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Anyone familiar with the "Activist" group of bicyclist's known as Critical Mass ? If not then its because you haven't been near the westport/ midtown/downtown area on one of the Friday nights when this group of nimrods and douche bags converge like a giant swarm of Dung beetles creating havoc and generally taking over the street. With the weather warming up I expect they will be up to their usual antics. Allow me to relay my experience with meeting this mob of patchouli wearing "Asstivists" on the road one night.
I was headed east on SW Boulevard and had just passed through the intersection at rainbow when I saw them pouring down the hill, they blew the light and converged on SW boulevard, they swarmed over the traffic and pretty much bullied their way in to blocking all 3 lanes on the Blvd. I had my windows down, and these douche bags were riding their hippy Huffy's between lanes, between cars, hoopin and hollering, and ignoring the lights. A few of them even brushed my car with their hands as they rode past. I would guess there were close to 100 of these clowns doing their best Rebel without a clue or a bar of soap imitations.
Before I go any further let me say this about bicyclists. By and large I grudgingly think they have as much right as anyone to be on the road. I question the wisdom in peddling a bike at 20 miles an hour in traffic that is moving 45, but that's not my call. I always try to give bike riders a wide birth. So Ive got no problem with the people who ride their bikes in a responsible manner. I do have problem with paying a
tax for a small minority of people who choose to ride their bikes in Kansas City, as linked on
Tony's Kansas City. Maybe I'm being selfish, but how about we worry about accommodating the vast majority of people who drive on Kansas City streets that resemble bomb cratered roads in Afghanistan. Want to ride your bike ? Want to be treated with the same respect and courtesy as those of us who drive ( getting flipped off, cut off in traffic), then I'm all for your right to ride your bike on the cities streets. I draw the line at having to pay for your privilege to risk your life and hold up traffic, sorry. Here is a thought, how about bicyclists license their bikes and pay taxes and fees, and get insurance, safety inspections, etc. I mean if you want to be treated like a motorist I'm all for it. That's what I thought, bad idea, huh.
Now back to the Critical Mess Zipper heads. If there is one thing I hate, and hate really isn't a strong enough word, but it's the best I can come up with, I despise Bullies. These Critical Mass Clowns come out once a month, under the guise of raising the awareness of the motoring , Tax Paying, public. They claim to obey the rules of the road, they don't, in fact in my encounter with them they blocked intersections holding up traffic at a green light while they ran the red light. So to sum things up, Critical Mass is a group of wanna be rebels who damage the reputation of regular law abiding bicyclist. The police turn their heads while these douche nozzles create havoc and disregard the laws of the road. I can only hope that they don't run across someone who ends up going all
Mike Douglas in Falling Down, on them. If you think I am being a dick about all of this check out this
clowns web page, notice the pics of people holding up flasks of booze in the comment section. Nothing says public awareness like some freak drinking Old Harper while riding a 10 speed. So heads up people, if you are ever in this part of town and you catch a whiff of foul air that smells like a cross between Ass and Patchouli oil, it means you are about to be caught in a Critical Mess.
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