People who stayed behind in Texas could learn a thing or two from Tina Turner.

She was smart enough to flee Ike when shit got heavy. Had Tina continued to put herself in harms way, knowing Ike was going to beat her ass, we wouldn't have had much sympathy for her would we? Let me be really clear here, hurricane Ike was no joke, and it walked a mud hole along Texas gulf coast. People were warned, threatened, pleaded with, cajoled, to leave, scram, get the fuck out while you still can. Like Davey Crockett at the Alamo facing down that Santa Claus guy , a couple hundred thousand people defied all warnings, they stayed. Before Ike had planted his boot completely up the ass of Galveston, comes this headline, "Those who stayed plead for rescue in Galveston, Texas as Hurricane Ike storms ashore". If it were up to me, we would air drop everyone who stayed a set of water wings and a pool toy. Fortunately it's not up to me. So we are spending untold money and manpower, at great risk to those who are rescuing these retards who freely chose to ride it out. I'm sorry but the only way these people will find sympathy is in the dictionary between Sailboat and Syphilis, one they could use, the other may explain the insanity of staying behind, then crying for help.

Of course everyone and their mother want to compare Ike to Katrina, even Texas Governor Perry, who made a plea that Texas get the same treatment as New Orleans did during Katrina. Apparently Governor Perry didn't catch much news during Katrina, if Texas gets the same treatment as Katrina survivors, they are gonna be up shit creek sans paddle and boat.. While Ike was certainly devastating, comparing it to Katrina is like comparing Marlon Brando with the guy who plays Ronald McDonald in commercials. They are both actors, but that's as far as it goes. First of all Fema was on Ike like stink on a fat guy in a sauna. People couldn't get out of New Orleans, because a good number of them were poor as dirt. Buses sat in lots outside New Orleans, while Mayor Nagin, the Louisiana Governor and the Feds played the blame game, leaving people to fend for themselves.

RDM raises the question of whether folks should be charged criminally, or billed for rescue efforts, of course they should, but fat chance it will happen. What will happen, what is happening now as we speak, we go in and pull these idiots out of water they had no business being in. And Bush will rain money down on Texas like manna from heaven. To the good people of Texas, who took heed and left before Ike hit, I wish you Godspeed. To the folks who build multimillion dollar beachfront homes, smack in the middle of hurricane central, and will soon be applying for disaster relief to rebuild , good luck with that, and welcome to the government tit. To the 200,000 or so idiots , who stayed, in spite of repeated warnings, a special thanks for slowing progress and draining precious resources through your selfish , idiotic, stubborn act. They say everything is big in Texas, I guess that includes morons as well.

Fast Eddie Felson Friday

Cosmo Kramer of Seinfeld fame had his coffee table book that also doubled as a coffee table. Now senator Larry Craig will write the perfect book for bathroom reading. Craig will touch on many subjects (heh) including the now infamous game of footsie he played in an airport men's room with an undercover cop. Apparently the whole incident has left Craig with a bad taste in his mouth. (double heh)

A Texas court has ruled that authorities did not have sufficient reason to remove the children from the whack job polygamist compound and concubine training center better known as the Yearning for Zion Ranch. Granted the case had some questionable elements to it. The original caller turned out to be a hoax, albeit a well intentioned one. And some of the women turned out to be of a consensual age. That said, there were underage girls who were pregnant. There is well documented proof that these underage girls were being married off to older men. So do you protect the pseudo religious freedom of a group of pedophiles or the human rights of under age children. We have our answer, since the court has ordered the kids returned to the very people who were pimping them out. In related news FLDS has changed the name of the compound to Yearning for Pre Pubescent Girls in Under Roos Ranch.

Local blogger RDM has a great post about a Green Beret who died by electrocution in a shower in IRAQ. He also posts some photos and personal insight on his tour of duty. Give it a read.

That's it for this week. Everyone have a good un, and I'll see you back here on Monday.

It's Fast Eddie Felson Friday......Huh ?

Yes I know it's only Thursday, but I had my days mixed up, so just humor me and pretend its Friday.

First here is a quote from fast Eddie, played by Paul Newman in one of the greatest movies ever made. " How should I play that one, Bert? Play it safe? That's the way you always told me to play it: safe... play the percentage. Well, here we go: fast and loose."

Two reasons I chose that line and theme for what may become my Friday mainstay post. First of all I love that scene in the movie, and it's a way to incorporate it in to my blog. The second reason is the last line of the quote, Here we go, fast and loose. My plan is to give a quick string of short comments on various subjects. A shoot from the hip and possible foot in mouth fashion of writing. Not much different from my daily writing, just shorter and a variety of subjects.

So here we go Fast and Lose.

The mayor and city council just gave themselves 4 percent raises. Not a big deal, except the city is in an ever tightening budget crunch, we don't have enough money to hire more cops, fix our roads , and several hundred city jobs were just cut. On the bright side the mayor and city council finally agree on something.

These young morons are lobbying to get the right to carry concealed handguns on college campuses. Great fucking idea! This from the same age and demographic group that think binge drinking, hazing, date rape, falling off of balconies during spring break, and exclusive discriminatory fraternities are all acceptable behavior. Im no rocket scientist, but the guns used in the last two or more campus shootings were committed with, legally obtained guns. Maybe the age limit to buy a pistol should be raised to 25. That way most shootings would be relegated to criminal acts in the poor sections of towns throughout the nation. Trust me, if these crazy college shooters couldn't have purchased pistols legally, they wouldn't have had a clue how or where to get an illegal one.

Apparently in the matter of house broken dogs who have just had a litter of puppies, all bets are off. I stepped in a puddle of piss the size of Lake Shasta this morning. On the bright side it was in the bathroom and not on the carpet. Here is the culprit and her newly arrived offspring. I want my closet back already.

And finally the Pope has denounced pedophiles and says they wont be allowed to be members of the priesthood. So how is he going to insure this bold statement is a reality. A cub scout on a string, drag it past a priest, like a fake mouse past a cat? I think they will just do a better job of covering it up. But it does give me the opportunity to post one of my favorite jokes. Catholics should stop reading now, or risk being offended.

A Catholic Goes to Confession

In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back."
Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I have truly sinned, I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."
Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the father give for oral sex?"
The altar boy said, "a Snickers bar and a Coke."

And on that tasteless note, I hope everyone has a great weekend.