to as an American. Other than those basic staples of life, I'm living off the grid. No longer shackled by the bonds of capitalism. No longer enslaved by the corporations. I AM THE 99 PERCENT.

I was originally going to join the Kansas City Occupy Wall Street, but frankly I can't stand the smell of Patchouli oil. And I'm not about to pitch a tent at Penn Valley Park. (no Seacrest). The last time a straight dude pitched a tent at Penn Valley Park he walked funny for a week.  While the Kansas City protesters were holding a rally/demonstration in front of City Hall , on a Sunday, apparently it's productive to protest the greedy gubmint on a weekend in front of a gubmint building occupied by a half dozen Nigerian janitors, I was busy with my Amish brothers, standing in solidarity against big oil, button manufactures, electric companies, and the frozen pie crust and filling industry.

We rode en masse to the demonstration.

We shut down Big Oil.

We shut down big business.

We shut down a gambling den / pool hall.

We ate pie.

Rather than raise hell, we raised a barn.

Then it happened. I never saw it coming. I was kicked out of the Amish of Mo. OWS movement. It all started with my beard, or lack of. Goatees are apparently a sign of Capitalism and pridefulness. My Amish cohorts told me I'd need to let my beard grow out if I was going to be a member of the group. My short trimmed goatee was putting on airs. They told me I'd have to wear a straw hat and let the hair grow on my shaved head. Then they found out I offered weed and a lady Schick to one of their hairy bonnet wearing women. They pulled my pie card. I was excommunicated from the OWS/ Amish division.

I've returned to KC. I went back to work for the greedy corporation that has enslaved me by enabling me to pay my bills and have shit like food, electricity, communication devices, and buttons. Not for nothing, but buttons are a highly under appreciated luxury. It's a bitch trying to peel the petticoat on a furry dutch speaking broad whose clothes are held together with hooks.   So, if you were asking yourself " Where's MM", now you know.  I was protesting, making a difference. Fighting the man. Now I'm back, just another zombie drinking corporate koolaid. Just like most of you rubes.

***Clearly this was a weak-ish attempt at parody, and some pretty harsh anti-Amish rhetoric.  Same difference. I've been following the OWS thing, and I'm going to delve into it tomorrow.