For that matter would you tattoo stars on your face? 
Well if you answered "hell no", to those questions, good for you. Perhaps you could forward a cup O common sense to the now permanently screwed and tattooed young lady captured for posterity in the above photo. Hey I happen to think that most tatts are an art form, Ive got a few myself. However I don't have them on my face, neck, or my meat whistle. You see, there are some places that you shouldn't have ink on. Now here is where the story takes a quick turn down bullshit blvd. As her father ate an ice cream outside, Miss Vlaeminck claims she fell asleep before waking up to find her face covered in the "nightmare" tattoos.
"When he started to tattoo me, I did not feel pain and I fell asleep. I awoke as he tattooed me on the nose and I saw what he had done. I counted 56 stars," she said. Her father is livid, wants to press charges, and of course there is the lawsuit. If you ever had even the smallest tattoo, on the toughest part of your hide, then you won't be surprised as I call out a resounding BULLSHIT on this young Belgian liar. The guy in the picture who is the ink slinger is also crying foul, says she was awake, and he only did what she asked for.
The clown above,heh heh, will be serving 15 calendar years for firing a mac 10 into an empty apartment. Fair enough. He was charged and sentenced under a gang law. Equally fair, sort of. Here is the rub, the gang he belonged to, not the crips, or bloods, not the Outlaws or hells angels. He was no Gangster disciple, nor was he member of the Mexican mafia. Ready? Prosecutors say Dewey Dixon, 32, is a member of the Juggalo Rydas, which police are classifying as a street gang.
Really? Seriously? I had no idea that the Juggalo types were actually a gang. I always assumed it was a bunch of goofy white kids, in clown paint and hockey jerseys who smoked weed and listened to really hideous music. Learn something new everyday. I'm not sure how he got caught, perhaps he was caught while trying to run away from the scene of the crime in his really big clown shoes. Maybe he was captured when the cops pulled over his YUGO which had 14 occupants and a Chihuahua in a ballerina suit inside. Whatever the case may be, thank god and Emmit Kelly that the streets are safe for at least 15 years. I took the liberty of using my mad skillz to put some appropriate Juggalo make up on Dewey. Did I forget to mention his name is Dewey? For what it's worth, his brothers, Huey and Louie, are not juggalos. They are employed and leading productive lives in Disneyland. Sad Clown............
That's it for this week. Have a safe weekend. Hat tip to KC Star's Juggalo Jimmy Hart..
