Prison for Dummies...chapter 4... Hallelujah and pass the Shiv

One of the most peculiar phenomena in prison, at least from where I stood, was the large number of devoutly religious types in the joint. It wouldn't have surprised me if I had seen a long line of monks in hair shirts , walking in a circle, smacking themselves with whips and chanting Gregorian chants. With that in mind, today's topic is Religion in prison. I am going to break down the various religious groups in the joint. Feel free to pick one out for yourself, or make up your own.

Christians make up a large percentage of the religious types in the joint. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to knock anyone's beliefs, at least not folks out in the free world who practice what they preach, and walk the walk. To each his own. That said, i don't think there is a more annoying and counterfeit group of people in the joint , than Christians. The other religious groups don't do much recruiting, they are almost secretive. But the guys who spent a lifetime doing dirt on the outside seem to be the same ones who get locked up and decide they are John the Baptist all of a sudden. It always struck me as disingenuous. On more than one occasion I was approached by some knuckle head who wanted to share the word with me while I was walking the track or waiting to play handball. They never got the response they were looking for, and they never bothered to approach me a second time.

Native American Religion

Right about know you are thinking , (A) Huh, Ive never heard of that religion, or (B) Oh shit, MM is about to say something offensive to, or about Native Americans. The answer to A. is, yes Native Americans have their own set of spiritual beliefs. The answer to B. is, of course I am not going to say anything to offend Native Americans, at least not intentionally. My first encounter with a "Native American" spiritual gathering came a couple of weeks in to my sentence. I saw a circle of guys sitting in a grassy area in the center of the prison yard. Upon closer inspection it turned out to be about a dozen of them. A few of them were wearing headbands , some festooned with a feather or two, there were a couple of them beating a drum, they were burning what I assume was sage, one guy was doing his best impression of an Indian chant. And here is the kicker,they were all just as white as Pee Wee Herman. There wasn't a single Native American in the circle, not one. In fact, there was enough blonde hair and blue eyes in the group , you could have mistaken them for a bunch of Swedish foreign exchange students. It never fails, we all know at least one white person who will look you straight in the eye and tell you they are one quarter Cherokee. If you are reading this and somewhere in your home is a dream catcher and some wolf statues, I have probably just pissed you off. Sorry, but watching the directors cut of Dances with Wolves 200 times and hanging a dream catcher from your rear view mirror, do not an Indian make.

Muslims

Lots and lots of Muslims in the joint. Very devout, very sanctimonious, and in my opinion , as full of shit as the previous two groups. Again we have someone trying to hedge their bet thinking religion will gain them an edge.

Moorish Americans

Now these guys are about as radical a group you will ever find in the joint. They hate white people, and I do mean hate. They cloak themselves under the guise of religion, but they are nothing more than a black version of the Aryan brotherhood. They wear fez's like the Shriner's, but the only parade these clowns want to have involves putting a white guys head on a stick and parading through the streets. They have a perverted extreme racist view of world history and claim to be direct descendant of the Moors. They refer to Whites as Europeans, doesn't matter if you never set foot out of Paducah Kentucky, you are an European infidel.

There are also Wiccans, Pagans, and Satanists, oh my! There are Jehovah's, Mormons, Hindi's, buddhists, you name it, there are as many religious groups in the joint as there are in the free world. The vast majority of them share one common trait. they are as full of shit as an Amway salesman. You might think that is a harsh statement, coming from a morally bankrupt nonbeliever, but consider this. In studies on recidivism rates in the U.S. state and federal prison system, the return rate is 67 percent over all, and that's a low ball number. In some states its as high as 80 percent. If you break it down in to groups by crime, some of these groups return at 85 ands 90 percent. If all of these Jail House converts were really sincere, don't you think those rates of returning to prison would be much lower? Of course they would.

Yearning for Prosecution at the Yearning for Zion Ranch

So much for calls of religious tolerance and allegations that outsiders "Just don't understand" the religious beliefs of the Pedophile band of scumbags at the Yearning for Zion ranch. Half of the girls between the ages of 14 and 17 either have had children or are currently pregnant.



There really isn't much left to say on this subject, other than every adult over the age of 21 should be looked at for prosecution. The other compounds spread across the country, yes there are more, should be raided and the children removed. Seem harsh? Violation of religious freedom? Tell that to the 14 year old girl who is getting raped in the name of Gawd. I think I have the least compassion for the mothers who have stayed in this cult of freaks and allowed their children to be turned out and abused.



The only thing worse than a young kid being abused, is the mother who stands by and allows it to happen.

Yearning for Zion Ranch. The Dude Ranch for Creepy People.

The name of the place should have been the first warning, The Yearning for Zion Ranch , the second clue should have been the giant white building in the middle of nowhere chock full of young girls, a building Built by first rate pedophile and all around Creepy Creeperson Warren Jeffs. I think it's perfectly reasonable that authorities raided and removed 400 girls from the place. After all Jeff's and his followers are nothing more than a group of sexual predators and victims of said predators, hiding under the guise of religion.

What I find shocking is that authorities waited until a 15 year old girl complained before actually doing anything. And don't give me any freedom of religion or probable cause bullshit either. The Feds and states, especially Texas, have been concocting flimsy cases and acting without probable cause since Christ was in kindergarten. So if they can find away to finagle some inner city drug dealer out of his constitutional rights, they could have done the same in this case.

What we have is a secretive religious compound located in the Texas scrub lands, five miles off of the highway. It is owned and operated by a religious sect known for raising young women to be concubines. The leader was tried and convicted of what is tantamount to child slavery and forced sexual servitude. The women are running around in outfits that make a Laura Ingalls Wilder character look like a Vegas stripper. Did I mention it's in the middle of nowhere and chock full of underage girls? Of course when the question arises as to why the authorities waited so long, the obligatory response will be along the lines of, " We couldn't raid the place until a complaint was made. That would have been a violation of constitutional rights. "

Call me John Stossel's foul mouthed second cousin if you will, but, Give Me a Fucking Break! The real reason Texas and Federal authorities sat on this case had nothing to do with following the letter of the law. It had everything to do with waiting for just the right time to build a case and sensationalize the raid, and nothing to do with protecting the 400 innocent children. No doubt some douchey prosecutor will use this spectacle to further his political career, or some Texas Attorney General will use the Fast Action of authorities as a platform for a gubernatorial campaign down the road.

In the meantime Back at the Ranch, these baby rapers have probably been cracking under age girls panties like pecans at an Amish pie baking party. I really shouldn't make light of the situation, but it is so inconceivable that a group of whack jobs led by this countries most notorious pedophile , Warren Jeffs, was allowed to operate given the groups background. It is both tragically sad and laughable in its absurdity.