It's Fast Eddie Felson Friday......Huh ?

Yes I know it's only Thursday, but I had my days mixed up, so just humor me and pretend its Friday.

First here is a quote from fast Eddie, played by Paul Newman in one of the greatest movies ever made. " How should I play that one, Bert? Play it safe? That's the way you always told me to play it: safe... play the percentage. Well, here we go: fast and loose."

Two reasons I chose that line and theme for what may become my Friday mainstay post. First of all I love that scene in the movie, and it's a way to incorporate it in to my blog. The second reason is the last line of the quote, Here we go, fast and loose. My plan is to give a quick string of short comments on various subjects. A shoot from the hip and possible foot in mouth fashion of writing. Not much different from my daily writing, just shorter and a variety of subjects.

So here we go Fast and Lose.

The mayor and city council just gave themselves 4 percent raises. Not a big deal, except the city is in an ever tightening budget crunch, we don't have enough money to hire more cops, fix our roads , and several hundred city jobs were just cut. On the bright side the mayor and city council finally agree on something.

These young morons are lobbying to get the right to carry concealed handguns on college campuses. Great fucking idea! This from the same age and demographic group that think binge drinking, hazing, date rape, falling off of balconies during spring break, and exclusive discriminatory fraternities are all acceptable behavior. Im no rocket scientist, but the guns used in the last two or more campus shootings were committed with, legally obtained guns. Maybe the age limit to buy a pistol should be raised to 25. That way most shootings would be relegated to criminal acts in the poor sections of towns throughout the nation. Trust me, if these crazy college shooters couldn't have purchased pistols legally, they wouldn't have had a clue how or where to get an illegal one.

Apparently in the matter of house broken dogs who have just had a litter of puppies, all bets are off. I stepped in a puddle of piss the size of Lake Shasta this morning. On the bright side it was in the bathroom and not on the carpet. Here is the culprit and her newly arrived offspring. I want my closet back already.

And finally the Pope has denounced pedophiles and says they wont be allowed to be members of the priesthood. So how is he going to insure this bold statement is a reality. A cub scout on a string, drag it past a priest, like a fake mouse past a cat? I think they will just do a better job of covering it up. But it does give me the opportunity to post one of my favorite jokes. Catholics should stop reading now, or risk being offended.

A Catholic Goes to Confession

In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back."
Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I have truly sinned, I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."
Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the father give for oral sex?"
The altar boy said, "a Snickers bar and a Coke."

And on that tasteless note, I hope everyone has a great weekend.