Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Never over stay your welcome


People stay in failed marriages long after they realize its time to get out. They go through the motions, make a half ass effort, running on autopilot. They do it for the kids, for financial reasons, or because they don't want to piss away years of emotional investment without giving it one last shot. There are a litany of excuses or reasons for clinging to a thing that is no longer what it was, and most of those reasons are bullshit. In the end, the most common reason for hanging on, is pride, stubbornness, and a fear of change. That's the truth more often than not, but the truth doesn't sound nearly as noble. Self sacrifice sounds much better than self serving.


This blog in many ways is like a marriage gone sour. Over the course of the last six months, Ive come within a mouse click of calling it quits. I took a few breaks, a few days here, a couple of weeks there, but I wasn't prepared to hang it up. I don't want to become the Bret farve of blogging. I'm in, I'm out, I'm done, I'm back. I can't abide people who are wishy washy, and I sure as hell wont tolerate it in myself. So Ive waited, just to be sure. Now I am.


My best writing, where I really shine, is writing about my past. The criminal years, the characters I've known. I think I did it well, and I did it as honestly and as bullshit free as possible. Once I had covered my history I moved on to Urban Blight. I covered the blighted areas of this city better than any of the professional journalists in KC ever could. I hate to toot my own horn, but, TOOT TOOT. I found my niche, unfortunately it is short lived, Ive done it, and all I can hope for now is to become repetitive and boring. Fuck that.


There are countless people who do commentary and opinion better than I do. My opinions were formed in prisons, on the streets and in back alleys. I'm never going to see the world through the same field of vision as most people. Ive tried my hand at it, and I was okay, but not really great. I think Ive reached a point where Ive become a parody of my original intent. Fuck that as well.


I started doing this thing because I had some shit to say, I had some stories to tell. I feel like Ive said everything worth saying, and I've run out of stories. So I'm done, at least in this format. I plan to continue writing, maybe try my hand at a book, maybe even post it on line. I may blog again, but it wont be anytime soon, and it will be on a new page, and it wont be as personal or in the same tone as Midtown Miscreant. Like that first love gone sour, I wont revisit or try to rebuild it. I don't think I could do it as well so why bother? In the end I think I accomplished what I set out to do. Thanks for taking the time to read me, and for being open minded enough to listen, even when we disagreed. I'll still be lurking around, reading the same blogs I've always read, and offering up the occasional wise ass remarks. As you can see from my smiling mug in the photo above; you are all number one in my book. So long.
M M
Mark Smith

58 comments:

  1. Be well, sir. And thank you for putting your voice out there.

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  2. Thanks for the stories Mark. I'll keep an eye out for any new writings you may put online...

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  3. I was always looking forward to this stuff, but I've been feeling the same thing for a while now, I even have my last post made up in my head. You have my email, look me up for lunch some day.

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  4. All good things must come to an end eventually. MM, you did the right thing by ending while you were on top of your game. That's something to be respected. Your blog will be missed, but it will also be well remembered.

    I look forward to anything else you write.

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  5. Thanks for your time and words. I really enjoyed your p.o.v. Best of luck. we miss you in midtown

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  6. What a drag. You will be missed, best of luck!

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  7. Don't do it man. I think you'll regret it.

    We need well written, unique perspectives, and you've got both in spades.

    Of course, you could always come over to the Dark Side and take up twittering. You know you want to. All the cool kids are doing it.

    You've got my email. Don't be a stranger.

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  8. But, but I've just become a fan! I haven't read all your shit ... I guess I will have to peruse old posts or wait for the book ... Will you leave the site up? How long? Bye, MM.

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  9. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    Reading your posts were one of the highlights of my day. (Shows how much my life sucks!)

    Stay real MM!

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  10. Well, that's a damn shame, but you have to do what you have to do...I'll miss your writing. I hope you change your mind, but if you don't let us at least know what new writing you have on your horizons!

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  11. Your honesty will be missed.

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  12. I am so sad! ...and my husband will be unconsolable.

    I feel your pain. It is struggle and some days you wonder why.

    You have made me cry and then turn around and laugh out loud.

    We'll miss you so much

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  13. Your stories would indeed make a great book. I've really enjoyed reading your stuff and wish you well in the real world.

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  14. Some of the best writing I have ever read. I will miss it.

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  15. I'll miss you, but it's your decision.

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  16. Well, this is a shame, but I'm sure you gave it great thought. I think we've all wanted to throw in the towel every so often. I think you'll miss it and hope you start another blog soon.

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  17. Another victim of the economic downturn. MS, I feel you all the way. We've emailed back/forth on this issue. I'll probably hang it up soon. After I get around to typing up one of these long "see ya" posts.

    Keep in touch man. You kept it real.

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  18. Well, damn.

    See you at the book signing.

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  19. Just a poor excuse for an attention whore. Who gives a fuck?

    Good riddance scumbag, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

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  20. I was telling my son about your blog, and now you're quitting, I've enjoyed your stories, take care

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  21. Oh well another RSO living in the darkness. Fuck you MM. Attention whores never make it. Point in case. YOU. No loss.

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  22. well ,as if my day wasent shitty enough,now i read this!!.ill read anything you write MM..im gonna miss ya

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  23. Hey I follow your blog and only two others. I really liked your writing style, although it seems to have gone from jaded to sour recently. So I can understand you backing off. We all need to find some joy in life and that sometimes means a new direction. Anyway, it is difficult to step away from what you have built. I congratulate you on a finely crafted blog, incisive writing, authentic emotion, and the strength to walk away.

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  24. I'm never going to see the world through the same field of vision as most people.And that's what makes your stuff so fun and valuable to read.

    You will be missed, sir. I get the need to call it quits, but if you do come back you'll always have an audience.

    Good luck in all your endeavors.

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  25. Hey, I was just getting to be a serious fan. You've inspired me, made me take a humorous look at the characters around me in my adopted city. Maybe I'll have my own blog one day. I've never been to prison, only the county jail a couple of times, but I've lived a long and adventurous life, so I really got what you were saying, you made me laugh & cry. Be well.

    Love, Rosie

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  26. Dude, take care. You're number one with me, too, but I don't have the picture to show it. Ciao!

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  27. There's always stuff to write about through your lens, which always makes it unique.

    You should take a few more walks down memory lane, think about what you left out, things you didn't write about, situations you wrote about that may have been more complex than you think, maybe you left things out.

    The combinations of new and old and twists in between are endless.

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  28. Nice turnout. For one of Kansas City's best blogs.

    Here's hoping you change your mind.

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  29. You're really a good writer, writing about areas of life that other writers can't or don't want to examine. It's too bad you don't want to keep chronicling your very interesting and needed thoughts for the public. Your voice is needed.

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  30. And I was really starting to enjoy your take on Independence. I recently left the city behind to shack up with my gal pal in Eastern Jack. So far, your experiences have been similar to mine. Maybe I'll pick up where you left off.

    Good luck, MM.

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  31. I'll miss your excellent and thoughtful writing. Please keep us posted should that forthcoming book surface online somewhere in the future.
    Take care.

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  32. Best of luck to you, and take care of yourself outside the friendly confines of Midtown.

    You're a very skilled writer and I will miss reading your work.

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  33. Well snap! For an ex con, you weren't a bad dude. I'll miss ya, dude.

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  34. I am going to miss your blog, I check it daily! Good luck with your future endeavors.

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  35. Thanks for all the interesting stuff MM. I'll really miss reading your posts.



    Quitter.

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  36. Noooo!!!!

    This is the bullshit of all bullshits!!

    (Here's hoping you come across something so heinous in Independence that it will leave you no choice but to come back and write about it.)

    :(

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  37. Awwwww.

    Poowah poowah mis-qwee-ant.

    Widdle man mis-qwee-ant iz scay-awd he might not be able to write.

    I think you've shacked up with one or more of your pickle-juggling pals and have a little "more on your mind", in a manner of speaking.

    Eck.

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  38. I am very sad to see you go! Like others have said, reading your blog is the highlight of my day! Most nights before I go to bed, I pull up this blog for a nice end to my day. Guess my routine will change now :(. Good luck to you, have fun in Independence! I look forward to reading some of your work again some day!!

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  39. who gives a fuck? Are you trying to get your suckass bloggers to get you to spew your shit again? Not in this town. Just go away.

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  40. u obviously give a fuck... y else would you be reading his blog and knowing that he is done? people like reading his stuff what the hell is wrong with that, guess maybe ur a little jealous? people just dont like u huh? sorry that must be hard!

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  41. Some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints. I'll miss reading your stories.
    .
    .
    .
    funny, the verification word for me to post this is "words ho"

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  42. Just catching up with this today...man, I'm gonna miss ya! Make sure to give us all a heads up when you return elsewhere, ok? Best of luck to ya, MM. :)

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  43. Mark,

    I enjoyed it while it lasted. Good luck with whatever comes next.

    Nick

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  44. hey mark im really gonna miss reading your shit,eventhough you called me a dickwad once.....its cool though. later dude

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  45. Midtown,

    I am going to miss this wonderfully complex house of yours, you've built something quite eclectic and special in your corner of the internet.

    You've offered a uniquely strong voice on issues rarely covered well, and you did it with a keen eye and brutal honesty. And empathy, I can't leave that out - you're as kind at heart as you are tough in passing judgement.

    You write like the raw wind, never holding a single thing back - I always see it when you write it, sometimes I feel it, too. I've had to walk away from the screen a few times, you've brushed up so close to my experiences and touched that place where I still live on my bad days.

    I hope you do pursue your writing, you've got talent in spades, good man. Please keep in touch. I'd love to know if you're publishing anywhere or starting a new site.

    Best wishes to you, I hope the future treats you well.

    Daphne

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  46. Good bye asshole.

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  47. wtf is this shit?

    Independence has ruined you!!!!!!

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  48. [... an official end to his nearly 2 year old personal blog, Midtown Miscreant, Tuesday, May 12th, 2009...]

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  49. Hey MM,

    Keep writing, you have a talent that not many can claim. I've enjoyed your blog for the last six months or so, and I find it both funny and sad. You found your voice and that made your writing yours.

    I've made a decent living as a writer for the last two decades or so, and I know how it can become frustrating when you don't feel as if you are contributing anything that is original. Yet it will come back.

    Good luck on your future, but make sure you keep writing, it drives the demons away (at least for awhile...)

    Mikey

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  50. i'am not from dog patch but i married someone who is born and raised here and now i live here and have for 15 years, dog patch is not what it used to be by any means!!and any nieghborhood that you go too where both parents have to work always leave's someone to run their mouth about somthing they do not know anything about!!!it's like asshole's everyone has one but it's your choice to show it or not,and you sir clearly showed yours by running your mouth about somthing you do not know cause you've never lived here! you mearly went by rumors and hear say talk, in the future before you assume anything or indulge in high school "he said, she said" crap be a true journalist and do your work first, don't judge if you can not walk in someone else's shoe's!!!!

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  51. To all of the Anonymous Ones: Even bad publicity is still publicity. Keep talking.

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  52. dangerousdaisyMonday, June 01, 2009

    You know what? This really, really, really blows, Mark. I just got to reading this fairly regularly and you give this little bomb. I didn't comment originally because I thought you were full of shit about quitting.

    The Greg Beck phenomenon. I have read every post on his sight. Yeah, I found his sight a YEAR AFTER HE DIED. Not much sucks more than to find a competent, engaging, twisted writer who doesn't write anymore, for some reason or other. You're just being selfish.

    I'm pissed at you.

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  53. MM,

    Like the commenter above, I stumbled into the party right as you were ringing last call. I'm not gonna fault you for hanging it up, though. Judging from the mud and the blood and the beer, you threw one hell of a party.

    I'm going to go so far as to say that you beat the hell out of any "city beat" columnist I've ever read. It's not just anyone who can draw pathos from a confrontation between a small dog and a crack whore. Hell, it's not just anyone who has witnessed a confrontation between a small dog and crack whore.

    Here's hoping that you find a way to get wildly rich from writing, which will, of course, allow you to really screw up your life, which would, in turn, make a great story!

    Saving that, I hope you find a way to make writing pay you a decent wage. Your better than most.

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  54. I miss your blog. I keep checking to see if you've changed your mind and put up a new post :)

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  55. Sorry I'm late. Will miss the hell out of you MM. You brighten my sometime weary days. Good luck!!!!!

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