Time to man up, and issue an apology..............

I was a little hasty yesterday when I took PETA to task for being a bunch of wobble heads. In my previous post I went after PETA like an Eskimo opening a can of club wielding whoop ass on a baby seal. I questioned their sanity for taking the President to task over killing a fly. Well they showed me, and I was dead wrong. They aren't crazy at all. In response to Obama using what was clearly some kind of Kung Fu move on the defenseless fly, the good people at PETA have sent President Bama a Katcha Bug. Bruce Friedrich of PETA issued the following statement "We support compassion for the even the smallest animals," says Bruce Friedrich, VP for Policy at PETA. “We support giving insects the benefit of the doubt."
Friedrich says PETA supports "brushing flies away rather than killing them" and was disappointed that the President had gone ahead and squashed the pesky fly.
So there you have it, a perfectly reasonable reaction to an unreasonable action.

Who am I kidding, these people have bought so deeply into their own bullshit that it's not even funny. Okay, it's pretty funny. What is really funny is that PETA has a whole line of awesome craziness that you can purchase to show support and your love of all things living. That baby seal at the top of the post, looking at you with those big baby seal eyes, adorned with the logo " Give Hugs Not Clubs." I can't think of a better good luck charm to hang from the mirror of your Smart Car when you are on a late night bombing run at the local animal research lab.

Already have a baby seal? How about a refrigerator magnet of an adorable fuckin chicken proclaiming "I am not a nugget"

Or a copy of Meet your Meat, with wacka doodle Alec Baldwin gracing the cover?

Oh, and here is a little live mouse trap, comes complete with a/c and flat screen television.

Lest I forget, here is the Katcha Bug. How you get the fly to jump in the fuckin thing, I don't know.

So I retract my earlier apology, and in it's stead I offer PETA the Following " Are you fuckin kiddin me?"

PETA loves your Midtown Miscreant

Let me go on record here, I'm no activist, animal, vegetable, nor mineral. I eat more meat than Ryan Seacrest. Okay, that's a bit of a stretch, heh. Despite being so sick that I can't stand myself, I drug my ass out to the PETA protest, guilt being my motivation. Sadly not guilt over baby seal killers, or red necked Kentucky chicken purveyors, rather the guilt of neglecting my readers. So hear is what I came away with.

There were two, count em, two, twenty something cave chicks. That's it. Not a single local news station, nobody from the star, not a soul from the pitch, no other bloggers to be found. There was just me, two cave women, and the occasional well heeled soccer mom who looked at the two protesters like they were smeared in feces and non designer perfume. The best part of my short stay was watching the reactions, the facial expressions of the people these girls approached. One of the guys who wander the Plaza with a trash barrel on wheels was approached by one of the PETA girls. She tried to hand him a leaflet and he looked like she tried to hand him a skinned seal. The guy almost pushed his trash can out in traffic trying to get as far away as possible.

I only spoke with one of the women, the other girl must be a method actor, she never gave me more than a grunt, and spent the ten minutes I was there pacing back and forth hitting the sidewalk with a plastic Fred Flintstone club. I was expecting , nay hoping for some good old fashioned West Coast Crazy, and that girl did not disappoint. The other Peta girl took her plastic Billy Bob Teeth out and answered some questions. They were from California, they travel around doing this, Kansas City had the poorest turnout of any city they have been to. They tried to get me to hold a banner, but I was afraid it would destroy my street cred. Instead I took a couple of pics of them with normal Peta Girls camera, and then took some of my own.

Two other items of interest: When I walked up with my camera the girl asked me if I was Tony. I gave her a funny look and she said "Kansas City Tony?" I explained to her that no I wasn't Tony of Tony's Kansas City. And as any self respecting ego driven blogger would do, I went on to say that I was not only better looking than TKC, my blog was more substantive and well written than TKC. None of this being particularly true, that however didn't stop me from dissing someone to elevate my own status. Last but not least, I actually came away from the brief meeting with a little respect for people who devote time out of their lives for a cause they believe in. Okay, that last line was bullshit, I went there hoping to see scantily clad young women with a twist of crazy . One final thing, the talking cave girl told me there was supposed to have been a bunch of Kansas City Activists there as well, but they all called in sick. So I expect all of you tight black jean wearing emo douche bags to turn in your Dead Kennedys t shirts and checkered Coverse Chuck Taylors, pussies.

Fast Eddie Friday

Yeah I know, I said I was going to do this on Thursdays, then every Friday, and Ive done neither. So sue me, in the meantime, hang on cause here we go, Fast and Loose.

This lovely story and accompanying photo come out of Memphis, home of the King, shitty dry BBQ and those ducks that parade through a hotel everyday. PETA is one of those organizations that I have mixed feelings about. On the one hand they bring attention to the mistreatment of animals, on the other , they just go way the fuck out there in their methods of message delivery.

They also seem to show more concern for the lowly chicken than for their own peeps, as evidenced by the above photo. As you can see there are two pantie clad nubile young ladies wrapped like a couple of flank steaks, laying in the sun, while the cops and another PETA person decide if they are okay. One of the girls was complaining that she was ill, in pain and medium well as she baked under the hot assed Memphis sun. Normally a couple of pantie clad chica's in Saraann wrap would be kind of hot, but not with all the blood and possibility of being roasted alive. I may have mentioned this before, but I like repeating myself. If you go to outlandish extremes to deliver your message, people will just write you off as CRAZY. Case in point, wrapping two humans in shrink wrap and baking them in the sun.

So rumors run rampant when it comes to the first couple of Kansas City, The Funks. Now according to TKC and a few others, there is talk of a settlement in the complaint by a now terminated employee of the Mayors office. I'm no political pundit, and I tend to not delve into the area of politics too often, frankly it bores me, however, I am sick and tired of these two Ass Clowns treating the Mayors office as their personal playground. I am equally pissed that the mayor and council cut tons of services, funding and city jobs, only to consider shelling out money we supposedly don't have for shit like remodeling their offices and settling EEOC complaints. So listen up Mr. Mayor, grow a pair of balls and tell your goofy, uncouth, bare foot, idiotic other half to take her ass home. You have made a mockery of the office you were sworn to uphold, you have cost this city money, and most important and offensive, you have shown utter contempt and disrespect to the people who narrowly elected you to office. And you might want to refresh that resume and get it posted on monster dot com, I have a feeling you wont be back for a second term.

And on a related note to the above paragraph on PETA. I have a couple of parakeets, many of you may recall my plan to teach them to ride my Yorkie and perform tricks. I figured it would be a nifty way to get rich, not really. Anywho, Ive got a couple of parakeets and Ive got no time for them. Seriously, I've got to find them a home. Between the ever increasing pack of dogs I posses, I am running the risk of ending up on the news. So if one of my readers is in the market for two small birds who are capable of making huge messes, then you have come to the right place. They come with cage, toys, food, and I will deliver or you can pick them up. The only stipulation is that if you pick them up, you will have to sign a sworn affidavit to never reveal where I actually live, or the squalor that I am wallowing in. Seriously, the birds have to go. I just don't have time for them. .

Heather , everyone's favorite drug pusher (nurse) posted some pictures of a pony, and is trying to pass it off as a puppy. I have to take exception with her contention that the huge beast occupying her home is a puppy. While admittedly cute, it is not a puppy, but an equine in puppies clothing. I submit to you my loyal reader, puppies.

Everyone have a safe weekend and I'll see you on Monday.