Dyslexic Robber or the tried and true " It was a nondescript black guy" routine

You are at the ATM, you withdraw 60 bucks, and head to your car. Suddenly a tall black guy emerges from the shadows. He takes your money at knife point. As he is about to make his getaway he pauses to check the bumper sticker on your car. This criminal, who is desperate enough to rob you on a city street sees that you are a McCain supporter. He comes back beats you up, risks blowing his clean getaway. Then he uses a knife to carve a B on your cheek. The B is backwards, the wound makes what looks like a rub mark. No cut, , and while backwards, the B is pretty neat, like whoever did it wasn't concerned with getting caught. The police won't even verify that a crime took place. The victim refuses medical treatment, and like the trooper she is goes on to do Gawds work for her political candidate. A dyslexic robber who is such an adamant supporter of a presidential candidate that he risks being caught in order to rub/cut a B in his vic's face. Or an overzealous, attention starved person with bad intent. You decide for yourself, as for me, I'm calling bullshit. And just for the record, same circumstances , different letter, say an M, and I still wouldn't buy it. Remember kids, knives cut, they at least scratch. I've been cut by a knife, and lady that's no knife wound.

Another theory, mine anyway, she was in fact robbed and rubbed the B in her face, went to the hospital 4 hours later, voila', national headlines. What do you think?

Update ******* Cops are saying the "victims" story is changing read it here.

Update***** Liar Liar Pants on fire .

For sale by owner. Florida home and a womb with a view , but that's extra.

So this Florida woman Deven Trabosh, has listed her house for sale for a little under 400K, she has also thrown in herself for a half million extra. She gakked up some drivel about how she was wanting to sell her house before she lost it, and seeing's how she is all romantic and shit, she figured to auction herself off to some prince charming with an extra 900k and change laying around. So let me get this straight, for the meager sum of almost a million buckaroonies I not only get a house, but I get a middle aged woman with two kids. Now that's a Bawgun!!!!!

I don't have that kind of cheddar laying around casa del midtown, and frankly I wouldn't pony up that much moolah if I had it. She looks nice enough and all, but buying a spouse isn't like buying a car, there's no such thing as a classic in the spouse trade. Lets face it, man or woman, when it comes to buying a mate, anyone shallow enough to buy a spouse, is going to go for a newer sporty model, not a high mileage mini van. Then again I've been wrong at least 3 times in my life so maybe she is on to something.

I wonder what my ad might look like if I put myself on the market. Hmmmm..............I wonder...

For Sale By Owner

48 year old fixer upper. Do you have a good imagination? Are you handy with a hammer? Then this is your lucky day. Romance and charm await you in this spacious 4 room midtown apartment.The furnishings are an epileptic mix, er I mean eclectic, mix of second hand furniture and art prints , which were screwed into the wall with 3 inch deck screws, when I was to stoned to find a wall stud. I have a ready made family waiting for you as well. That's right, if you are the lucky bidder, you will find two spoiled dogs and a couple of messy fucking parakeets. You can bond with the 2 dogs when they need to go outside , at midnight, in this high crime area.

You can look forward to nights filled with wacky humor and hi jinks. Classy shit, like me innocently asking if you know the answer to a real estate question. When you inquire what the question is, I expose my willy and ask "Is this alot"? I'm moody, self centered, I smoke, I'm lazy, an ex con, low paying job and a six figure restitution payment plan, that will be paid in full when Im 93. (really, I'm serious) What more could you ask for?

Why bother to go through all the headache of actually meeting someone you like, and share common crap with. Since most marriages end in divorce, why not marry someone you'll be glad to get rid of ? Since I rent, you wont actually own the place, but you can watch my TV, just don't fuck with the remote. The bidding starts at a PlayStation 3, a bag of weed, and a carton of Marlboro lights.

Pretty ridiculous , huh? Not nearly ridiculous as Deven's ad however. I'd have a lot more respect for her if she would just call it what it is, which is, looking for a rich doofus. And honestly, a half million is pretty steep, especially if you consider that she is in Florida, which is rife with well heeled old guys who would normally jump at the chance to marry a woman 20 or 30 years their junior. So if she cant pluck some sugar daddy off the shuffleboard courts, she is either lazy or crazy, and who wants to pay for that? Yeah I know, she is looking for loooove, and Im looking for a Pulitzer, my chances are slim to none, Deven's are slightly worse. Anyone stupid enough to buy in to the bullshit she is slinging, isn't smart enough to hold on to the kind of money she is trolling for.

So Deven if you read this, I ain't mad at ya. Just drop the whole princess looking for a prince routine. You are a middle aged divorcee with two kids and a mortgage you cant pay, welcome to the real world. The world is full of women in the same situation as you, and they aren't all on the interwebs, embarrassing their children, and slinging their way over priced WhoHaa, under the guise of looking for Prince Charming. I've got more respect for hookers, at least they call it what it is.

Bad news you are fired, Good news I get a raise.

We are going to have to let a couple hundred of you folks go. You can look forward to a steady decline in your city streets and more pock marks in your roads than on the faces of 15 year olds at a candy convention. And the zoo , the one that most lifelong residents of the city went to as children, and then their children, well we are cutting their funding as well. And the extra police we promised, well we cant afford those either, so you folks just stay clear of windows in your home, and don't go out at night. The good news is we all got a raise!!!


Sounds like the commercial where the guy saved a shitload on his car insurance, doesn't it? Well it isn't. It is a pretty accurate account of the pay raise that the Mayor and city council were FORCED to take. Councilman Ed Ford told Fox 4 , with a straight face that they were forced to take the raise, the city charter didn't allow for them to turn it down. Not so fast Eddie Ford, I don't claim to be a big political policy expert here, but didn't the mayor and council just vote to approve those pay raises that the previous council voted in? Lets not blow smoke up the collective ass of us tax paying residents of this city, mmmkay. And , your token gesture of decreasing your expense accounts by 10 grand, just goes to show that you clowns on the council, along with ring master and clown in chief, Mayor Funk, have been sucking at the tit of the city and gorging your gullets on exorbitant expense accounts.


And now on to Mayor Mark Nero ( hand me that fiddle) Funkhouser. I started out thinking he was going to be a progressive Mayor. He talked more shit than a Philadelphia lawyer, and I bought in to it along with a slim margin of voters who put this clown in office. Thankfully, I cant be blamed for voting for him, since I cant vote, I do however pay taxes and have lived in this city 40 plus years, so Im entitled to call bullshit when i smell it.


The funk says most of us don't care that he is getting a much deserved raise. I'd say that is just another example of a guy who is so out of touch with the people he so poorly serves. According to a poll on Fox 4 almost 95 percent say they do care and that you and the city council don't deserve a raise. I didn't need to see a poll to know that people don't think a raise in pay is justified, I also didn't need some douche bag incompetent council member to tell me they had no choice to but to vote yes for the pay raise. Why do they call it a vote, if you cant vote no?


I've been content to sit back and let TKC and RDM pimp slap the Mayor around for the most part, but this is just to egregious to let pass. I'm not buying Ed Ford and the rest of the lackeys on the city council's contention that they were forced to take the raises. Im definitely not buying what the Funk is selling when he says he deserves a raise. Furthermore, not a single person working for the city should get a raise, not when close to 200 of their coworkers are getting the boot. the whole thing is Funky, it stinks to high heaven.

Change isn't always a good thing. Just ask Tony Conforti

Tony Conforti has operated his business in Kansas City's City Market for 37 years. To me that means the guy has been loyal to the city through the many ups and many more downs that the City Market has been through. 37 years as a tenant means Tony was there when the mobbed up guys were killing each other and blowing up buildings. 37 years means Tony was there in the 80's when the city market and surrounding area was practically a wasteland. 37 years of loyalty, 37 years of being an anchor in an often struggling area. what do you suppose Tony received in the way of gratitude for his many years of paying rent and taxes to the city? A plaque? Gold watch? Thanks? Kiss my ass? The last choice is close, Tony is getting the boot. Come June 13th, barring a change of heart, (as if) , Tony has got to go.

You could argue that with change comes some unpleasant parting. If you believe the horse shit from the out of touch, clueless, Development /management firm Copaken, White & Blitt, the city market is on its way to being an entertainment and shopping destination, much like the drab cookie cutter crapola they developed all over southern JOCO. Maybe it is, maybe the wave of the future is for a bland sameness and more chain stores. And the Kansas City government in its over zealous attempt to be progressive, like an abused hooker , buys in to whatever pipe dream her latest pimp is selling.

I'm not knocking our neighbors to the west. I know in the past I've been a little rough on JOCO folks, but it was mostly all in fun, that said, if I want to live in Johnson County I'd move there, or to Lees Summit, or Blue Springs, two areas that are desperately trying to copy Johnson county. What makes me love this city is the history of it, the old buildings, the stories they tell.

The people calling the shots for the city don't care about the Tony's of the world. Sure they tell you they care, when they want your vote, or your money. They slide up on you just like a pimp. Instead of wearing a poorly made lime green suit from Harold Penners, they wear a shitty off the rack from men's wearhouse. And the mack they sling differs from the pimps , both in language and content, but the intent is the same. To turn a buck at someone else's expense.


If I seem to be taking the screwing of Tony Conforti personally, its because I am. I don't know the guy personally. Ive been inside his variety shop a dozen or so times over the past 20 years or so, but I don t know him. I know a lot of men like him though. They work hard, play by the rules and in the end so called progress rolls right over them. The City Market went through some progressive changes already, and it was a good thing. Empty buildings were turned in to lofts for the young upwardly mobile Abercrombie and Fitch-sters. But the heart of that area has always been the small business owners.


Ive spent many a pleasant weekend morning buying produce and browsing around Tony Confortis' store. And there have been other changes. The predominantly Italian owned businesses and the Columbus park area are now shared by Asian immigrants. It's a nice mix, and a change that was necessary to help the area thrive. But enough change already. Cant we have one place in Kansas City that still seems like Kansas City , rather than a mirror image of Overland park.