Final thoughts on Uncle Ed Muscare aka edarem...

A couple of days ago I posted a video and link to former Kansas City children’s show/ late night thriller host Ed Muscare's YouTube page. Fark picked it up, as did another site that I can't recall off the top of my head. Hits to my site tripled, Muscare's comment section blew up. More than a few of the comments were pretty harsh. I've found myself with some conflicting feelings as have some of you. On the one hand he seems like a lonely, slightly crazy old man, on the other hand he was convicted of sexual battery on a 14 year old boy. People were arguing on Ed's behalf, saying that he served his time, paid his debt. Sounds good at first, but I don't think they understand the enormity of his debt. His debt can never be paid in full. Anyone who uses a child for their own twisted gratification, regardless of how much time has transpired, will always be indebted to the victim, there is no final balance which can be paid in full. No absolution of sins, no pardon, no making things right, that’s just not how it works, at least not in my eyes, or the eyes of any child who was ever victimized. You can get counseling, find a god, work with lepers, doesn't matter, you won't have even paid a point on the intrest.

I wrote about my own childhood experience here and here. While it took place over 40 years ago, it's as fresh in my mind now, and in some ways even clearer, more vivid, than ever. I was about 8 or so. When an adult, not always but usually, a man, molests a child, they rob the child of their innocence, the ability to trust, to be whole. It is a horrific crime that will have a negative impact through out the remainder of the victims life. The wounds never fully heal. What restitution can be exacted to make up for such an egregious crime? If you have already read, or take the time to read my earlier posts, pt 1 & pt 2, then you know how far I almost went to exact a fair settling of accounts. I came within a hairs breadth of punching the old guys ticket, but in the end his death wouldn’t have changed anything for the better. Nothing can ever settle that score. Not prison, money, or a life. What’s done is done, and it never really leaves you.

So I can't agree with the people who say that Ed Muscare paid his debt, he didn't, and he never can. Maybe it was a one time thing for him, but that’s rarely the case. Maybe he regrets what he did, wishes he could undo it, but he can't. Maybe when he passes by children who are at play, he casts his eyes downward, or maybe he licks his chops, either way it doesn't matter, it doesn't change the past. At the end of the day, I don't care if he is lonely, growing old, nearing death, a crazy old uncle who garners sympathy and touches peoples sentimental souls. In a world shaded with a vast array of grays, this is an instance of black and white. It's as clear cut and certain as anything can ever be. So while a small voice whispers to me, tells me I should feel sympathy, should pity this old man, a louder voice drowns it out. That voice says "fuck him and anyone like him". He should never expect happiness, should never hope to outrun his past. It should stay with him to the grave, as it will his victim. I tend to go with the louder voice, so fuck him, and anyone like him.