I Got Rear Ended in Westport and I Wasnt Even Drunk

That got your attention huh? No I didn’t switch teams,there was no drunken Pirate and Cabin Boy reenactment. Allow me to rephrase that. Yesterday a young woman ass ended my car. It was about 10 AM, streets clear and dry, lined with pricey imported cars sporting JoCo tags. The car in front of me decides to stop in the middle of the road for no apparent reason. I wait a bit, then give em a light honk on the horn. Nothing. I look in my rear view mirror and I see a big shitty looking Pontiac like a block away, I lay on the horn, dickwad in front of me sits still, Pontiac decides to actually look at the fucking road, just in time to slow to 15 or 20 MPH and then, BOOM, CRASH , BANG. ASS HAT IN FRONT OF ME MOVES and speeds away.

I get out and tell her to follow me into the parking lot of Buzzard Beach. The following account is pretty accurate.

Me " Lets exchange insurance info."

Her " Ummm, errr, I don’t have insurance, I was going to get some tomorrow."

Me " You are shitting me , right?"

Her "No."

Me "Do you have a drivers License"

Her "Not on me."

So I call the cops, they don’t want to send anyone. Tell me to exchange info. I explain she has no insurance. Well that’s not a Police matter I’m told. She has no FUCKING LICENSE I explain loudly. We'll send someone, click.

Of course she assures me she will pay for it. Call me a pessimist but if you cant be responsible enough to carry insurance and a DL, I don’t have a high degree of confidence that you will do the right thing in this case either. I could be wrong, the trauma from the accident may propel her into being a regular Dudley Fuckin Dooright, but I still have my doubts.

If she had been a man there is a good possibility that the line about "Getting insurance tomorrow" would have resulted in one of us shitting teeth for the rest of the week, but she was a woman, and I would never strike a woman, especially one that was as big as she was. I’ve no doubt she could clean my clock, and the last thing I needed at that point was a large Hispanic woman giving me a beat down in broad daylight. So I opt for my usual line of attack, acidic wit, and sarcastically ask her if she will drop by my place tomorrow after she gets insurance and run into my car again. She doesn’t get it.

I could go on and on about people being irresponsible , etc, blah , blah, et al. But we all are well aware that the world is full of those types, so what’s the point. What I don’t get is why, out of all of the cars in Westport do I get hit by the biggest uninsured piece of shit car on the on the road? What, I cant get hit by a club owner, a hung over business type, at least an insured cocktail waitress? Does it have to be an uninsured idiot who is a bigger broke dick than me? Answer of course is a resounding , YES.

Whadda ya gonna do?