Alonzo Washington thinks Child Molestation is Funny

How's that for an attention grabber? Alonzo wants attention, I guess shit is slow in the Crime Fightin, tragedy pimpin biz, so he is fishing for hits. I normally steer clear of Alonzo's My Space page for a multitude of reasons. His writing is comparable to that of an eight year old dyslexic, in the middle of a grand mal siezure. My eyes hurt just trying to wade through his butchering of the English language. I'm no Charles Dickens myself, but I do understand the rule that you use A before words that start with a consonant sound, and AN before words that start with a vowel sound. His page also makes my computer bog down, must be all the flash greetings from the ghetto-tastic hood rats who send him sparkly roses, much love and shout outs in booty shorts. So I avoid Alonzo's My Space page like a hemophiliac avoids razor blades. Were it not for the widget on TKC, I would be blissfully oblivious to Alonzo's special ed musings. He took some shots at me over the Fox 4 interview, I let it slide. He mocked child abuse victims, I let it pass. he called me a coward. I let it alone. I figured gas prices are kind of high and he couldn't scrape up a few bucks to gas up his Smegma scooter, or Smegma mobile, so he decided to suck up a few hits through a blog war. I suppose he is still stinging from being taken to task by me, over vicious comments he made about a young murder victim. He even called the dead kids family liars. Classy.

Well, Smegma Man is at it again. I know, I know, his lame character is called Omega Man, but Smegma Man seems more fitting, plus he will have to look it up. Let's face it, Alonzo needs all the Cyferin Lessuns he can get. The offending post was classic Alonzo, here is AN excerpt,

"Anyway,the old school criminal blogger is a good person to talk to these guys. He was touched by a old man as a kid & was most likely done the same way while he was locked up. I pretty sure he was a prison ho because he appears to be a weakling with no heart to me. He is a coward like these new crooks because when he did a blog about a freak named Uncle Ed fear entered his heart after he got some threats. Plus, he is a loser who could never get any attention on without a blog. In the real world he is just a old, fat & ugly Ex-con". Classy huh? And he wonders why the local media shuns him more often than not. Why would anyone talk to some clown who makes jokes about a child being molested? Short answer, they wouldn't, and they don't. Alonzo is guilty of the same crime the feds popped me for, "Uttering as Genuine". I can sit up here all day, claim that I'm getting tips, swear I solved crimes, but that doesn't make it true. the truth is Alonzo doesn't get credit, because he rarely deserves it. He turned in a tip for the Precious doe case. That's a good thing, I give him props for doing it, regardless of his motivation. Beyond that, this guy has done nothing more than make baseless, unsubstantiated claims. He may have some people hoodwinked, but as a former slinger of bullshit, I recognize it when I see it. The reason Alonzo isn't of the same stature of say Alvin Brooks, is because he only cares about Alonzo. He calls the greatest advocate for the black community, a Tom. It's little wonder he is reduced to picking fights with bloggers he claims are nobody. When you resort to playing the dozens from your my space page, you are a failure at being the big time activist you claim to be.

Dayummmmmmmm, ouch! For a guy who is constantly going on, and on, and on, about how he is a Man of Gawd, just fightin the good fight, he sure doesn't have much compassion for victims of child abuse. To be fair, he probably doesn't grasp that making light of Child Molestation, regardless of the victim, is tantamount to ridiculing ALL VICTIMS, Alonzo isn't exactly an abstract thinker. And what's up with all the tough guy talk? I think those tight ass, funny style, wife beaters he wears are cutting off the blood flow to his brain. Or maybe the pound of hair grease he uses to plaster over his thinning wig, which rests atop his disproportionally large and bulbous head, have leeched toxic petrochemical products into his sub standard gray matter. Whatever the case may be, Smegma Man clearly hasn't progressed past the age of 16, which explains why he insists on calling me old, even though we are only 8 years apart in age.

So I'm faced with a conundrum here. Do I ignore Harold Penners biggest customer? Been there done that, didn't work. Do I take the easy cheap shots? Let's face it, the guy has no job, and more kids than a Mormon, so he must just live off his wife's earnings, and maybe some, ahem, Public assistance. In the world of insecure machismo that Washington resides in, living off a woman is kind of like pimpin. Then again, maybe he is making major cheddar from those comic book sales, or his action figure, a spray painted dollar store toy. Now I don't know that for a fact, but facts never got in Washington's way, so what's good for the goose. I could pull a couple hundred, quotes from his My Space page, truth be told the guy is his own worst enemy.

But cheap shots are a dime a dozen, and Washington has already been picked apart countless times. The problem is, he was just to dull witted to realize when he had his ass handed to him. I have wracked my brain trying to find a solution to this ongoing ankle biting campaign that Alonzo just won't let go. I think he is lonely, and jealous. His my space, heh heh, blog posts don't get comments very often. he thinks he gets mad hits, but fails to realize that the 1200 times a day he clicks on his own blog are all the hits he is getting. But I'm a nice guy so I'll let Alonzo ride my jock and send him some traffic. When you are a two bit attention whore, lack of attention is like a silver bullet. So show Alonzo some love, send him a glittering My Space rose or leave a comment on his "Blog".

I was going to challenge Smegma Man to AN Indian leg wrasslin match atop city hall, but he would have taken it seriously, and I don't want him taking that huge magic marker head up there. The wind might catch it and propel him like a hot air balloon. God only knows where he would end up. He might land in some third world country, where the locals might confuse him for a large wobble headed monster, and smote him with sticks and rocks. Besides, I'm not sure he can Leg Wrassle in those tight ass clothes he wears. So if you are feeling charitable, send a shout out to Alonzo, I think he is lonely in My Space land. Holla atcha boy , Alonzo!!!! Oh, and if you want to keep shit formal his middle name is Lanert, with a name like that it's no wonder he has more self esteem issues than an Old fat criminal blogger. Now I'll sit back and wait for his response, which will be a real hoot. In fact, let me save Alonzo his paltry dozen or so brain cells by offering up his response.

check this

a local criminal blogger is mad because I ....blah blah blah. He is old an fat....blah blah...i smell fear...blaH BLAH. i have many haters. they dont like that i am a angry proud black man, who be's fighting the good fight. i write this blog in my sleep. i right like I am 4 because it a method i use. i have a comic book and a car an a scotter two. That is why my haters be hating on me. there womans want me. When this blogger attacked me he was being rasisit. this criminal blogger is a nobody who will die soon bcause he is a old fat guy. i dont no why I has so many haters. I just trying to get tips and fight the goo fight. Blah, blah, and blah. This criminal says he was molested as an child. that is funny. he must be afraid of me. i am jus a man of god. i will knock him out. i has a ms pacman machine god blessed me.

Love Peace and hair grease

Alonzo Lanert Washington.

Alonzo Washington responds.

I want to be fair and balanced about my piece on Alonzo Washington. Here is his response, actually about the third attempt at a response. I hate to get in an Internet pissing match, so this will be the last post on Alonzo (what would jesus do) Washington. I really don't know why he has his under roos in such a bunch, the bulk of my post was excerpts from his "crime fightin blog", in his own words.
KC,
Realize why this blogger attacked me. I am every this he wants to be. I am cool. He is a nerd. I am in shape. He is not. Women dig me. Women don't dig him. I am handsome. He is ugly. Thousands of people read my blog (I don't know why). only a few hundred reads his. I make a difference in the community & he does not. It makes him feel like a nobody to see me. You see, if I was such a joke to this nobody he would not care what I said about a homicide victim's family. However, he knows my thoughts matter & his does not. He could write a millions blogs about me and when I go out on the streets people would still treat me like a star. The media will stil cover me & I will still solve more crimes. I help everyday. This @sshole reads my blog and wishes he could be like me. Hey Mark, I think you are gay. Why would any straight man be so concerned with another man like you are with me? So, keep reading my blog and know you will die a ugly old White guy who has never done after as great as I have! You can't. You the next big thing in your life is your death. The only thing that could ever make your blog hot is for you to write about me.
Peace,
Alonzo Washington

I almost had begun to feel a little bad about ripping the guy a new one, not really. So he calls me Old, Ugly, and Gay. I guess I'm lucky he can't flip an E booger at me. This is the guy people think is a good person . I assumed he would come back at me, over my criminal past, which might have been a good rebuttal. Instead he resorts to third grade homophobic name calling. Nice job Alonzo, I rest my case.

You say crime fighter, I say hate monger.

Alonzo Washington's claim to fame is turning a tip in to police that solved the Precious Doe case, if his story ended there, I'd be singing his praises. But Alonzo Washington is a bitter guy, and much like an angry petulant child, he has lashed out at a whole lot of people who neither warranted it, or asked for it. This is a direct excerpt from the archives of his blog on My Space;


"The victim's family is mad at me because I refuse to believe that this kid jumped in front of bullets for a homeless man. It is no proof of that. I guess they are upset that I have been rewarded with a car and that a local business donated a scooter to my anti-crime program. I get so many tips in this community and help so many people I should get more than that. I just laugh at these people. They would not be concerned about crime in this city is their love one was not killed. I don't ever think these type of people would like what I do. I solved the murder case of Jeffery Dunham who was White and many people in his family was too racist to thank me. This is a racist city." The victim was a young man named Chris Bartholomew, he was gunned done in the Westport area. While his family was grieving over the loss of Chris, Alonzo was busy heaping a little more grief in their already heaping bowl, classy, no? Apparently crime fighting class didn't include tedious shit like, having a little compassion for someone who has lost their child, or brother, or friend.



So Why should I care, you could even argue that I'm being a bit of hypocrite, since I don't run around the area thrusting myself into police investigations, and cheesing for the cameras at every opportunity. Mr. Washington told me I should get a life and write about him after I've solved some crimes. I posted a comment on his my space page to let him know I'd be writing about him, because I don't like to snipe at someone from the shadows, I like to be up front.


Here are a few excerpts from Alonzo's blog.


On V.P. runner Palin, whom I'm no fan of either, " I keep hearing that the Gov. that wanted to be the Vice Prez. was a big racist! I am glad she did not get the position. America already has enough hate in it."

On Joe the Plumber, who I believe to be a major douche in his own right " There are still many White people who would rather suffer than vote for a Black man. Joe the plumber might be a skin head and many others might think like him"

When an employee for the retailer Journeys printed a racist word on a receipt Alonzo said this in a letter to Journeys headquarters;"Make a donation to a effort designed to improve the urban core that is owned by African Americans. I would suggest that your company support a anti-crime effort in our city." Gee, I wonder where they might find an "anti-crime" effort willing to take some cha-ching?

When a store clerk shot and killed a young robber at Tony's market, Alonzo said it was fishy, that the kid was just buying cigarettes, even though he was laying in the parking lot next to his pistol. Washington went on to complain that Tony's never gave him a dime for his crime efforts. See a pattern here?


On the TIPs hot line and a news reporter he had this to say, "The Tips Hot line told someone I was trying to collect on a tip which is a damn lie. Then the new Ch. 4 blonde reporter in town and her chubby camera woman told one of my tipsters that I wanted their money for a tip. "


On the alleged perp of a recent homicide Alonzo offered up this telling tidbit " This killer had a cuttie buddy know he will have a nuttie boody because guys do guys while on lock down. YYYYUUUCCKKK!!!"

Look, I could go on all day here, but whats the point. Alonzo Washington is a guy who has thrust himself in the spotlight, both locally and nationally. He calls himself a community activist, he is a self made public figure, and as such is open to criticism. Doing some good things doesn't give you license to go unchecked when you are wrong. The problem is, that Alonzo pulls the race card on anyone who doesn't agree with him or kowtow to his demands. That's all well and fine, if we are talking about the media, public officials or an over opinionated surly blogger, but going after the families of crime victims, is a low blow, it's dead wrong. Slandering a business, because they don't give you money, well that's called a shake down, it's borderline black mail. Washington has lambasted and maligned other community activists and groups. Aim for Peace, is but one of the citizen based groups who Alonzo has criticized, Alvin Brooks, a pillar of the community is another. In fact anyone who attempts to organize people to speak out about crime, gets ripped by Washington. It always comes down to the same things with Alonzo, credit, race, and money.


Alonzo has a fan base, no doubt I'll hear from them, and to them I say in advance, if you can read the stuff this guy is spitting up, and you don't find it offensive, racist, sexist, and homophobic, then you need to take another read. If you still think he is the greatest thing since sliced bread, then more power to you. Let me just say this, if any other activist, or just plain citizen, had said the same things , we would be calling for his head, and it would be a good call. Yet Alonzo Washington, isn't held to the same standard as everyone else. People lap up his bullshit like cats to cream, and the media puts him in front of the camera totally oblivious or ignorant to this clowns true beliefs. If I spend my day helping old ladies cross the street, then spend my evening tripping blind kids, do I get a pass? Should I not be called on the bad shit, just because I do some good things?


Look, I'm not saying the guy hasn't done some good in this community, he has, but somewhere along the line, he got bitter, the free car, the major media, the accolades and recognition weren't enough. It became about besting the other guy, it turned in to a competition, it came down to getting paid. I don't need to run out in leotards and superman underwear solving crime and posing for pictures, to share my opinion about Alonzo, contrary to what he may think. I'm not going to change the world by sharing my opinions on a blog that reaches a few hundred people on a decent day, any more than Alonzo Washington is going to solve the problems of this city from his moped, while running around doing cheesy photos wearing shades and that ridiculous blue tooth headset. It bothers me when I see a guy take his resentment out on innocent people, I can't stand a bully. When I posted the comment on his blog, Washington told me it was satire. I ain't laughin, and I imagine the people who have seen Alonzo's ugly side first hand, don't find his shtick to funny either.

let's have a National Holiday for Pres Elect Obama ! Oh, Momma.

It was only a matter of time. People are caught up in the excitement of the first black president, and the unrealistic expectations have begun before he even has a chance to spend a single night in the White House. I actually wasn't even going to write on this one until I saw the literary disasterpiece composed by probably the biggest racist, misogynistic, homophobic moron in this city, self proclaimed Crime Fighter , and race baiter extraordinaire Alonzo Washington. I've been going back and forth over doing a nice write up on Alonzo for a couple of months. On the one hand the guy did a good thing by turning over a tip which cracked the Precious Doe case. Local news people either fawn over him like he is the second coming of Christ, or they treat him like the chatty fat kid during recess, and avoid him like the plague. My problem with Alonzo doesn't come from the fact that the guy is an egomaniac, constantly thrusting himself in front of the cameras. I don't even have an issue with the guy's incessant whining about everyone from the media to the police, and how he single handily cleans up the streets of Kansas city. What I do take exception to are his constant racist remarks, his thinnly veiled shake down tactics, and some of the plain shitty comments he has made regarding crime victims and their families. So heads up, I'll be doing a nice long piece on Alonzo Washington tomorrow. But I digress.


People have every right to be excited about our new President, that said, those same people need to get a grip. While I wholeheartedly support our new leader, he hasn't even take over yet, so it's a little premature to put the guy in the same class as Washington or Lincoln. The one thing Uber Goober Alonzo got right in his "Post", is it will piss people off. But that doesn't exactly make them racist, it makes the realists. It all goes back to an earlier post where I explain that we shouldn't set Obama up for failure by over-hyping and adulation. Another really big problem, and a sensitive issue is the assumption that Obama is already a great leader by proxy, simply by virtue of pigmentation. It's also an unintentional insult to Obama by his overzealous fan club. It says his color mattered more than his policies. It says he isn't just the President, that he has somehow transcended the office and sits in some lofty throne rather than the oval office.


Let's get it straight, once and for all, because I hate repeating myself or explaining what I meant. Obama holds a historic place in the annals of American History, he is the first non white president. This speaks volumes about the great strides we have made as a nation. What his ethnicity does not do, is automatically make him a great president, or even a mediocre one. Time will tell, and I believe it will reveal him to be competent at least, hopefully great, but I'll hold off making any baseless predictions or premature judgements one way or the other. We should judge our leaders, just as we judge any other person. We base it on character, actions and motives, not on the color of their skin. So let's not roll out the red carpet and sound the trumpets just yet. Let's give him a few weeks before we pronounce our new president Jesus Christ, Dali lama and Gandhi all rolled in to one.

Oh, and just in case nobody told ya, I'm back bitches!

Perp , victim , or both ?

I am almost at a loss for words. I was watching the news, I think it was ch 5, to be honest I was so stunned by what I saw and heard, that the channel escapes me. A young thug goes in to a small grocery store on Prospect, pulls a gun to rob the guy behind the counter, the intended victim pulls his own gun, shoots the robber who stumbles outside and dies in the parking lot. A woman is being interviewed afterward, it was that short interview that left me stunned and almost unable to write or even utter a single word. Okay, not really that stunned, I've got plenty to say.

The woman is visibly upset, crying in fact. She tells the reporter how she ran to help the young man who was bleeding out in the parking lot. Then she says an amazing thing. " He ( the clerk) didnt have to kill him. He could have just wounded him." I sat staring at the television. This woman, heavy set, clearly poor, living in the epicenter of a Kansas City war zone, during one of the city's bloodiest seasons in recent memory, and she feels compassion for the guy who tried to rob the store. Wow, that is amazing. I doubt anyone short of Mother Theresa or the Baby Jesus could have mustered up the anguished compassion that this woman displayed. I actually backed the DVR up to hear it again, to be certain.


So I'm sitting staring at the TV , trying to wrap my head around what I've heard. One short sentence is running on a loop over and over in my mind, a small voice, just repeating the same thing over and over, in reaction to the Christ like compassionate words the woman spoke. All I could manage to say, at first just in my mind, and finally out loud, was.............Are you fucking kiddin me? He should have wounded him? Better yet, he should have just reasoned with him, or thrown gum drops and skittles at him. Maybe the group that was up the street holding a prayer vigil could have come down and prayed for the young guy. Clearly this young man was poor, underprivileged, probably no decent role models. The robbery victim should have just handed over the money, wished the young man godspeed, and hoped that he wouldn't kill him for his kindness. At the very least, the clerk could have just shot the gun out of the kids hand, like in the old Lone Ranger TV show.



Then I follow a link from TKC over to Alonzo Washington's site. He tossed out a two or three sentence comment on the story, here it is "KC Store clerk kills robber. If that's how it went down. The story sounds a little fishy. This store fought crime in a big way. Although, if you would have asked them to support anti-crime efforts in the area they would not have given you a dime." Once again I was momentarily struck mute. Seriously, The story sounds fishy, what does that even mean? A conspiracy, subterfuge, a cover up, what? The young man was trick or treating for UNICEF, the clerk shot him for no reason, slapped a throw away piece in the guys hand and shoves him out the door.


It all seems pretty cut and dried to me. Robber pulls gun, robber gets shot, robber stumbles outside, bleeds out on the sidewalk. It's a wasted life, and it's awful that someone died, but this little prick isn't the victim in all of this. I know Alonzo Washington works with the police, and some of the African American community. I realize that the woman who helped the dying would be robber was probably traumatized and in shock. So I'm not without some sympathy, that said I would be a total fraud if I ignored the giant fucking elephant in the room. It's called accountability, you know accepting responsibility for your actions. It's called laying the blame at the feet of the person responsible. I think having spent 5 years and change in prison, being accountable for my decisions, gives me some authority on the subject.

I dont care that the kid came up poor, I dont give a shit if the deck was stacked against him due to economic and racial disparity. Look, it's a fact that African Americans, in general are poorer and have less opportunity than whites. It's wrong, it's unfair, and it shouldn't be that way. And every single time some young inner city African American fucks up, someone will come to their defense, blame it on society, race, poverty, the cops, and there is a part of me that sympathizes, up to a point. But when you throw guns in to the mix, when someone gets shot, killed or harmed, my sympathy usually extends to the victim, not the gunman.



Anytime someone dies a violent death it is tragic, it's a waste, it's sad. That being said, if you decide to stick a pistol in a strangers face to take what is theirs, then you run the risk of getting killed. You automatically lose your right to play the sympathy card. My attitude has changed over the past year or so. You can go back through my archives and see the evolution. I am seeing things in a slightly different light. I am not so quick to give people a pass based on race or poverty. I'm beginning to think that maybe part of the problem is just that, a perpetual pass.

I know there will be the typical reactions from some folks who read this. There will be the racist morons who will take what I've said as an indictment upon every person of color breathing air, and there will be the knee jerk reaction from the other side of the coin, I'm just an out of touch middle aged white guy talking out of his ass about something he knows nothing about. Both reactions would be dead wrong. I dont have on blinders, no rose colored glasses here. The police dont do enough, the city government doesn't do enough, the school district doesn't do enough, white society as a whole does not do enough, and I'm sorry but the African American community in this city doesn't do enough either. Nobody is doing enough to change the way these young killers are coming up. Making excuses for them, giving them a pass and pretending that the killers are somehow victims by proxy, based on skin pigment and poverty, is complete and utter bullshit. Implying that something is fishy, tossing in a red herring just for shits and grins, also falls under the bullshit category.