Fast Eddie Friday.....Here we go, fast and loose.

It appears that Ashley Todd aka Velma, will get diversion for her attention grabbing stunt last week. Apparently she has been in jail since the cops snatched her out of the Mystery Van and she fessed up to marring her abnormally bulbous liars head, with the backward B. While the whole incident has become laughable, chew on this for a minute; What if some random black man, fitting her generic description had been arrested for the robbery and assault she claimed took place? Would she have went along with the arrest, claimed he was her attacker, sending an innocent guy to the joint? Probably so. Hopefully this crazy bitch will get some help, I'd hate to see her do something really crazy , like pin a date rape case on Scooby Doo. Ruh Roh!

We have come a long way baby, when a plumber can expound on middle eastern foreign policy, on a national stage, and people lap it up like cats to cream. Not a political statement here, just a personal bit of insight, somebody needs to tell Joe the Plumber to shut his drain hole. In related news the Obama campaign has responded to the sudden popularity of Joe the Plumber, by enlisting his brother Pete the Plumber. He will be touring with Biden and Obama. Pete will expound on foreign policy, and replace the toilet gasket on the tour bus.

And finally, Sex offenders will be required to stay home, lights out, sign displayed saying "no candy here", or whatever it is supposed to say. On a bright note, it will be a no brainer who will be cleaning egg off their nondescript kidnapper's van in the morning. Seriously, it never ceases to amaze, confound and infuriate me, that these creepy fuckers have the gall to snivel and whine about their rights being violated. They feel violated because they have to register as sex offenders, they feel violated because they cant live next to a school, they feel violated because they cant pass out candy. It's ironic, that the very people who have no qualms about violating the innocent, are so quick to complain about perceived violations of their rights, brought on by their own guilty actions.

That's it for this week boys and girls. Everyone have a safe, Plumber and Pedophile free Halloween. I'll be back Monday, with that previously promised , Suburban/Rural blight post I eluded to during my urban Blight series. It promises to be Hillbilly-licious.

Fair and slightly imbalanced. One bad turn deserves another.

Meesha writes a good post and has the Ying to my Yang, .....let me rephrase that. Meesha posted some pictures that prove ignorance is bipartisan, and bad taste has no limits. It is a good counter balance showing what a certain section of society has been reduced to by this election. He makes the point, and a fair one, that the reaction to a similar incident directed towards Obama, was treated seriously by the feds, while this effigy is considered free speech. It's just another flavor of hate, the right doesn't have a monopoly on bile and bullshit. Calling it free speech, or chuckling it off as witty political satire is just a cowardly way of spewing hatred, without the balls to say it with conviction.

Soon they will resort to throwing shit at one another like ill mannered monkeys. I honestly believe this election has exposed the worst of us. And not for nothin, but somebody needs to tell the douche nozzle who put that shit on his house, the McCain dummy looks like Jimmy Carter.

Now for some good news; I will not write or comment on anything related to this election , until it is over. Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Fast Eddie Friday

That's right boy's and girl's it's back, Fast Eddie Friday! For those of you who dont recall what FEF is, allow me to enlighten you. When I dont have a planned post finished, or cant come up with anything that warrants one of my long winded tirades, I throw together a hodge podge of vaugley witty, mostly acidic, one and two, 3 or 4 liners, on totally unrelated topics. So here we go, fast and loose.

Politicians please stop using the term Main Street. I dont care which party you are with, you are not in touch with the people on Main street. And while I'm on the subject of annoying political catch phrases, Maverick, stop calling yourself a maverick for christ sake. You voted 90 percent of the time with the president. Senator, I met James Garner, you sir are no James Garner.

Obama, I think you are the lesser of two evils, of course I've been stripped of my voting rights so I can't vote for you anyway. That said, you might want to slow down on those vows to change the way this government is run. It's been running the same way since George W chopped down that tree to carve his first set of teeth. In other words, dont let your mouth write checks your ass cant cash.

If I hear one more politician talk about winning the war in Iraq, my head will explode. Let's cut the bullshit, there were no terrorists, al Qadhi, or weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. We lost that war before it ever really got started, because we had no fucking business there in the first place. Let me emphasize this point, You cannot claim victory in a war that was started based on false information and hidden agendas. Sure we have al Qadhi in Iraq now, because they came there to fight us, they brought the fight to us, not the reverse.

Sarah (Betty Boop) Palin is really getting on my last nerve. I'm not sure if it is her repeated claims that she is middle class, bullshit, her insistence that dealing with polar bears that cross from Russia into Alaska, constitutes foreign affairs experience, or her cutesy winks and that fucking Betty Boop voice. If McCain goes tits up and croaks while in the White House, we will be left with Annie Oakley running this country. Just because you can skin a moose and gut a fish, doesn't mean you are qualified to lead a country. "Say it ain't sooo, Joe!

This morning Channel 5 was covering the over night lead disbursement in Westport, the camera panned to one of the people who apparently was getting shot at. He was talking to the police, while sporting a giant over sized Stop Snitching T shirt. Pot meet Kettle.

My comrade and Kansas City blogger Meesha V. was awarded the Pitch Best Of Award for his blog. If you dont read him , I suggest you start, otherwise the KGB might come a knockin.

And last but not least, a certain self proclaimed crime fighter in Kansas City is really starting to get on my nerves. I have a "Stupid Statement" counter running as we speak. This guy has about 3 or 4 more retarded statements to make, before I let loose a tirade, the likes of which have never before been witnessed. Seriously, Alonzo, give the crazy shit a rest, go back to helping people, rather than sounding like some spoiled kid who didn't get picked first for dodge ball.

Okay, that just about does it. Everyone have a safe weekend, in other words do your drinking in JoCo. I'll be back Monday with my latest installment of ne'er do wells I've known.