Strange Bunkfellows.....Because there are no beds in prison...

If we are to believe Phil Spector, Charlie Manson sent him a kite in hopes of meeting the woman killing, and now wigless music mogul. The news, I first saw it on Crime Scene Kansas City, is calling it a note, but there are no notes in prison. When you send a written message in the joint, it's called a kite. According to Rachelle Spector the kite was delivered via a guard at California's Corcoran State Prison. I'm guessing Phil is doing his time in a yellow jumpsuit, or whatever special color is reserved for protective custody inmates in California's prison system. Phil is starting out on the wrong foot already. Spector has not only shit in his nest with the guards, he has shown a propensity as a stool pigeon, which wont bode well should he ever be placed in general population. Someone should send him a print of my Prison for dummies series. The only thing standing between Spector and hundreds of suitors, who would love to have Phil Spector hand washing their socks and draws (underwear), in a stainless steel toilet, is the guards.

Phil probably isn't aware of his major faux pas. He is just another rich guy who finally got himself in a pinch that his money couldn't extricate him from. I'm not sure if Spector hired a prison consultant prior to being sent to the joint, but he should have. It's not enough to check into protective custody in order to stay safe in the joint. The weak, infirm, celebrities, and high profile new arrivals in the nations prisons have targets on their backs. With more Wall Street swindlers and big biz folks being sent to the can, prison consultants are becoming a way for the green recently convicted inmate to make a smoother transition from the world to their new home, Prison. But how much of the prison consulting business is hype? Quite a bit as it turns out.

More than a few Prison Consultation websites make some promises they can't keep. They claim to be able to help you get placed in a particular prison, particularly in the Federal System. Bullshit, pure, plain, and simple. You can request a particular location, the judge can recommend, but at the end of the day, the Bureau of Prisons will send you where they see fit. These consultants also sell dreams of sentence departure, special programs like drug treatment and work release. The truth is if you qualify for any of these things the judge might recommend them, or the person who does your pre sentence investigation will recommend any special programs. That's not to say that there isn't a niche for prison consultation. Depending on the crime, sentence, and the new convict, solid advice and schooling can help you avoid some major pitfalls, and in some cases keep you from playing the role of victim in the reenactment of the rape scene in American History X. Edward Norton is a cool guy and all, but nobody wants to play him in the joint. If you never saw American History X, go rent it, it's probably one of the top 5 prison movies ever made, and it's a factual account of what can happen if you fall out of favor in the joint.

The Prison Consultation field is really taking off, and I'm in the process of trying to elbow my way in as we speak, more on that in the not too distant future. Here are a few of the bigger fish in the prison consultation field.

http://www.americanprisonconsultants.com/

http://www.federalprisonconsultants.com/fees.html

http://www.bestprisonconsultant.com/?gclid=CP3muYvIh5wCFSDxDAodY1iS_g

http://executiveprisonconsultants.com/home.html

Most of these sites seem to focus on pre sentence stuff, or they sell their product playing on the fear of the person about to head off to the joint. The truth is your lawyer and the pre sentence people are going to do more to help or hurt you than these people as far as your sentence goes. As for what to expect, how to act, and most importantly, What Not to Do, thats the type of advice that can really be a matter of life and death, or help to prevent you from becoming one of the Wildebeests at the watering hole. Anyone who watches the National Geographic channel knows what happens to the Wildebeest at the watering hole, it rarely ends good for the Wildebeest.

In a perfect world over privileged douche bags like Spector would end up being passed around like the collection plate at a Southern Baptist Tent Revival. But this ain't a perfect world. The truth is Spector will probably serve his time in Protective Custody, short of running into some crazy guy who slipped through the cracks, boredom will be Spectors biggest nemesis. Still it's kind of fun to envision Spector looking like the crypt keeper spooning with Charlie Manson.

Stoopid Twosday....the late edition. There's no crying in baseball and there is no Concierge in prison

I found this story over at Crime Scene Kansas City: " Texas billionaire R. Allen Stanford has filed a motion to move to a different jail, citing “oppressive” conditions". Stanford is awaiting trial over a 7 billion dollar Ponzi scheme. He claims that he can't get a fair trial unless he is moved to another facility. This is in part because of electronic discovery that isn't available at the jail he is currently housed in. But here's the rub, he also sites cramped conditions, a dark cell, and 8 or 10 roommates. Oh, I almost forgot, no windows or a/c. Apparently the A/c is broken. This nimrod should have spent some of that 7 billion on a prison consultant, or better yet, he should have perused my Prison for Dummies series. As you all know, if you have been paying attention, I was passed around between the states and the Feds, so I've had a taste of both types of facilities. Some fed joints have a/c, few if any state run prisons have a/c. A trash can full of ice parked behind a fan will help keep you cool-ish, if you can afford a fan. Stanford can also rent a chick with a kickstand (prison drag queen) to fan him with a checkerboard, while wearing koolaid rouge and boot polish penciled in eyebrows. As for the cramped conditions, he ain't seen nothin yet. Shit gets worse.

Noise, constant, never ending, noise. If Stanford doesn't like the cramped conditions and lack of proper amenities, just wait until he makes it to the joint. The noise can drive you mad. It never gets totally quiet in prison. There will always be someone making noise, young black guys rapping back and forth from cell to cell, tier to tier. The insane inmates who hold screaming contests in the middle of the night, berating some antagonist that only they can see. Steel doors racking, slamming, the hacks keys clanging, the disembodied voice that comes on the loud speaker informing you of chow, or yard, or lights out. The noise never stops. The Stanfords and Madoffs will never see hard time as far as the facilities go. Even when they get sentences that are essentially life, they wont make it to a really hard place. But that doesn't mean prison wont be hard on them. After a life of swanky digs, and deep pockets, even the best of prisons are akin to hell on earth for these pampered rich crooks. High end white collar guys like Stanford and Madoff don't have street degrees. They never rubbed elbows or came in contact with the predatory sharks that swim through this nations prison systems. Small recompense for the countless people who were robbed of their life savings, but it beats nothin.

One guy that Madoff and Stanford wont meet in federal prison is Skip Sheppard. I wrote about Skip in this post. Skip was one of the 5 people convicted in the 1998 murders of 6 Kansas City firefighters. The Star did an in depth piece on the case. It was a good investigative piece of work, which focused on several jailhouse informants who were recanting their previous statements that helped win a conviction in the case. I personally believe that a couple of the defendants might have taken a free case, but Skip and his brother Frank, not so much. What I know to be fact about Skip is that he left a small trail of bodies along the path that led him to federal prison.
Kella Ward died in a car wreck on 150 highway and Botts road in Grandview. Skip was high and drunk, and behind the wheel. That is a fact. Gary Ward a cousin of Kella Ward, , went fishing with Skip, he turned up dead in lake Jacomo, with a nasty head wound. That is a fact. Troy McAdams, lived next door to me, a guy I knew fairly well, a small time pot and coke dealer, who lived with his mother, turned up dead in the woods off of Blue River road. Skip and a couple of degenerates were busted a few days later in Troys car. That is a fact. Skip was a sociopath, a mean spirited brutal bully. The worlds a better place without him. Death seemed to follow Skip wherever he went, in the end it caught up to him.

You can't stop a random bullet when your hands are tied.

Two women are dead. One a lawyer for Kansas Dept. of Education who was traveling down Cleaver Blvd. after seeing a show at Starlight. The other woman was sitting at a bus stop on Troost. The two women probably had little in common on the surface other than the apparent random bad luck of being in the exact wrong spot at the worst possible time. I had two reactions, which I'll readily admit. It's the same reaction most people had, even though most won't admit it. The lawyer heading home to Lawrence, who caught a bullet with her mother and daughter sitting inches away in the same car, drew a surprised reaction. The lady on Troost, probably a black woman, whose death was just as tragic, just as random, and who is just as dead, ....well it was on Troost, not that big of a surprise. I don't make this admission absent of the knowledge that it's wrong headed, or the automatic assumption that one woman was a successful white woman, the other a less fortunate black woman. Both deaths are equally senseless, equally tragic, and should be equally shocking, but they aren't. Hold that thought, we'll get back to it.

GANGS and The Police. Lets just blame it on gangs, and guns of course, throw drugs in for good measure, call it war between rival gangs over drug turf, slap a bow on that box O bullshit and call it a day.

"I've heard there are gangs going on that are in disputes," says Melba Curls, the Third District At-Large city council woman. Really? No shit? You could stand a dozen council people, activists, and columnists in a line, and they would all readily buy that bullshit about "Gangs, turf battles, drugs, and guns". Ask those same people why it is so easy to catch a stray bullet, and they will blame the police. They will also be quick to do a hatchet job on the KCPD for buying cars, racial profiling, lack of manpower, complacency in relation to the urban core, the east side, and black folks in general. People want it both ways, and they want to shift the blame away from their own part in it. Is there a gang problem in Kansas City, sure. Do the police target random young black guys who just happen to be rolling through the hood with only their parking lights on at 2 in the morning, yep, you betcha. A 21 year old kid in a 60,000 dollar car rolling down prospect, is probably going to get stopped. There in lies the problem. The catch 22.

I can say with 99.999 percent certainty that stray bullets coming from 59th and Walrond, or 34th and Troost were not fired from the barrel of guns owned by pasty white guys preaching door to door for the Mormons. I may be off a little on my figures, feel free to jump in and correct me right after you call me out as a racist middle aged white guy, but I believe somewhere in the neighborhood of 80 percent of the 60 something homicides in this city were committed by young black guys, with an equal number of the victims being, young black guys. The problem with making the statement, if you are white, even though it's an undeniable fact, it will be deemed racist.

Groups and activists are calling out the police for complacency, for doing too little, for not giving a shit, because it's black folks being killed. These same people would scream racism, and do, if the police did what was really necessary to stem the flow of blood in the streets. You need look no further than the City of Los Angeles. When gang or drug related violence was reaching it's zenith in L.A., folks raised hell, pointed fingers at the cops for not doing enough. When the police put the hammer down and started kicking in doors and cracking heads, the violence tapered off and the cries of racial profiling were followed by lawsuit upon lawsuit. We want it both ways. We want the streets to be safe from rolling predators. Animals who think nothing of squeezing off a dozen rounds while rolling down a major road less than 3 blocks from the police station, or in a residential area intersected by a major highway. In the same breath we don't want the police to be too rough or insensitive.

The problem isn't gangs, drugs, or racism. It's fear. The police are afraid to take a really hard stance, to really apply pressure. That shit will get you sued, cost you your job, and in some cases get you tossed in jail, which isn't an attractive proposition for your average law enforcement type. If the police would go back to the police that I grew up avoiding, the ones who would peel your cap back for you when they caught you dirty, we would have a lot less violence in the street. If they would go back to those mass raids on strings of dope houses, rounding up known drug dealers, and suspected gang members, violent crime, especially these random killings of innocent bystanders would cease to be so commonplace. I'm not suggesting that the cops go all Rodney King and start beating down young black males in the street, just the ones who are dirty. Look, it's simple, do the math. A small number of young, black, thugs, have created an environment that is unsafe, be it sitting at a bus stop or a stoplight. Absent fathers, piss poor schools, lack of jobs, racial disparity, all of these factors play a role in breeding the predatory criminals who are running the streets of this city. All of these issues need to be addressed, shit needs to be fixed, that's how you deal with preventing crime in the future. To deal with the here and now, you need more cops in the streets, more drug house raids, and taking a hard stance on the current school of sharks who roam the streets, who would kill you just as soon as look at you. Pretending that you can reason with these guys is moronic and only enables them to continue destroying the lives of innocent people, their own people. YOU CAN'T ALTER THE FUTURE IF YOU DON'T DEAL WITH THE PRESENT. Period.

The urban core isn't made up of drug dealers , crack heads, and extras from Boyz in the Hood. The people in the most crime ridden neighborhoods are by and large, honest, decent folks, who want the same things as the next guy. They want to sit on their porch in the evening without fear of catching a bullet. they want their children to have the life they never knew, never will know. What keeps them from realizing this most basic of desires, is a small minority of thugs, who operate with impunity. Most of these folks would welcome whatever it takes to clean up the streets, short of targeting innocent people, or just taking the perp to an alley and putting one in their brain pan. The bleeding hearts, over educated white folks who take it upon themselves to lay all the blame at the feet of the wealthy, or the complacency of the police. The activist groups who put ex cons on the payroll in the hopes of guarding the chicken coop with a reformed fox. The community leaders who march up and down the street screaming racism because the cops don't do enough, or because they went to far. They all have blood on their hands. They saddle the cops with the burden of "protect and serve", then wait to pounce when they don't approve of their tactics. They want it both ways. You can't go hand fishing for piranhas, unless you want to pull back a stump. You can't rehab a predatory criminal through hugs, drum circles, and candlelight vigils. The problem isn't oversized white T shirts in the Power and Light district, it's the guy who is dressed like that who is slinging dope from some rundown shit hole while making his neighbors lives miserable. It isn't hard to tell one from the other, and I'm not advocating going after the countless young black kids who dress that way, just the criminals.

I realize more than a few people will say that this post is full of racism. Just the ramblings of an out of touch white guy. The problem with that view is these people either go out of their way to blame it all on the cops or white folks in general, or they get all of their opinions from some book on societal ills and racial disparity. I watched these young guys walk the prison yards, I've seen them in action both in prison and on the streets of Midtown. Blaming it all on the typical bleeding heart rhetoric, or denying it's existence altogether, is a huge part of the problem, and it's largely the reason the streets of Kansas City aren't safe. I'll retract every single word that I've put in this post, just as soon as someone can show me one instance of a drive by being perpetrated by pasty white Mormons on 10 speeds. You can't develop your way out of the problem, you can't pray your way out of the problem, and you damn sure can't just politely ask the bad guys to stop killing each other ,and whoever happens to get in the way. You have to deal with hard cases in a hard way. If you combine support for the police with education and development of the urban core, then you might see a turn around. In the meantime, you might want to avoid this city altogether, because it ain't gonna happen anytime soon if ever.

I never leave home without it.

I try to always remember to take my camera with me, you just never know what you will run across. Here are but a few examples.

Saturday I was downtown when I came across this bit of stupidity. I didn't see it happen, just captured the end result. Maybe the tanker truck was already in to his turn and the car tried to shoot in there, or maybe the truck was to blame. Either way, the results could have been a lot worse, nobody was hurt.. The tanker was carrying Carbon Dioxide.

What I found especially interesting was that it happened in plain view of several cops who were standing outside the Police headquarters at Hocus Pocus 12th and Locust. I had time to circle the block, get pics from both angles, and watch the fire dept. Drive past the clueless police officers. Maybe they thought the tanker just decided to park in the middle of 12th street, mid turn.

I was in the Great White North yesterday. I happened to drive past the Christmas display at a little park, Penguin Park? Anyway this Santa really fucking creeps me out for some reason. It looks like a Stephen King eat your children type Santa to me. It's important to note that there have been no reports of kids being devoured by this particular Santa, but I'm not taking any chances.

I remained behind locked car door, to avoid being devoured by the man eating Santa, and made Max the Yorkie wait to pee until we got to a different park.

I wrote a piece some time back about what I believe is a huge slap in the face to the memory of one of this city's legends, Charlie Parker, The Bird, and his final resting place. I have been schooled on this before, so if I get some of the facts wrong, I'm sure one of my readers will set me straight. The Byrd is buried in this cemetery next to his mother. The marker, while grander than others in this small predominantly black cemetery has always seemed lacking for someone who was such an innovator in the world of Jazz. In my opinion the powers that be, the ones who decided to keep throwing more money in to the failed and mismanaged Jazz District, should have ponied up some of that wasted money on a monument marking the Byrd's final resting place.

Thankfully, there were private parties, organizations, that cared enough to give Parker a marker. What I found on my last visit to the cemetery was more than a little unsettling. A giant woman's shoe, and sex lube, lay under a tree, just feet from charlie Parker's resting place. The entire cemetery is rundown, trash all over the place. The Jazz district itself, is slowly deteriorating as well. The facades and boarded up store fronts look a little more decrepit every time I drive through the place.

The city's solution to Crime, cotton candy, love beads, and choo choo trains.

If we make it pretty, crime will stop. Finally the mayor addresses crime, with a possible record breaking homicide rate in the works, an ever increasing deterioration of the inner city, and an inadequate number of police on the streets, the inept king of Kansas City has the solution. Economic growth by supporting new businesses on the east side, education, and light rail. As noted by Tony's Kansas City and Crime Scene Kansas City, no mention of added police.

I agree with the education part, unfortunately when you have a school board constantly cock blocking progress, the education portion of his 3 part master plan will never come to fruition. Until the old guard is removed from the school board, nothing will change.

Economic development, are you kidding me? Who in their right mind is going to start up a new business, a legit one, on the east side? There is already an overabundance of liquor stores, Criket cellular stores and fast food restraunts with interiors resemble high security banks. People aren't going to risk life and limb by starting businesses in areas that are armed robbery training camps.

Light rail, huh, say what? Look light rail is not now, nor has it ever been anything other than the pipe dream of people who have no real grasp of what this city needs. We dont need shiny commuter trains in this city. We need cops. If we can finance a light rail plan through sales tax, why can we not add more police through the same method? One of the city council members, too lazy to go back and check which one, suggested that we cant arrest our way out of the current crime problems facing this city. As a former criminal, I beg to differ. Nothing slows crime, gives criminals hesitation, like lots and lots of police. I'm not talking regular patrol cops, although that helps, and needs to be part of the solution. We need beefed up career criminal units, gang and drug task forces, detectives to deal with homicides and robberies.

We need to bring in outside help. We need law enforcement people from cities like L A and Detroit. Cops who have dealt with gang problems and violent crime that make ours pale in comparison. Until this city gets a real handle on the street level crime, all of the flowery horse shit about beautification and education and choo choo trains, is nothing but the clueless ramblings of people who rarely if ever travel to the areas that need the most help.

There is an entire population of good, honest, decent people on the city's east side who are being held hostage by a growing number of predators who place no value on life in general. Until the mayor and city council build rapport and confidence with the good people in bad areas, there can be no change, no progress just more of the same. The way to do that is through more effective law enforcement. When people no longer are gunned down while innocently sitting on their front porch, when the businesses that already exist are given more protection from the thugs that constantly use them as their own personal ATMs, when people can go out without fear of getting caught in a crossfire, then and only then will this city's government begin to build a lasting trust with the people who live in the inner city. When the people have confidence in the police and city government, they will report crime, they will be proactive in larger numbers, crime will drop. At the end of the day the truth is really simple, cooperating with the police will get you killed, until that changes, the east side will remain a war zone.

A mans home is his castle, and in this case the King has lost his mind.

"Two mashed Twinkies and some cookies were stuffed in the pockets of his shorts". In Texas, a mans home really is his castle, it's the law. So Jose Luis Gonzalez finds a group of boys ages ranging in age from 11 to 15 inside his trailer house, they broke in, he holds them at gunpoint, makes them sit on the floor, and after beating them with the shotgun, he shoots the 13 year old in the back, at point blank range. Mind you they did break in, and they did steal some junk food, and Texas does allow for a person to protect his property using deadly force. Still, any reasonable, non mouth breathing human being understands that killing kids over snack cakes is not in keeping with the spirit of the Castle Law. So the DA did what he should have done, he charged Jose Luis Gonzalez, with murder. A reasonable reaction toward an unreasonable criminal action.

But folks in this border city scarred by drug violence across the Rio Grande defend Gonzalez's actions. Apparently, more than a few of the folks in town are outraged that Gonzalez was charged. He claims the boy lunged at him, which would explain how he was shot while kneeling, in the back. The recent store robbery turned ticket punching, where the would be robber was killed by the clerk is an example of self defense. A young man pointing a gun at you with the express purpose of taking your money and possibly your life, despite what some people think, was a clear cut case of the bad guy getting his due. Finding 4 kids filling their pockets with twinkies, and then killing one of them is a clear cut case of murder. The people who are defending a home owners right to murder a child, who poses no real threat, who is kneeling while held at gunpoint, those supporters are idiots , cowards, and paranoid freaks that should not be allowed within 100 yards of a super soaker, let alone a gun.

There is a vast difference between being aware of crime, taking measures to insure the safety of you and yours, and the attitude that says killing some kid over snack cakes is perfectly reasonable. There are a whole lot of people who posses guns, yet have no business in the vicinity of a sharp # 2 pencil, let alone a gun. Criminals shouldn't have guns, but they do, so I cant fault the sane rational person who wants to even the playing field. The problem is along with those sane and responsible gun owners, there is a group of people who legally own guns because they cant wait to shoot someone. Anyone who believes this guy was justified in his actions, the murder of an unarmed child, who posed no real threat, falls under the latter group, of upstanding, tax paying, gun owning, sociopaths. That 13 year old boy, who died with a couple of twinkies in his pocket, was a victim, period.

Veronica's Voice , who DO they speak for?

Every now and again I write something that I know will get me in trouble, and by trouble I mean I will offend some person or group of people. I never start out with that intention, okay maybe a few times I started out with that intention, but not this time, I swear. I have this over riding thing in me, that causes me to call booooooolshit, and I'm afraid it's kicked in to full offensive mode. Crime Scene KC linked this announcement regarding a local advocate group for hookers Veronica's Voice. Here's what got me going Veronica's Voice, a local nonprofit that works to end prostitution, will host its second annual Courage To Change walk at 4 p.m. Saturday at St. James Parish, 39th and Troost in Kansas City. Registration starts at 3:30, though that can be done online. Cost is $25 per person in advance, $30 that day. So I clicked over to their site, and here we go.

Veronica's Voice takes the position that Prostitution is pure exploitation, of innocent women and children, by men. The pimps, the Johns, Male Family members who abused the women in the first place, etc. Before I get going, let me state unequivocally the obvious , exploitation of a child is wrong, and should be dealt with by harsh punishment and swift legal action, that's a no brainer. While Veronica's Voice is to be commended for helping under age kids caught up in prostitution, I'll go out on a limb here, and say that underage prostitutes in this area make up a tiny portion of prostitutes. In the last couple of years, one case comes to mind that involved a couple of underage girls, one case. Here's the rub, the people at VV know that the mention of children , the implication that child prostitution is rampant in the city, will elicit a response, in other words it will pay off. Why, because most people dont get misty eyed over some round heeled adult woman who decided to leave her kids and sling her ass to pay for her dope habit.

The TRUTH is most street walkers in the city are well past their teens. The Truth is most call girls are also well past their teens. The truth is while pimps aren't non existent, they dont control the vast majority of hookers in this city. Most hookers in this city are hooked on crack, and you cant smoke crack and work a 9 to 5. You either have to steal, sell dope, or hook. It's no secret that I have a criminal history, and by history I mean I was out there in the part of the city that *L7's* , that's all of you honest, normal, decent folk, who fear or wisely choose not to tread in . So , I have known numerous women , not in the biblical sense, who freely chose to sling their ass for their own gain, of their own volition. I never judged them, still don't , but I do call shit like I see it. And as I see it, Veronica's Voice, the savior and protector of these allegedly abused and misused women of the night, is exploiting the very women they claim to be an advocate for.

Gee MM, you re being kind of harsh, cynical prick. Maybe I am, but let's look at a couple of things before we all jump on yours truly. Would you be more apt to donate money to an organization that helps people who are in fucked up situations due to their own choices, through their own decisions, or someone forced in to what is tantamount to slavery? Would you be more apt to help an organization that assists adult dope fiends or innocent children? No brainer , am I right. Listen, I'm all for someone getting off the streets, cleaning up and living right. I'm the last person in the world who would fault someone for turning it around. What I take exception with is being sold a bill of goods. Most of the women who walk the streets of Kansas City do so because they want to get high. They want to shirk their responsibilities as mothers, they want to chase that dope. It isn't because they are victims. VV likes to throw stats around, most hookers were abused sexually, so that makes them forever victims, gives them a pass. Well most child molesters were sexually abused as well, I dont hear many people suggesting that they should be considered victims.

Here is what got me started on this tirade over Veronica's Voice, they have a fee to participate in their "Courage To Change Walk", 30 bucks as a matter of fact. While I'm all for charitable acts, any time someone tells me I am required to pay a set price, that my charitable contribution must be x amount , then I get a little pissy about it. It's like public TV telling me "We want your help, but your help starts at 30 bucks." So in lieu of money I offer the following tip for turning those women of the night, or day around.
Stop giving them a pass because of their past. Millions of Men and Women have been abused as children, the vast majority of them never sell their services on a street corner or smoke crack.
If you keep telling someone that they are fucked up because of someone else, they will never get right. They will use it as a hole card, every time the fuck up, they will blame it on what transpired 20 or 30 years ago. And not for nothin, but Men aren't the root of all evil when it comes to prostitution. Creepy, yes, perverted, probably, pathetic, you bet, Johns are all of those things, but Johns wouldn't be buying if some woman wasn't selling.

At the end of the day, we all live with the choices we make. You can't preach, threaten or cajole someone in to not doing something they have set their minds to doing. Is it sad that there are women out there who have put a price on their dignity and self worth, yeah it's fucking tragic. And it's equally tragic when we see some wino passed out on a corner, or some kid throw their life away by committing a murder, or.... you get my drift, life is full of tragic stories, and when you really dig down and look at the core of the story, you will find that most people do what they do, because they want to. Think I'm being harsh? Next time you see a hooker on troost or the Avenue, ask her if she wants a job, a real job, waiting tables or whatever, then roll your window up before you get hit in the head with a round heeled shoe.

You can call me a cynic, a long winded one at that, but I've been around long enough to know when someone is slinging bullshit. I'm not saying that VV is a bad organization, I'm not saying they dont help women in bad situations. I am saying that they are using hype and hysteria to sell themselves. I am saying that asking somone to give their time and money is fine, telling them how much they are required to give is, well, it's .....pimpin.

**L7, street term for straight, honest , law abiding folks. Put an L and a 7 together and they make a square, L7****

I don't now if I should laugh or cry

From Crime Scene Kansas City

An Australian woman apparently died from this bizarre treatment for pancreatic cancer.
http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,23985327-5006301,00.html
The doctor claimed a 50 percent cure rate, the treatment , blowing ozone (air) in the woman's vagina, while the woman was instructed to bounce up and down while saying OH BOY over and over. Hey I'm not making this shit up. The story says numerous women have died from this same treatment. The sad and serious side of this story is obvious. Con man and all around scumbag gives false hope to women afflicted with one of the most incurable forms of cancer. They should stick an air hose up the guys ass until his head explodes.

That said, blowing air up a woman's Holiest of Holies is just plain bad etiquette. I once had a coughing fit while doing some Undercover Work, when I came up for air it sounded like a Mallard was doing a mating call under the comforter. I was a little taken aback , she was a little pissed, thinking I had done it on purpose. Mood killer, to be sure. Moral of this story, turn your head or cover your mouth, preferably with your own hand.

Some days you just draw a blank. This is one of them.

I got nothing. So you get a few random pictures I've taken while wondering / working in our fair city. I also came up with an idea for a new weekly installment that I am going to start doing called "Where is M M ?", or something along those lines. I'm still mulling over the exact details but the premise goes like this. Since I drive all over the metro on a daily basis, I thought it might be educational for some of you if I took a shot of some random landmark, object, etc, and let the readers see if they can guess where I am. I may be in the shot if I can find a group of Asian tourists to snap the pic, or a wino depending on the area. If you are lucky, I wont be in the picture. For the readers who are not from the Kansas City area, Where's MM will be proof that Kansas city isn't the Podunk backward town some believe it to be, or it will confirm that it is. Either way, it should be a real hoot. So keep your eye out for, Where's M M ?. In the meantime here are a couple of test pictures, any guesses where the mural photo was taken?

Giant penis screws up graduation ceremony.

I found this photo on Crime Scene Kansas City. The offending member is a 19 year old man who thought it would be funny. He was right, it was. As you can see the guy had the balls to run on stage, while spraying the audience with Silly String. Unfortunately the cops didn't care for the guy being a prick and dicking around on the stage. Could have been worse, he could have shot everyone with a super soaker full of Tapioca. He got a ticket, he should get an award.

It's Fast Eddie Felson Friday......Huh ?

Yes I know it's only Thursday, but I had my days mixed up, so just humor me and pretend its Friday.

First here is a quote from fast Eddie, played by Paul Newman in one of the greatest movies ever made. " How should I play that one, Bert? Play it safe? That's the way you always told me to play it: safe... play the percentage. Well, here we go: fast and loose."

Two reasons I chose that line and theme for what may become my Friday mainstay post. First of all I love that scene in the movie, and it's a way to incorporate it in to my blog. The second reason is the last line of the quote, Here we go, fast and loose. My plan is to give a quick string of short comments on various subjects. A shoot from the hip and possible foot in mouth fashion of writing. Not much different from my daily writing, just shorter and a variety of subjects.

So here we go Fast and Lose.

The mayor and city council just gave themselves 4 percent raises. Not a big deal, except the city is in an ever tightening budget crunch, we don't have enough money to hire more cops, fix our roads , and several hundred city jobs were just cut. On the bright side the mayor and city council finally agree on something.

These young morons are lobbying to get the right to carry concealed handguns on college campuses. Great fucking idea! This from the same age and demographic group that think binge drinking, hazing, date rape, falling off of balconies during spring break, and exclusive discriminatory fraternities are all acceptable behavior. Im no rocket scientist, but the guns used in the last two or more campus shootings were committed with, legally obtained guns. Maybe the age limit to buy a pistol should be raised to 25. That way most shootings would be relegated to criminal acts in the poor sections of towns throughout the nation. Trust me, if these crazy college shooters couldn't have purchased pistols legally, they wouldn't have had a clue how or where to get an illegal one.

Apparently in the matter of house broken dogs who have just had a litter of puppies, all bets are off. I stepped in a puddle of piss the size of Lake Shasta this morning. On the bright side it was in the bathroom and not on the carpet. Here is the culprit and her newly arrived offspring. I want my closet back already.

And finally the Pope has denounced pedophiles and says they wont be allowed to be members of the priesthood. So how is he going to insure this bold statement is a reality. A cub scout on a string, drag it past a priest, like a fake mouse past a cat? I think they will just do a better job of covering it up. But it does give me the opportunity to post one of my favorite jokes. Catholics should stop reading now, or risk being offended.

A Catholic Goes to Confession

In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back."
Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I have truly sinned, I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."
Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the father give for oral sex?"
The altar boy said, "a Snickers bar and a Coke."

And on that tasteless note, I hope everyone has a great weekend.