Let me go on record here, I'm no activist, animal, vegetable, nor mineral. I eat more meat than Ryan Seacrest. Okay, that's a bit of a stretch, heh. Despite being so sick that I can't stand myself, I drug my ass out to the PETA protest, guilt being my motivation. Sadly not guilt over baby seal killers, or red necked Kentucky chicken purveyors, rather the guilt of neglecting my readers. So hear is what I came away with.
There were two, count em, two, twenty something cave chicks. That's it. Not a single local news station, nobody from the star, not a soul from the pitch, no other bloggers to be found. There was just me, two cave women, and the occasional well heeled soccer mom who looked at the two protesters like they were smeared in feces and non designer perfume. The best part of my short stay was watching the reactions, the facial expressions of the people these girls approached. One of the guys who wander the Plaza with a trash barrel on wheels was approached by one of the PETA girls. She tried to hand him a leaflet and he looked like she tried to hand him a skinned seal. The guy almost pushed his trash can out in traffic trying to get as far away as possible.
I only spoke with one of the women, the other girl must be a method actor, she never gave me more than a grunt, and spent the ten minutes I was there pacing back and forth hitting the sidewalk with a plastic Fred Flintstone club. I was expecting , nay hoping for some good old fashioned West Coast Crazy, and that girl did not disappoint. The other Peta girl took her plastic Billy Bob Teeth out and answered some questions. They were from California, they travel around doing this, Kansas City had the poorest turnout of any city they have been to. They tried to get me to hold a banner, but I was afraid it would destroy my street cred. Instead I took a couple of pics of them with normal Peta Girls camera, and then took some of my own.
Two other items of interest: When I walked up with my camera the girl asked me if I was Tony. I gave her a funny look and she said "Kansas City Tony?" I explained to her that no I wasn't Tony of Tony's Kansas City. And as any self respecting ego driven blogger would do, I went on to say that I was not only better looking than TKC, my blog was more substantive and well written than TKC. None of this being particularly true, that however didn't stop me from dissing someone to elevate my own status. Last but not least, I actually came away from the brief meeting with a little respect for people who devote time out of their lives for a cause they believe in. Okay, that last line was bullshit, I went there hoping to see scantily clad young women with a twist of crazy . One final thing, the talking cave girl told me there was supposed to have been a bunch of Kansas City Activists there as well, but they all called in sick. So I expect all of you tight black jean wearing emo douche bags to turn in your Dead Kennedys t shirts and checkered Coverse Chuck Taylors, pussies.
